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Tina2

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  1. Tina2
    I guess i see it differently knowing exactly how Family Court operates in Aus, as I said coming out here not knowing anything about what happens would be far worse and I dont think it is planting a seed of doubt in there marrage. Would you travel overseas with out taking out insurance - just incase ? probably not, it does not say the plane will crash or I will get very sick if I go on that holiday, it is just making yourself aware of risks and making sure you have a back up plan.
  2. Tina2
    I think that is a pretty unfair comment. Sally and her partner have discussed this at length and agreed it is a good thing to do. It will help remove some of the stress if heavens forbid things go horrible wrong over here once they arrrive. Mum is simply offering some money to ensure both Sally and her partner feel comfortable knowing there is an agreement in place should things go wrong. The other thing it achieves is to ensure they are both aware before embarking on a move to Aus, just how difficult things can get if the marrage fails and the family court becomes involved. Far better than coming out here knowing nothing about what may happen. Whats that old saying ? For Warned is For Armed ?
  3. Tina2
    The truly heart breaking side of what happens in an international custody battle. http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/article/8876240/theft-victim-turns-vigilante-sleuth
  4. Tina2
    Unless you see this happening first hand people really cant understand what this feels like, and you are right mental issues that not only effect the person who desperately wants to go home but also the flow on effect to the children. This is worse than a jail sentance, because at least in Jail you get 3 meals a day and a decent roof over your head, and access to medical and mental health free of charge. The feeling of total loss and isolation for many in this situation is beyond words. Imagine this, you cant get a job, so struggle to pay rent on what you get from welfare payments, but know you could get a job, cheaper accomadation and a fresh start 2 hours away but you are not allowed to move, or you could go back to your own country, where there is family support, a job and you would not have to struggle and live in povety any more but you cant go because the ex says no, and no matter what you offer in the way of access and skype access again the answer is no. Its like the carrot om the stick dangling right in front of you but you know you will never be able to access it. Not just the HC that needs to be looked at but the family court in general.
  5. Tina2
    Australia
  6. Tina2
    100% agree Quoll, its the poor kids that this really effects they become like a piece of furniture that is moved from place to place on a weekly basic. Kids off to school on Fridays school bag in one hand and SUITCASE IN THE OTHER . Ask these kids and where do you live ? and watch the heads go down and look at the floor ! They have NO HOME they just have 2 houses. The other issue is child support, the more time you have the children the less you pay, so 50/50 means do one pays, or they pay a very small amount. As said by Rachel men who are self employed are the worse they hide there income, who suffers ? Yes of course the poor kids. On one side you have the parent with an established career often moving quickly into a new relationship so the bills are shared and income is combind, on the other side you have the other parent who has zero family support so even if offered a job 8 - 5 they cant take it. I have grave fears for the thousends of single parents when the removal of Tax B comes into force, there is no way many will be able to keep a roof over there heads. Both sides should be forced to be reasonable and do what is best for the child. Neither side should be allowed to refuse relocation on the grounds they are not prepared to travel to see the children, in effect condeming the other parent to a life of total povety. Forcing a parent to live in isolation be that interstate or overseas for 18 years is worse than a jail sentance.
  7. Tina2
    WOW for once I agree with you ! The issue is this, pre 1993 the law was very much on the side of women, it was almost automatic that women got the kids and dad was at the mercy of "some" women who were spitful and did not want dads involved with the kids. Then a chap called Barry started the mens rights movement, it has been like a wheel on level ground that then reaches a down hill section rapidly gaining momentum. Now it is 150% the other way. Women have little or no rights. The Family Courts state - everything must be child focused but that is far from what is happening. You really need to be involved and go through the family courts to understand what is happening now. As I said many women have no legal representation, they often dont have a job, which is the opposite for the men. It is very much about "money" simple as that when it should be about the children. I know of men who have openly lied in court and still ended up winning. Men on the witness stand for 30 minuets while mum is up there for 4 hours while the ex laughs and tells his council to "rip her apart" and "nothing" is done to stop it. I totally agree it should be "fair" but I assure you that is a long way off what is currently happening.
  8. Tina2
    This also allows vindictive ex partners to use this to emotionally destroy the ex wife ( punishment for a failed marrage at its best ) how can anyone settle into a new life wether they move overseas or interstate knowing that at any given time the ex can turn around and change there mind and the wife and children have to again pack up and move back to where they came from. It can also be use to "control" the ex wife - do exactly as I say and give me exactly what I want or I will make you move back. Money is another major issue, men often still have a job after seperation so money to fight with, many women have given up work to care for the home and children so they have no job, no money to hire lawyers so one person in court with lawyers and barristers and one in court self representing. Totally wrong.
  9. Tina2
    I cant help but my thoughts and prays are with both Ladies. We are Living the night mare every day and it will not end for another 13 years. I just hope people read this thread and make themselves very well informed about the rules of the family court before they move over hear. The love of your life may not be the most loving and caring person when it comes to divorce and who will live where.
  10. Tina2
    Been out of Brisbane for a couple of years now but both were great schools and the area in General is a top place to live. Well done on your husband getting a job in Brisbane, lovely place to live. Best of luck
  11. Tina2
    Well said waylander, the issue really is the family court tries a one size fits all policy and it is having devastating effects on the children. The court and judges work load is just so high they don't have the time to deal in a one on one type situation with all the cases especially when as you say you have narcissists hell bent on destroying the other party and control freaks who again want to control the Ex partner and eventually the poor kids dragging the ex to court over every tine thing. I don't know what the answer is , maybe make it harder to get married in the first place. That is the place to start, intense pre marrage councilling, and if you are planning a family more intense councilling where these sort of issues could be discussed. Yes some people would refuse to attend but if there was a rule that if you don't attend you cant claim any benefits for any child born that might do the trick. I wish you all the best in finding a job so you can save to return to the UK.
  12. Tina2
    Thank you quoll, try not being able to move SUBURBS never mind O/S with out the others approval, not for a better school, better housing, a job, a new relationship you are stuck till the youngest child turns 18. Currently family court is forcing children into overnight visits with the most horrendous results physical and emotional simply in an effort for children to have a relationship with both parents. God knows how the poor kids will turn out in a few years and there is little or nothing that can be done about it currently.
  13. Tina2
    But there is a very fine line between discussing anything to do with the children and actual cases, without knowing and understanding in depth the actual situation it would be very hard for an outsider to understand what is truly going on, though I admit because people are quite frankly to scared of the consiquences to mention the children or the effect the break down of the marrage has had on the children it may come across that the adults are putting themselves first.
  14. Tina2
    Under Blue Skies, the reason little of nothing is said about actual cases or the children caught up in these cases is because parents are not allowed by family court law to discuss these issues, and the same goes for the media. Anything said on open forums can and is being used against anyone who makes comments in open forums in family court disputes, this includes threats of jail time. I will however ad just one thing, we have now sold our home to try to raise funds to protect and support our grandchildren and our family member so please don't call people selfish unless you know the whole story.
  15. Tina2
    What an awesome dad ! Every case is different you in this case have played "fair" no one could ask more of you and I for one admire you for that I truly wish you well. I totally get how hard life is for you, I see it every day in our daughter but you like her will in years to come be able to hold your head high and say look how great the kids turned out despite all the crap I had to go through.
  16. Tina2
    Thought i would ad an update to this thread. The government in all there wisdom have now changed the law in regards to when single mums must return to work or starve. The age has been dropped to when your youngest child turns 8 year of age ! Yes at 8 "unless you have family who can care for the child or can afford before and after school care which costs a fortune" who looks after your child . if your family are back in the UK , and your ex partner either cant look after the child or does not want to look after the child? At age 8 single parents are moved of the parenting payments on to New Start which is below the povety level Not trying to scare anyone but this thread is about what happens if you split once you have settled in Australia and this is just another thing to think about. Bad enough when your family is interstate but when they are in a different country the challenges can be immence. for those interested http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2012/10/sole-o17.html
  17. Tina2

     

    <p> </p>

    <p><p>Good Morning, if your child has just turned 5 this year they will start "prep" in 2014.</p></p>

    <p><p>You could however enrol your child in kindy which has a pre school program places are limited in some areas.</p></p>

    <p><p>state schools (non private schools) are zoned that is you need to live in the zone to enrol your child.</p></p>

    <p><p>This shows local areas <a href="<a href="http://www.whereis.com" rel="external nofollow">http://www.whereis.com</a>" rel="external nofollow"><a href="http://www.whereis.com" rel="external nofollow">http://www.whereis.com</a></a> and different suburbs close to your work. Try <a href="<a href="http://www.myschool.edu.au/" rel="external nofollow">http://www.myschool.edu.au/</a>" rel="external nofollow"><a href="http://www.myschool.edu.au/" rel="external nofollow">http://www.myschool.edu.au/</a></a> this gives you a web link to individual schools with in the area you wish to live and academic results for the school in the area you would like to live. You also need to look at what you can afford in the way of a rental property becasue as i said you need to live in the zone for enrolment into a government school this is a site to find a rental on <a href="<a href="http://www.realestate.com.au/rent." rel="external nofollow">http://www.realestate.com.au/rent.</a>" rel="external nofollow"><a href="http://www.realestate.com.au/rent." rel="external nofollow">http://www.realestate.com.au/rent.</a></a> Also you need to decide if you want a school that is just primary prep - gr 6 or a school that goes right through prep to gr 12. Hope some of this help</p></p>

    <p> </p>

     

  18. Tina2
    And permission from the courts can take weeks if not months and will most likely cost far more than the holiday. Things continue to deteriate here in Aus in regards to Family Court leaning more and more towards what the men want so be very very careful
  19. Tina2
    Exactly ! Whopperdaisy, when you are in love and the sun is shining and the world is great you just never think of the "what ifs" but this is very much reality in Australia. If you Ex suddenly turns in a jeckle and hide and gets nasty and refuses to allow you to move life can become a living nightmare, as the law is on there side it is as black and white as that. If your break down ends up in a family court and orders are set, you are stuck fast until your last child turns 18 Here in Aus for a very simple break down involving split up of assets and family orders for children each side will be lucky to walk away with change from $150,000 in legal costs.
  20. Tina2
    Hi Freesia here are just a couple of links http://www.news.com.au/money/federal-budget/tough-love-budget-targets-single-parents-to-save-700m/story-fn84fgcm-1226346302653 http://www.deewr.gov.au/Employment/JSA/JobSeekerSupport/Pages/parentsCarers.aspx http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2012/s3606249.htm www.acoss.org.au/.../ACOSS_2012_sole_parents_submission.docx http://www.mychild.gov.au/pages/CCJobs.aspx A family member is half way through a course which she has had to pay for out of her meger income only to now be told the course is scrapped and she will have to either "find a private college " to help her finish it (she cant afford private even if she found one doing the course ) or move onto a higher level, start from the begining and pay for the entire course herself.
  21. Tina2
    Yes 2Tigers and many single parents are in panic mode right now. The government has also slashed funding to education facilities and financial support to single parent who were sudying to help them get a job. So with the Jet payment gone, unless you study a certificate 4 or above (to help with child care while you study) and forced to find some sort of work even though you have no one to care for the kids while you do so it is looking pretty bleak here in Aus.
  22. Tina2
    not sure where this goes so please Mods move it if there is somewhere more appropreate. Can i now advise people who are reading this thread to carefully look into the new laws just past in Aus in regards to what will happen to single parents from the start of 2013. Once your youngest child turns 8 you loose a whole range of centerlink payments even the payments you get for the children if you work- if you dont work you also loose a heap of benifits associated with your health care card. The idea is to force single parents back into the work force. Yes brillient idea is the first responce, but stop and digest the reality. Single parents are basically on there own with the kids as stated previously due to the family court laws they cant move closer to family or friends to help when the kids are sick or after school - so what happens to an 8 year old child while the parent is forced to work ????? It is illegal to leave an 8 year old at home on there own. The parent cant move to find work, move to find cheaper accomadation and with employment vacancies (except in the mines) on the decrease how are they supposed to support the kids ? Only answer is to hand the kids over to the other partner if he / she is working and has the support base for the kids but if he/she is not the ideal parent what sort of situation are you then putting kids into ? No good going to the family court and many parents are now to scared or to broke to do so. Just some food for thought.
  23. Tina2
    Here in OZ if mum gets a monetery settlement then if she has over $1000 in the bank she cant apply for legal aid all legal advise needs to be paid for out of her own funds and with lawyers charging like wounded bulls that money wont last long. Every time the parents have an issue they cant work out they MUST to go to medication (there is free mediation) takes "months" to get a place but NO LAYWERS are allowed so this can be a real trap for either party who may not be as smart or as decent as the other partner, private mediation costs on average $3000, after that then you have to go to court for a judgement and again that take months and costs HEAPS. Once your settlement runs out, then try living on center link payments which are adjusted according to any financial support ordered by the courts from your ex. Start adding things together, a vindictive partner who wont let you relocate (supported by the court) drags you to court at every opertunity until your settlement runs out, then you start to fight becasue he is saying he cant afford to pay support so you end up living on centerlink payments just above the poverty line with no family to support you because they are all back in the UK. You cant move to get away from him or her as the case may be, you cant move to get a better job, you cant move to live in a nicer less expencive area, you cant move if you meet a new partner, you cant move to get the kids into a better school to name just a few things without the written approval of the ex, and this is all fully supported by the family law courts of Australia.
  24. Tina2
    More from the wisdom of the family court australia http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/girls-in-hiding-from-dad/story-e6freoof-1226355288334
  25. Tina2
    Sheeni i am so sorry to hear of this. Dont know when this happened but as 2 tigers has said it does have a lot to do with the legal "team" you use and how much money you have. In our case the family member is now trapped in a state where she has no family support what so ever, no job and very little money, friends have walked away due to all the goings on, the ex has money a good job and a top legal team. Her life is horrendous, he is spitful, vindictive, and controling and there is zero she can do about it as she does not have the money to fight and to be honest she is not as intelligent as he is. EVERYTHING is a fight, orders are twisted to suit his desires and she gets to put up with it or find the money to take him to court, where she gets threatened with Jail for bothering the court over things the two of them should be able to sort out. The tradgedy in all this is to see what this is doing to the children who are now to be honest a total emotional disaster.
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