Beckfield

Hi Verystormy, Thanks for your comments, but where did you live until the funds from the same came through? We don't have any surviving family there now except for one brother who lives several hours' drive from NY and because of living on different continents for so many decades, we barely know... We are entirely reliant on the funds from the sale.

It's not super tiny NickyNook but yes, small. There are some homes that have sold, including one derelict old dump that the buyer is going to demolish and build a new house there. We were amazed that they never looked at our place, as the price they paid wasn't that far below our asking price. It's as if ours is invisible.

Hi newjez, we're in southern NSW (inland).

Interesting thought Marisawright. We have put it for sale with both agents in the town. I hadn't thought of renting it out and still going to UK but renting a house there. The house is nice - large, neat, clean, tidy, on 1/2 an acre. Neutral decor, all that.... no idea why it won't sell. We've reduced it, it's in the best location in town, there's no work needed and according to agent it's underpriced now. Doesn't make any sense to me. Appreciate your input. Thanks.

Yes, that's occurred to us too Drumbeat. Our heart was set on going back to England though. We are realising we will have to rethink our plans.

Thanks for your comments snifter. Yes, we won't take it off the market, I suppose because there's always that slither of hope that someone might come along who wants it... We were intending to relocate to North Yorkshire, which is where we're from. As you'd be aware relocation expenses are high, and we'd decided to sell all furniture etc, but we were going to take our 2 animals with us because they're "family members". Someone said to me it's our own fault as we could have gone years ago, but we had very elderly parents and weren't prepared to leave them, which I don't regret at all. C'est la vie....

Hi everyone, well we have now officially given up on ever selling the house. We did everything conceivably possible to sell it but nothing achieved a sale. It seems we are stuck here. "Devastated" doesn't even begin to describe how we feel. We reduced it several times, it presented really well, did the gardens, on a double block, etc etc etc etc but it's in a country town where "slow" doesn't even begin to describe the real estate market. If we reduce it further we won't be able to afford a house in England, so there's no point. To be honest I feel like hibernating and licking my wounds, but wanted to relay our situation as so many people on this site have been very helpful and supportive. Short of a miracle happening it seems we'll be stuck here for the rest of our lives. It would be very easy to swear right now, but I'll refrain...

You've given a stirling picture, which answers my question very well indeed. My brother returned to England several months ago and he is in full agreement with you and your wife, his comments being almost verbatim with yours here - very very similar. I will be returning with my early 20s daughter, who sees it as an enormous adventure. I just hope she settles as well as your children have and doesn't hanker for what she's left. I couldn't live 12,000 miles away from her, so it's a given that I would return too, despite my chagrin and horror at the thought of doing so, if she decided to come back. I understand and relate to your comment "I realised in my early 20s that I was just more English than Australian." I have always harboured a strong and at times crippling sense of homesickness for my own country and it hasn't diminished with the passing years.. Having said that, I am in dread of being considered a foreigner and just hope I can absorb the accent quickly and authentically. It's great to hear of your experience, and very encouraging. I bet there are lots of people who have gone home and wouldn't change that decision come hell or high water. Thank you for your response. It fills me with hope. Oh! We haven't sold the blasted house yet. A (very large) fly in the ointment but we remain positive... Best wishes to you and your family.

Hello Jay2016, you sound as though you're going through that hellish indecision thing that is so awful. However, you are in a wonderful position You're free, you're young, you can go wherever you like with no restrictions, and if you don't like it you can leave and go back. We only get one life. Enjoy it and do what you want, forgetting the negative "what if's". All the very best.

Hi Bristolman, can you please be more specific regarding why "wild horses wouldn't drag us back".... I am interested to know what exactly people find in going home to UK that they really love. I agree with your wife about the heat. This summer has been almost unbearable. What age group are your children, may I ask? You say they have no interest in returning, - what is it about their new life that they like better than their Australian life? Hope you can give some further detail. Many thanks.

Hi Scousers1, I am detecting a real element of sadness in your post. Really don't want to speak out of turn, but it seems that you are planning to go, with a degree of reluctance. If you're feeling that way now, when the time comes to leave your family behind you may well find it's just too big a wrench, so it would be a really positive move if you could address your mixed feelings and concerns now, perhaps with the help of a qualified professional, who will help you make the decision which is the very best one for you. I feel for you very much as it's evident you're struggling on more than one level. xx

Hello Ryan&Rosie, we're in a similar situation. My research has shown that the vast majority of animals doing this long trip cope very well. Ours are doing the one with the overnight stop in Dubai, after deliberating about "getting it over with" asap and not having a stop, or giving them a stop where they can hopefully rest and have a break from travelling. A family member did the trip with his 13 year old cat and it went very well. The only problem with that was the company's driver who took the cat from Heathrow to Gloucestershire was not very nice and complained about the cat miaowing all the way, then threw the cage down when he got there (and yes there were repercussions). Aside from that it went very well. I have made personal contact with the sub-company who do the UK driving component, in light of the experience I just relayed and have also researched them. Nothing adverse so far... All the best with it.

Understandable..... thanks for your input. I wish you all the best too. x

Thanks Marisawright. I have rethought the flying visit bit. My brother is already in England and as soon as mine is sold he will look for something for us, and put a deposit on it. He knows the Must Have's and the Can't Stands, so it should be ok. We're bringing two pets as well. Yikes!!! Still waiting for the house to sell...... By the time it sells I may well be too old and/or senile to go. Lol!

Oh! can I ask what it was that made you realise you'd made a mistake? (if not too personal..).

Sorry Bristolman but I have to ask. What is the little animal in your picture? It looks like a little possum. ???

Have you returned to UK Sandgroper, or are you still in Oz? Sounds as if you've experienced returning home in the winter. ??

Patience never was my strong point I'm afraid. We thought we'd be back in England for Christmas. But must say, feeling very positive now it's a new year and they took lots of new photos of the house for the internet ad. Here's hoping..

Hi Sandgroper, yes, you're quite right. It's certainly realistically priced and we'll negotiate if need be. There haven't been many houses sold recently in our town. Agent is hopeful that with Christmas over with and warm weather in play we may have more luck.

Yes, Home and Happy, you are so right. I arrived "down here" as a child and knew I was an alien here. My parents never really fitted in here either, and we had a lot of tragedy in our family which wouldn't have occurred had we not come. having said that, Australia is a good country and most of the people are nice. It just isn't right for everyone, and as you rightly said, that feeling of belonging isn't there, well not for me anyway. I moved house loads of times trying to find somewhere I could settle and feel at home,(which never happened for me) but now, with parents both gone, and kids' education done, I'm heading home - and I can't wait. And I'm bringing my parents' ashes with me.

Very reassuring bristolman, thank you. Lovely that your family all love it in England - especially the children having adjusted to well. Yes, my brother's house sold immediately too, yet we are struggling to sell ours. We live in a country town here homes are less in demand, so prices are far lower than the cities and there aren't as many buyers. I hover between excitement at the prospect of going home, and anxiety, so your positive words are most welcome. Thank you.

Dear Backtodemocracy and LKC, thank you both for your really great hints on selling. I've certainly done some of what you suggest, and we have a neat, clean and tidy house that has a lot of character but there are things that could be done to improve it. We don't live in the city. We live in a smallish town several hours from the city, and our town is not exactly in demand, which I think partially accounts for its slowness to sell although not entirely. I like your idea of comparing it to others of similar value in our locality. LKC I was very heartened to read the final words in your post that relayed you were sure you have done the right thing. I have been youtubing my home town in England for years and just wishing we could go. When the house sells it will be surreal to be able to just go. I appreciate your input. Many thanks.

I can see how that must be tough, never having everyone you love in the one place. I hope your 27 yo girl decided to move to UK too. It would be so nice for you. We went through a similar scenario. Came here as children, left behind grandparents and other relatives that we loved and never saw again. I hope people who are thinking of migrating think it through and don't suffer the misery my family did. It's easier now though, to travel, than it was back then, so going back is possible for most people. One of my siblings went back a year ago and absolutely loves being home. His house sold really fast. Unlike mine ! Lol !! I'd love to hear how you get on - you only have 2 months to wait. Hope it's all fantastic.

I wish you all the very best Nijallo. It is a very big step, but you are right when you say you knew it was the right thing to do - it's just something you feel inside isn't it. I share your view. Like you I have never belonged here and that sense of belonging is so important. March 1st is very soon. You must be excited. If our house sells I will be buying my ticket too. All the very best to you and your family.

Thanks for your comments Verystormy. Can you please explain a little further what you mean about completing it from the UK? I don't quite understand what that's about. I was going to take a trip, a flying visit, to UK when we have a contract on our house, and find one to buy. How did you find it when you got home? Are you happy to be back?