midwife2005 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 So we have a case officer, police checks are in and medicals finalised. All we are waiting on now is form 1229 to be completed by my ex husband to give his consent for our son to emigrate. The DIAC already have a statuatory declaration from him giving his permission but have asked for this form as well. So bit of background......my ex moved to South Africa in 2006 after we seperated and he has only been back to the UK a handful of times since. Our son lives with me and sees his dad about two weeks out of a year and speaks to him on the phone very occasionally. He pays no maintenance, doesn't buy him clothes etc has not bought him a birthday/christmas present for the past 3 years, promises him everything only for my son to be let down again and again. It took me 12 months to get him to do the stat dec and it was only done because his brother physically took him to a solicitors and paid for it and now.......form 1229. I have no address for him so I arranged to have the form sent to the FedEx depo in South Africa for him to pick up, which he did and I have arranged for it to be sent back at no cost to him and yet he hasn't sent it back. I'm getting more and more stressed as the days go by. I spoke to my agent and he said worst case scenario the case officer could ask for a court order!! I feel sick with worry as we havent got the time or money to go down that route and if we are paying to go to court then I would rather pay to get full parental responsibilty but dont know if this is a viable option. Any advice anyone before I have a nervous breakdown! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Can't help but, best of luck, its sounds an awful situation, fingers crossed, can't you speak to him again and explain? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Claire101 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I feel for you Jen, let's hope he gets his finger out and doesn't mess this up for you. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midwife2005 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 I'm just beside myself with worry. I said to my husband before this should be an exciting time for us but we can't enjoy it cos of this hanging over us. He can be so unreasonable and I have spoken to a solicitor about this before and he said I'd have no problem getting a court order as no judge in the land is gonna say that I can't live in oz when he lives in south Africa but the clock is ticking now meds are finalised and the cost is just another issue we could do without. Gonna speak to my agent tomorrow and see if he can explain the situation to our case officer, I could understand if they didn't have the stat dec. Another sleepless night for me :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nollie Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 oh sweetie, this is horrible, i like you are going through the same thing, my ex has not spoken to, paid for or had any interest in our three children for just under 8 years... i am in the process of chasing him for the signed paperwork, he also lives abroad .... the law in this matter so sucks and needs changing, why they think its ok to give father rights to people that just dont care... i will keep all crossed for you and hope he sorts, us like you do not want to go to court xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwgster Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Terrible what people can do.. I really feel for you.. I will pray that you get there. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midwife2005 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Still nothing. I'm in contact with his sister here in the uk and he keeps saying I'll do it tomorrow. Why even bother going and getting the document from the fedEx depo if he's not gonna do anything with it. I feel so helpless, I just don't understand him. Spoke to my agent and he said the next step is to send him a solicitors letter to his last known address (his fathers) and give him seven days to reply, we can then put a case forward to our case officer for them to make a decision. The thing is if I do have to go to court I know that he won't even bother to turn up. I'm just so upset right now, constantly on the verge of tears. The sad thing is I really thought he would sign and return it.....how stupid am I :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midwife2005 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 I'm just beside myself with worry. I said to my husband before this should be an exciting time for us but we can't enjoy it cos of this hanging over us. He can be so unreasonable and I have spoken to a solicitor about this before and he said I'd have no problem getting a court order as no judge in the land is gonna say that I can't live in oz when he lives in south Africa but the clock is ticking now meds are finalised and the cost is just another issue we could do without. Gonna speak to my agent tomorrow and see if he can explain the situation to our case officer, I could understand if they didn't have the stat dec. Another sleepless night for me :-( Hi nollie, if you don't mind me asking have you spoken to a solicitor with regards to your case? Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Val Tibenham Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Still nothing. I'm in contact with his sister here in the uk and he keeps saying I'll do it tomorrow. Why even bother going and getting the document from the fedEx depo if he's not gonna do anything with it. I feel so helpless, I just don't understand him. Spoke to my agent and he said the next step is to send him a solicitors letter to his last known address (his fathers) and give him seven days to reply, we can then put a case forward to our case officer for them to make a decision. The thing is if I do have to go to court I know that he won't even bother to turn up. I'm just so upset right now, constantly on the verge of tears. The sad thing is I really thought he would sign and return it.....how stupid am I :-( Firstly, you're not stupid at all - get that idea right out of your head. He's just playing mind games with you - his type enjoy that kind of thing. I was married to one of those - I speak from bitter experience. He doesn't actually want anything much to do with his child but god help anyone who might try to take away his rights. He will probably know that he is winding you up good and proper and that is what he enjoys - or at least my ex did. Just try to remember that there are altenative ways of resolving the situation, you will still get to Oz and you won't need to be in contact with him again. Sending you lots of positive thoughts, chin up girl :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midwife2005 Posted May 18, 2012 Author Share Posted May 18, 2012 He's only bloody gone and done it!!!!!! Omg what a relief, spoke to my agent this morning and he had the form in his hand with the certified copy of his passport page......phew!!! Really thought this was going to turn into a nasty situation. Many thanks to those who replied to my ramblings. This visa business is bloody stressful:err: Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tappers2oz Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Awwww i'm so glad he has done it. Hopefully now you can relax a little and enjoy the rest of the journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Val Tibenham Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 So pleased that he's finally done the right thing - hope you can enjoy your time now :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time4change Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I was reading the first page of posts, getting more livid for you, and then I saw he had done it! :0 SO pleased, please keep posting to see how you get on. We're applying at the moment. It's the waiting game that is the killer isn't it! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ScOz Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Yes, me too. So chuffed for you, it must have been a terrible time for you but a great relief now. Hopefully...............happy days. Good Luck with the rest of the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Victory Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 A happy ending. Congratulations x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nollie Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 wow i am soooo pleased for you ,,,, my ex has paperwork, he has another week to respond, then its a solicitor letter, it is so frustrating and the waiting is doing my head in, i really think the law should be changed and absent fathers should lose any rights after a certain time..... tick tock tick tock, and to another poster yep i have spoken with a solicitor who has advised i have to give all opportunities for him to respond then i have to approach the courts for permission to remove kids from the uk. i feel the anger that you felt and i am near to tears every day just waiting for the post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alfieward Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Hi Everyone we are in the process of applying for leave of court for two children we both were married and have custody of both children (one each from previous) Does anyone know when you go to court the child is interviewed and they say they want to go is that it or does it go on longer than this. Both children want to go desperately. We started application in 2008 so we are desperate to go (we have just been allocated second case officer - second lots of police checks and meds) any info on this would be so much appreciated. Many thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Claire101 Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 He's only bloody gone and done it!!!!!! Omg what a relief, spoke to my agent this morning and he had the form in his hand with the certified copy of his passport page......phew!!! Really thought this was going to turn into a nasty situation. Many thanks to those who replied to my ramblings. This visa business is bloody stressful:err: Xx Yay!!! That must be a huge relief for you. hopefully you can sleep easy now! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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