whoiam Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 I empathise so much Whichway. 13 years ago my wife, young family and I emigrated to Brisbane for a medical reason involving our elder son. The climate was wonderful for them and they have grown up happy so I have no regrets. When we lived in London we both loved entertaining and had wonderful dinner parties with all our friends who were couples and had young children like us. We are both teachers, she had a lot more experience and had no trouble finding a contract to begin with then a permanent post at a posh private school where she is now. Socially the sexes seemed to be segregated where all the fun seemed to be had on"girls nights out". Not wishing to spoil her fun I let her do what she wanted. I couldn't find a job so easily and wanted to socialise with new friends, couples as we had done before. The husbands didn't seem to want that, preferring the usual fishing, camping and going to rugby/league AFL matches. I had no interest in this and couldn't contribute as much as I tried. Eventually I put my hand up and said, "I'm in trouble here" We decided to take tango classes for something to do together but just ended up kicking each other ha ha! We then booked ballroom dancing classes which I was looking forward to but her best friend Melissa said she wanted to go. She was going through a divorce and my wife felt sorry for her so once again and like a fool I let her go, for it was there she met her current partner. I have no grudges and apportion no blame, life for her in Australia turned out exactly as she wanted, but it was for her and not us as a family. I have no family left in the UK as they have all passed away. Our sons have grown up now and are studying at Uni/TAFE here in Brisbane. I want to see them through that and then return home. I have set a date, Sept 2014. We came with such hopes and dreams, the 4 of us together. Now I return alone Paul your post brought tears to my eyes. I really do hope that you find love and joy in your present and future. From your words it's quite clear that Oz has never been home. Home is where the heart heals. All the very best to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoiam Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 ..........if things were different.......??? ..........or perhaps if my reaction was different.......if we cannot change the circumstance........change how we look at it............often it's not the situation but how we react to it..............though when in a family it's the ......whole...that needs considering........But not at the misery of one....iIMO..... ...........often we stay until our children are settled...........and if its not a destructive relationship......it's often workable.........though you have to do something for yourself.........not just waiting...........enjoy your life.......even if you have to do it separate to family.... .............I empathise with both whichway and Paul.............. ..............sometimes a partnership does grow apart.............to of enjoyed and made the most of the good times.............and to let go when it no longer suits you both..........is hard...............especially when you stay around for children...........the hardest part is keeping animosity at bay................remembering that you both wanted the best for you and yours...............but accepting your interpretations .............now differ..............I wish you both luck with your choices............may they make........you .....happy.........and hopefully be acceptable to yours................tink x Thats the soundest piece of advice I've heard in a long time Tink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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