Bristol Chris

I probably can't offer any good advice, but I really admire peopel like you. Not a great upbringing, however, not only surviving but excelling. I wish you the absolute best mate. One thing I've learnt, the more positive you think, the more positive you become. It's a bit contagious. And P.S ... you can do anything.

Sometimes high or inflated expectations get in the way of good feelings. Not saying you had this, but if Oz delighted you last time perhaps you were hoping for an equally amazing time. Not that I would blame you for that. If you have an amazing time at a restaurant, of course you'll want that on a return visit. What were you hoping for and what let you down? Pretty much everyone grows and is different in big or small ways over 15 years. Could it be what delighted you last time doesn't stack up today for the older more experienced 'you' ? It just comes down to what you are looking for / what you want out of life

I echo what others have said, I am really sorr y to hear your news and I sincerely hope you and your husband will be ok. I do think, why not set a time frame. If your furniture is already on the way, it will make you feel more 'at home' once settled in. You've come a long way (in many ways) and you are there. No-one could have forseeen the passing of close relatives, but there wer always going to be good and bad days when you make such a huge move. I guess the answer is, what are you relaly looking for in life? Where you woudl really honestly like to be in 5 years time? Set a xx timeframe - say 10 months and if you're stil not happy then think what is the best option for you both. Maybe it will be to stay or maybe it will be to go. Rather than just pack up and go, and waste the money and effort in getting there. Big decisions shouldn't be made just now, you're dealing with grief and all other emotions. Give yourselves some space.

Perhaps just phone or email them directly mate? good luck with your plans

I hope my coments didn't seem rude. You know your hubby and everyone has good and not so good parts of their personalities. No one is perfect. Yes, the whole two year what would we like to see. Not just 'I'd want to be living in X' but more I would like to be doign a job here and having this sort of lifestyle. At the moment your hubby might not be able to see anything but 'move back move back' tho, so be prepared for that. Everyone on here I'm sure wishes you all the best and hoping it's just a small (but feels bigg) bump in the road. Hope your ok.

probably! but I thikn we all are a bit. Good advice here, SYD probalby not the best to initlaly start in due to cost. Heard good things about Newcastle or Newie as I've heard people say All the best for your move SarahG

I do have to agree with this a little bib BOBJ

I can see how it would be very difficult for you and him. Is he the type of person who gives up easily at the sign of a struggle? I am consciouss that some people do and some people don't, that's the way it goes. I would say, I imagine you've spent a huge amount of money moving over. Can you remind him of that and that it would be worth putting in more time than a month! As hard as it seem now, I'm sure with utter perserverence and a touch of luck life could get better. Yes it can be all about jobs. I'm going to be a bit of a D. Advocate here and say your OH sounds a little insensitive and a bit selfish. Can he see the whole picture? Perhaps life in Ozzie is not for you both - perhaps it is - however, a month will not tell you. I think sit down, put all worries on a piece of paper and all the good things on another. Draw up a plan and say right, in a year's time we will relook at whether UK is best for us to return to. In the meantime, we're here, we spent loads of money to get here, we're doing something so many others only dream of - lets make a real go of it. Set a realistic timeframe and both stick to it.

This has been interesting

ah ok Nic F thanks for the information, you know a lot :-)

To the person who talked about childcare, I thought you got a nice rebate? or is that only for ozzies?

Ok thanks mate. I'll pass it on. NOt sure why he hasnt' just rung them himself to be honest. I'm not sure where he got the residency two year wait thing from, perhaps thats for a different benefit. As I said, he hasn't dealt with benefits before so may be barking up the wrong tree, woof ! ;-)

Ahh ok thanks Perthbum. He hasn't ever had dealigns with benefits before so wasn't sure. He said he read that because he's been away so long that they may make him wait as he doesn't live there and hasn't lived there for 11 years?

Him and his wife (who is Welsh) are returning to Sydney. Well, he's returning andshe's moving there. They have two kids aged 1 and 3. He is from Sydney but has lived out of Ozzieland for almost 11 years. They don't have jobs to go to yet, (I konw) and he was wondering if he would be entitled to any child benefits initially? I told him to phone the department invovled! He said that because he has lived out of Oz for 11 years he may have to wait for two years before he may be due any child benefits, if he is at all. Does anyone konw?

what a lovely balanced positive post. I really enjoyed reading this and glad things are really working out.

Sorry you find yourself in this situatin, I can see that you would both be feeling a lot of stress. I do agree with others saying about counseling. Get all off your chest, both of you, and clear the slate. I know you feel very drawn to the UK however and aren't saying you are manipulative (you entioned your husband said this) however you do use very emotive words "depriving the kids of their grandmother" - what about depriving your kids of their Australian grandparents/Aussie family? "But I made a bargain. The fact is that the bargain will make me utterly miserable" - is your husband miserable as you reneged on the 'bargain' "I just don't want my babies to suffer" - what will happen to them to make them 'suffer' in Austarlia? Do you say this to your husband? It just sounds very emotive and I can see, if you did say this, that he might think you're trying to only see the bad things of his side. Do you say these things in front of / to the children? Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying your'e a horrible person - not at all. You're clearly a very loving mum and want the best for your family and kids. You just want happiness after all, who doesn't! It just seems that you only see one side or at least only happiness with only one side. I think the couselling is probably the best idea. GEt it all out in front of someone who can help. Who knows which way the future will lead you but I wish you both the very most of happiness. It would be a very difficult position to be in - and I imagine many have been there before.

I've now read this thread a few times. Taken all in and what I've realised, everyone is different and enjoys/dislikes different things. You can't convince someone to like the beach, or outdoor lifestyle, or a UK supermarket or UK beer... if they don't. I enjoy reading posts where people give their own experience, goods and bad... I enjoy less people trying to convince other people one country is better or worse than another country - due to their own bad or good experience. Everyone will have a different experience. You'll drive yourself crazy if you read posts and make a decision to move or not to move based on someone else's experience ! And thikign more about it, you could draw up a pro and con list for Australia and the UK and I'm pretty confident the lists would be level. Go if you need to go, stay if you need to stay - but do it on your own experience, not others.

Thanks Stacy053

Cheers for a great pot mate. this has been really really helpful, cheers. I tried to use their site to see what size crate we could use, but it wan't working for me. Do you think a king size mattress and bed frame would fit? Just normal king size, not exteneded king. pLus a baby's cot and a whole hep of other cr£p we will fill it with! Mainly worried about the king bed and frame. Any help appreciated mate. Also, I read the rest of the posters messages and some people say they had to pay extra to get it to their actual door. Did you have to pay extra?

Can you collect yourself from port if you hired a truck / van big enough?

I thought I was the only person who experiened this LOL! Positive person - check, get in volved sort of thing - check. Happy thoughts of the future. Night comes - negative or really just not so positive thoughts creep in. What ifs, the bad what ifs. What in the seriously f are we doing... Decide each night - nope, definitely should stay. Come the morning, things seem a bit more positive. During the day more and more positive - this is a great move! Night falls...... It must be normal if there are at least two of us! It's a big big move. But really, what is the worst that can happen. You won't be shot in a cannon to the moon if it doesn't work out.

My mate's family stayed at the Singapore Orchid Country Club. They said it was very quiet and had three large pools. He said it was brilliant. One olympic, one more children friendly with a waterfall and the other I can't remember. They got a good deal and ate at the restaurants o nsite. There's also a small shop but not sure what he bought there.

What a lovely upbeat post. Good on you mate and hope it all works out - please nay sayers don't turn this thread into a 'who is nice and who is not';; it's just a comment from a happy guy

sORRY to tell you this but debts in the UK and Australia can and are chased and enforced. I know of two people who left debt in the UK (less than 20k). They applied for finance (loan, car finance or a store card I think (can't remember which one) and a company in Oz contacted a company in the UK and it went from there. They actually had debt collectors turn up on their doorstep in Oz. I don't know what happened from there tho.

Don't forget about your free 40 Singapore Dollars. http://www.singaporeair.com/en_UK/promotions/transit-promotion/ You have to go to a desk and show your onward flight - has to be with Singapore Airlines and has to be a transit