speakeasy Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Hi Kelly Holmes, Your dilemma really touched my heart as I faced a similar one but in reverse...I am Australian been living in the UK for years but soon to return to Australia permanently. I have been separated from my ex (British Husband) for a number of years and I have found it just too difficult to find my feet again in the UK, both in work and social aspects. It just was not possible for me to get my own place in the UK so we have both had the extremely difficult situation of us both still living under the same roof. I also feel that as a foreigner here I've had the real problem of only getting so far in the workplace before my foreign nationality became an impediment to any upwards movement. I feel like I've tried my best but it's simply not the right place for me anymore ....It's been quite a few years of real difficulty for me on all levels and yes I have struggled to cope with it all. More than I wish to write down here on a public forum....But I will say... We almost lost my dad (in Australia) last year due to pneumonia bought on by a weakened immune system as a result of his Chemotherapy treatment. I had an 'emergency' trip out to OZ last year in August as his life truly hung in the balance. My mum also has severe RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and she struggles to do quite a lot of things. Prior to my dad's illness he did a lot for her but now he simply cannot. What it reminded me was that my family and indeed my own well being out weigh any loans or other considerations. One of my prime reasons for returning will be to take over as carer for both my now elderly parents and to give myself the opportunity to re-start my life back home close to my lifelong family and friends. I am also taking my 3 beloved dogs back with me, they are like my kids and my folks grandkids...I myself do not have any children (I myself had Cancer years back so the treatments for that rendered that unlikely). None of this would be possible without my folks who are paying for myself and my dogs to come home at last. We have purchased a wonderful new house back in my dad's hometown (my folks myself and my dogs will be living there ) and yes we are all looking forward not backwards. As my mum says Every place you live in teaches you something ...and she's right...I have learned a lot living here in the UK and no I don't regret coming over here ...but it's time to move forward and to shut the door on the past. I too have the situation that I have loans in the UK that will not be cleared prior to me leaving. I have every intention of paying these off sticking to the established schedule and indeed will be transferring monies periodically from Aus to the UK to cover those direct debits that are already in place. I truly wish you the best and I'm sorry to read that Australia did not treat you kindly. I guess all I wanted to say is you need to do what's best for you hun, your family needs you and you need your family....don't let any existing loans be the priority. Sometimes it is hard to walk a mile in someone elses shoes but sometimes people understand more than you think they might cheers Mary-Anne It sounds like better days for you are ahead. I hope that Australia will heal your wounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bora Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 (edited) I don't think there are any easy options, more a case of trying to find the least worst solution to enable you to repay your loans and so on so as to allow you to not be looking over your shoulder or to enable you to live in Aus again without worry of a debt. Its good you've financial support to ship the dog back. Hopefully you can find a way to work out the loan repayments, even if that is taking a break from them and starting up again in a few months or some such. There is usually a way, you just have to keep chipping away to find it Well said Snifter some constructive comments better said than I. Good luck Kelly Holmes and remember you don't have to explain yourself to those who focus on missing the point and then go for the jugular. Edited February 15, 2016 by Bora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maryannen Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Thank you Speakeasy, yes I truly do believe better days are ahead and I am very much looking forward to going home to Australia...not sure I'd describe myself as someone with wounds that need healing ....more as someone who has experienced many life changes, had many life experiences, lots of ups and downs, and someone who has gained some wisdom along the way. None of us know just how long we have on this mortal coil ...and yes perhaps given my own experiences, more than I have detailed here, the fragility and preciousness of life has been bought home to me yet again this last year and truly reminded me what really matters to me. It also goes to show that things really can get better even when at times it's not looking likely lol All the best Mary-Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Ok, I have already asked once to get this thread back on track. As you have now scared the OP off I will close the thread and you can take your baby boomer argument over here http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/chewing-fat/245067-baby-boomers-v-younger-generation.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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