crackerjack

hi Murta. Thanks for your reply. I asked my daughter for the therapists name on Wednesday and have as yet received no reply. I am growing increasingly dubious the money was for the therapist.

hi Blossom. Great point. It could be my daughters idea. Its so hard to know. It may be a combination of both, my ex saying I don't contribute enough and then my daughter latching on to it. Or it might just be my ex. She's more than capable. Its Saturday now and since I asked for the contact details on Wednesday I've not heard a peep. My daughter usually snap chats me every day, but I've not had any the last three days. Its horrible now because I don't know what to do next. Do I push for the therapists details? Suggest the free options? Wait for her to contact me? Deep down I knew this wasn't about money for a therapist and its horrible to be proved right.

Pom queen thanks so much for taking away my stress as well as offering up some thoughtful advise. Definitely dealing with the therapist direct is the way to go. I also might try to point my daughter in the direction of free counselling, either through the school or the head space centres. When you take the profit motive out of it you can at least be confident the therapist doesn't have an underlying desire to keep you stuck. My ex moved to Australia claiming it would make them better off financially (over here they were very comfortable too, on a joint income of 62k, living in a six bedroom house in Surrey), so its a bit galling to be asked for extras when we are living on half their income in a house half the size. When my step daughter also 15, asked if she could go on a trip abroad with the school we had to say no, but now I'm fretting about finding money for a therapist because my daughter is sent on every expensive school trip going. Still, I'm getting more dubious as each day goes by that this therapist exists, because my daughter hasn't got back to me with her contact details, so this whole situation may be moot. Que Sera, I'm going to try to keep my chin up and be as positive for my kids as I can be. Maybe one day when they are older they will see how wrong it was for their mum to run me down in that way. But even if they don't, I have a good life here, with so many things to look forward to. So glad things worked out for you.

Thanks for the encouragement Que Sera. I hope things are ok with you and your kids now. Last August I had an artery burst in my neck, just from a cough. I had excruciating head pain, which I still get from time to time, my eyelid drooped and my pupil wouldn't react and I was very lucky not to stroke, or even die (I always used to joke my ex would give me an anna-rysm). It made me realise life is short and unpredictable and I have to value all that's wonderful in my life, like my beautiful wife and family. I don't think my heart will ever stop being sad for these lost years with my children, but I am starting to move on at last. It'sthings like this request for money, and all the suspicion and doubt it instills in me, that sets me back.

Thanks Que Sera, I might just go and string myself up after that. Joking. No as soon as my daughters 18 I will block my ex. I may not have a relationship with my daughter or son by then, but I will feel I did my best to stay involved, paying for them to come over every year since they moved and going over there. I know my ex slags me off to my kids. My daughter left herself logged in on FB on my phone when she was visiting in December and there's my ex telling my daughter I don't contribute enough, as well as telling her the real Xmas tree she'd chosen with us which my daughter had photographed to send her, looked like ****. She's a deeply poisonous woman. Once my youngest is 18 I will have served my time. Ps. After reading your message I tried to remove the emails but can't figure out how....:chatterbox:

Thanks again Quoll, great points and plenty of food for thought. She will have been seeing this therapist for six months now which seems a long time. She told me she is seeing her for anxiety but in all honesty I don't know what she's seeing her for, and to address your question Starlight, I hardly ever talk to my daughter. I do try but it's very difficult to pin her down. She has admitted recently her mum had her FB password for the past two years, but even though she says she doesn't any more, I have my doubts. And even when we do Skype she never wears head phones so I know everything I say can be overheard, and her mum frequently shouts out for her to get out of her room (her mums room has the best reception.) thanks for your input by the way. Que Sera (thanks for your reply) I am deeply suspicious also. I often doubt whether messages are from my daughter (who is 15 by the way) or my ex, which is horrible, but she's got me over a barrel on this. If I say I won't pay, my ex will get a lot of mileage out if it, telling my daughter I don't love her enough to help out. If I go on holiday later in the year, she'll point to this as further example of my skewed priorities. That's why I have asked for the therapists contact details. But I still haven't heard anything back. I have been asked for money before (see below) but as you will see I said no. I think that's why she's got my daughter to ask this time, Frankly I can't wait till my daughters 18.

Hi there LKC, thanks for the info. I'm glad the psychologist was of benefit to your daughter and I hope she's thriving now. I am hoping my daughter will get a lot out of it too. She first told me she was going last September. She has been through so much with the move and the loss of so many loved ones. And she'd really struggling at school which gets her down. Can I just ask, do the ten subsidised sessions fit within a certain timeframe, eg, new year to new year, or April to April?

Hi Quoll, how's things with you? Thanks for your reply. That's very helpful. I can't think why they wouldn't get Medicare as they have permanent residency and their step dads got some health issues. I suspect this is just a way of getting some money out of me. My ex hates that the court stipulated that maintenance goes on my daughters flights to the UK, as well as my visit to Brisbane last year, so now I've asked for the therapists contact details, I'll be amazed if I get them. I asked for them two days ago and have not received them yet. I am in contact with the school and do get reports, and my daughter is really struggling. When she first moved I asked the school about counselling and they said it was available, but my daughter didn't want it with that particular person. Maybe the head space thing will be a good compromise if they don't qualify for Medicare for some reason.

Hi all, hope you're all well. I won't go into my history, some of you may remember I lost a court case to stop my ex emigrating to Australia in 2012 with my kids. Two days ago my daughter send me this message, 'heya dad, so this year mum and Nige had a million and one expenses to be paid due to a course I'm doing which is close to $1000 and a load of school trips that are $300 each. I was just wondering if you were willing to pay for my therapist? Mum and Nige said they cant keep paying for me to see her due to everything else they are paying for,and i really don't want to stop seeing her since she's helping me so much. Is that something you would be willing to do? Love you lots, Hannah xx Ok so here's why I'm posting. Does anyone know how much this would cost? I've asked for the therapists details to discuss it with her direct, but have not been given these as yet and suspect I won't be given them as I believe my ex will want me to pay her direct (and I also doubt it will go on a therapist). Does anyone have a ball park cost for a fifteen year old to see a therapist? Thanks ps. This is a psychologist we are talking about.

Setting off in the morning. Thanks again for all your tips. :smile:

Hi. We are staying near mogill country club if that's any help. And thanks Ozziepom. At that price I could maybe hire one for two days. Im really glad I thought to post on here for tips.

Hi guys, thanks so much for the good wishes and moneysaving tips. They were all greatly appreciated. I'm sure I'll put many of them to good use. I'll definitely update you all when I get home. Just to say I won't have a car. I can't ask my ex if I can borrow one, that's sadly not the relationship we have. And hire costs are prohibitive, so it will be public transport all the way. Getting excited now. :wink:

Thanks googoo. I think my daughter said something about having tickets already, so if its only for me, that will work out very reasonable. How's the cost of food in general? Such as if I was putting together a picnic for two or eating out? I just want to make sure I bring enough. Thanks

Hi all, I posted this on chewing the fat and got no replies so I thought I'd try here next. in three weeks I'm flying over to Brisbane to visit my children, aged 14 and 18. I've booked a BandB for me and my daughter, about 45 mins outside the city. My son I will probably see just a few times as he works and doing his own thing, so the focus here is on my daughter. This is a trip on a very tight budget. I'm only gong to be there for seven days. Can folks please suggest things I can do with a 14 year old girl that won't break the bank, cheap eateries, places to go, etc. all suggestions will be greatly appreciated! If I leave it to her to plan the itinerary I'll be bankrupt by the time I get home! Thanks in advance - See more at: http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/chewing-fat/213296-trip-brisbane-visiting-children-please-help.html#sthash.PtcHtP2L.dpuf

Hello, I live in the UK but unfortunately my 14 year old daughter lives in Brisbane. After a huge bone wearingly emotional battle, I have finally got her Mother to agree she can come to the UK to see me, from the 28th dec to 23rd jan. My 18 year old son is chaperoning her. I need to arrange travel ins just for her. Her mother says she can't book the flight, which is going to cost approx $2500, until I pay her $600 ausd for the travel insurance, but that seems ridiculously steep. Has anyone got any experience of finding travel insurance for a minor? And if so who was it with and how much did it cost. Thanks....

Youre right not to be conned. This is a pre election deliberately manufactured feel good bubble and it will burst. As an economist on news night said last night. We have growth but its not sustainable. I love the uk and wouldn't want to live in oz but if you want to go mate, you go, life's too short.

The Tories love a good housing bubble don't they. Young people found it hard enough to get on the housing ladder as it is. Thought the tories would get all their mates in big business to start investing again with an election creeping up fast. After all they've been sitting on billions of pounds all along because most of them haven't suffered during this financial crisis (caused by bangsters by the way , not the disabled or unemployed). The tories have had a very successful parliament for them and their buddies. Privatisation of the NHS and Royal Mail, lower wages and more job insecurity. Now they'll have a fire sale of the nationalised shares of the banks to pay off a chunk of the deficit and all the bloody sun and mail readers will say, look its all turned round now, and vote bloody Tory again, god help us!!!

Paphos