westie

Hi Well i had a good chat with hubby, and agrees it is all to much. My priority is to get him back on the road to recovery as best as I can. Trying to stay positive with all this. Wish my family would come and see me, but like most people they are having it a bit rough with hours being cut with there jobs. I even think they do not understand what it is like for me. I understand that, because i feel until some one is in this situation they never do. My hubby is terribly down with all this going on and very tired. We would love to sell the business, but live in Perth were everything is double brick, and he is Timber frame housing. Also the housing outlook in Perth is starting to go slightly wayward. This is our income and all our hard work, and thats what makes it so sad. I did a womens health check the other day, only to find out i am not doing so good, and may have to go into hospital myself. I am so over the crying and worrying, and feel like i do not know were to start. I am one of those people that i do primarily try to stay positive, and hide my situation to friends. I have lost a few friends due to Divorce and they have moved on. Sorry i sound so negative. I have contacted the Stroke foundation. I am sure we will come out of this soon, and hopefully look back and say " how the hell did we do this" and smile.

Hi Been a while since i was on this forum. Still trying to work out what to do???? Sick of crying over my situation and trying to be sensible at the same time. Its been 2.5 years of health issues with my husband, We did finally move into our new home, which was a dream at first, only in it 5 days and my OH had a stroke, lost the feeling in his left arm and hearing in his right ear has completely gone. He came out and within 2 weeks was back in hospital with fluid build up on his lungs. Not of this should be happening after all the surgery he has gone threw. Although you realise that open heart surgery is serious and needs time, and the other 3 strokes he has had, 46 years old no age. I have no family here and i need support, from a selfish point of view thats why i need to return back to the UK. We are trying so hard to keep the business going, but unfortunately some of the trades here are bad and have no morals, and thats a diverse range of people. Its like they take the piss because my husband has been so unwell. Trying to look after a 5 acre block is hard, and we have had the block for 3 years, and just tried to carry on and stay positive. He is struggling with his health and i want to return to the UK for support, and yes i miss my family. I feel if i do not get this sorted it will be to late but also have to think about my husbands health. So unhappy with all of this and feel terrible as my husband has endured all of this. What would you guys do???? Am i being selfish? I just want whats best for my husband, but i am struggling real bad.

Hi Rachel Have picked hubby up today from hospital YEH. He had to have another 3 stents in his main Artery, so he has 6 in total (full metal jacket) That was the terminollgy used by the nurses. They are going to monitor him closely over the next 12 months, if this fails for him then a Quadruple Bypass will be the only thing for him. He is very lucky to be alive, and one hell off a strong man. So i am going to be busy with the business and trying to sort our new home out. This should be a walk in the park compared too the last 2 years, well hopefully. Going to sort me some help out at the same time, need to try and stop worrying and focus on getting my positive outlook back. One step at a time is my new motto.

Hi I have found a support group 2 hours away , but we have just found out my hubby has to go back in hospital on Monday 18th January for either another stent to the heart, or a bypass. He has already had a procedure on the heart called a Bentals, and a pacemaker fitted as stated.His heart attack saw him have 3 stents six weeks ago. This is just such a blow for my hubby but and i hate saying this because i do like Australia, Perth has to have the worst rehab due to the cost off everything. All we can do is pray that all goes well, while i source the help. The Australian Heart Foundation have been fantastic, the lady i am in touch with who is helping me out is amazing. Fingers crossed everything goes well. One thing has come out of this, i am a lot stronger than i thought i was, and i will get threw this and my hubby.

Thankyou so much for your kind msgs. My husband is starting his rehab, and counselling today. One step at a time. I have a few friends but they all work full-time, but its me who seems never to ask for help. I feel like i would be a burden, when they are busy too. After doing my post yesterday, i sat back and did some thinking, and yes i need to get him threw this phase that he is going threw, then take little steps after that. Hardest thing to do is watch your husband who is a workaholic suffer, but we will get there. I feel if i bring up the move at the moment it will be to much, so going to take little steps and discuss about the 5 acre block at a later date. Its sad because he loves our new block so much. I am sure it will all work out in the end along as i have him with me that is so important, some people are a lot less fortunate than me. I do feel guilty though when i find it all to much to cope and want to curl up and cry.

Hi Everyone I have lived in Australia for 7 years, and i do like Australia, but i am not sure if i should return to the UK? My husband has been very ill. He had Open Heart Surgery 18 months ago,then contracted MRSA, then a Pacemaker was fitted. He then had to go in to have the wires removed, because a secondary infection came along. He also had his hip re-placed then contracted MRSA again. His blood keeps clotting, but the doctors are starting to get on top of it, after he had a Massive Heart Attack 7 weeks ago, and had more surgery on his heart. (this is just a brief outline on what hubby has been threw). i find myself so unhappy and not able to cope on my own. All my family are back in the UK, and i am trying to run a business with him, and move house as we have just built on a 5 acre block, which i find no passion for after all this. I feel so bad for feeling this, and I have not mentioned this to him. I basically have no life here, as i am trying to do my best for my hubby. He shouts a lot at me, and argues over the slightest thing. I am trying so hard to stay calm and sick off crying into my pillow most nights. This is putting a strain on us very much, but i have been with hubby 20 years and i do feel very sorry for him. I am trying to figure out what to do about this situation, and feel very confused over it??? I feel very selfish because when i do have a few hours away from him, i feel a sense of relief, and feel ashamed that i think this. Deep down i am only here for my hubby, as he loves it here, but i am not living my life at the same time. I feel it would be better to return so i have family support but hubby does not want to go back to the UK and tells me it will be fine and i will cope!!! So i have left it at that for the moment, while he recovers. Very confusing!!!!!!!

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and the hell of losing a baby. Trying to prove medical negligence, is so hard. I feel like we get no answers from the hospitals but later find out that one of the hospitals has the worse infection rate and whats more paying out loads of money for private health care??? I have a new found respect for the NHS it really is a good thing. I am the same, all that has happened is it telling us to go back. I feel like i can not put any pressure on hubby at the moment, he has been threw so much. One day when i feel it is right i will talk to him. What ever decision you make as long as you are all together thats what matters at the end of the day. Yes money comes into play but at what cost to your health and family? I wish you all the good luck. westie

Hi I am pretty new to this so bare with me. :cute: I feel for you and what you are going threw. I am in the same dilema and trying very hard to cope. I have actually booked a counselling sessions so that i do not burden friends with my issues, and also to get things of my chest. I have even started a little journal to write down my thoughts and feelings. I live in WA (WAIT A WHILE) although its not bad i feel cut off and lonely to. i keep thinking about leaving and returning to the UK where my family is. My husband loves it here. It is over priced here and there seems to be more sharks on the Land than in the sea. I hear stories from people a lot here and we to have been ripped off very badly. The last 2 years have been rough hubby had open heart surgery then had to have pace maker fitted, then he contracted an infection. He has just had a hip operation, and contracted another infection called (please excuse my spelling) Cellulitis Staphacolis. This has spread to his heart and on top of that had pre cancerous cells in bowel. Like you i want to leave but love hubby and feel so confused on what to do. Please try and speak to a coucellor they are so good at listening and might give you a new prospective on things. If you need to let of stem PM me please.

Hi At the moment no, its always a trust thing when it comes down to your Business, and Hubby is unable to fly at the moment. I am sure things will work out in time, but yes i agree i should not make any rash decisions and concentrate on getting my hubby back to good health. Sometimes its just nice to hear what other peoples thoughts are when you feel blinkered.

Thankyou for your kind message. You are right, i feel i just need to sit back for a few months and see how things go. Sometimes you feel that you are the only one going through hell, but there are probably thousands of people in a worst position than myself.

Hi Has anyone had a difficult few years with health, and find themselves confused over wether to return back to the uk? I do like Australia but the last few years have been very trying. Firstly myself with going back and fourth to the hospitals for venesection every 2 weeks, just get back on track and then my husband ends up going in for open heart surgery, which they did an amazing job and the hospital care was amazing, then has to have a pacemaker fitted, which gives a few restrictions for him. It has left me with the dilema on staying here. All the family are back in the UK. He is recovering but my stress levels are off the show and trying to hold the business together. I feel very confused over this, and was wondering if anyone out there has had a similar experience.