MichelleNeil&Mia

Thank you for all your comments This is exactly the mix of opinions i needed to hear! For the record, My relationship with my OH is probably the best it has ever been right now, we separated shortly after we arrived back from Perth, which was over 18 months ago, just for a few weeks, which given the circumstances is totally understandable! Luckily it seems what we have been through has torn us apart, bought us back together and we are stronger for it. I am sure deep down he will never forget how our dreams were ruined because of me, and i will never forget the guilt of putting him & my little girl through everything i did. But we got through it. So why rock the boat? Is it because i feel so guilty for making him come back, that i feel i owe it to him to try again and prove that i can make it work...? Perhaps........... I never said i definitely wanted to return.... just that i had been thinking about it. If it ever is the right time time for us try again, it would be a family decision, there's no way we would go unless all of us were happy to. It was never all about me and what i wanted. I was in a very dark place back there and felt there was no other way out. (Because of not having dealt with stuff here, not because of Australia itself!) All the comments i have had here are exactly what i needed to hear, For the moment, yes, the right thing is to stay put and enjoy the life we have, and i wont be telling my mum or anyone else anything just yet.....that's what you lot were for! Just felt i had to get what i was feeling & thinking out there and luckily, this forum has enabled me to do that & gain perspective without upsetting anyone close to home. Thank you PIO xxx

Hey everyone.... So here is our story, I just need opinions and to "get it out there" really We moved to Perth back in August 2011, we lasted 9 months :err:......................or should I say, after 3 months I kicked off massively and demanded to come home :wacko: and 6 months later we did! We have been back in the UK just over 18 months, broke up, got back together & bought a house and settled in sussex. I really struggled in Perth for various reasons, hardly any of which were actually to do with the place itself, and a lot more to do with me and certain things I hadn't dealt with before going...I just wasn't ready. But I didn't say that to anyone at the time, because I didn't realise it myself. Altho I really liked Perth, something just wasn't right and now I can see that..... i can see that I wasn't ready and there were still lots of ghosts I had to deal with back here, which thankfully I have and am now in a much better place in the old head because of it! Of course there were things we did wrong, who doesn't at first...? We lived in the wrong area, sent daughter to the wrong school which didn't help my not wanting to be there, but all the reasons we wanted to go in the first place, the weather, outdoor lifestyle, better opportunities, nicer way of life for our daughter, work/ life balance... was all great and I made some brilliant friends! I know its not the most perfect place in the world, I don't think that place exists tbh, everywhere has its own issues. But......... I just cant help but think I should have given it longer, ... and maybe we should give it another go? I had to come home when I did, to deal with things and realise exactly what I want from life. Which now I have done. However, being in such a bad way when i was there, in order to get all MY friends and family to back me in wanting to come home, (my husband loved it there, didn't want to come home, we argued A LOT and he was understandably angry at me for a long time!!) So I slagged the place off to anyone who would listen, as far as they are all concerned I HATED it there.... I didn't, I just hated being there, at that time, okay and maybe the flies! So now I feel ready...... only problem is, because I was so negative about the place before we left, having told everyone how terrible it was, people will think we are mad to go back... 1 person in particular, my mum. We had 2 years of hell from her before we went, (she was the only one, all other family were 100% behind us) because she thought it was "wrong", until they negotiated a move to Singapore with her husbands work. They have been there 2 years, (although have had many trips back to the UK , so weve seen them every 3 months at least!) and are making a move home for good in May. Because mum was so against us going in the first place, of course she was 100% behind my wanting to leave, and relished in agreeing with all the "bad" things about Perth. Now they are heading back to the UK for good, keep talking about buying a house nearer us, and how wonderful it will be to all be together!! How on earth do I bring up the fact that a return could be on the cards??? By the way, they are not necessarily coming back because we are home, although of course that is part of it. But I doubt they would have stayed in Singapore for good! Weve nowhere near decided that we will return for sure, my husband is understandably concerned....and if we did it wouldn't be for a year or so, but I would really like to give things a second chance, perhaps not forever, I don't believe that you can say anything is forever and I cant imagine living in one place forever (maybe I was a traveller in a previous life huh?) But I think we need to actually give the experience a real go!! I know I will get lots of different opinions on here, and I know I only have myself to blame for how I acted....at the time its how I felt, and now I feel different. So Let me have it POI am I mad to even consider going back, has anyone else had a similar experience and how do I even begin to bring the subject up with my mum.?? :huh:

My mum was in a really bad way when we told her we were going...... Being really selfish and saying horrible things, it really really got me down. I did actually post on here back in 2009 about it! This was how it was for a good couple of years, during our visa process, until once we had it granted, her husband miraculously got "moved" to Singapore for his job!! We lasted 10 months in Perth, various reasons I didn't settle. We did lots of things wrong which I clearly see now. The decision to move back almost cost me my marriage, not surprising the crazy way I was acting while in Perth!!!But that's another story! Funnily enough she was 100% behind us coming back to the UK (knowing they wouldn't be in Singapore forever and the fact they got to have lots of business trips home) regardless of the fact it might have meant I would end up being a single mum and really struggling! (luckily for me, we have managed to work through things and he has near on forgiven me.. :cute: We've been back 18 months now, they are just about to leave Singapore to head back to the UK for good. I am wondering at which point I throw in that after being back in the UK for this length of time and dealing with lots of the demons behind reasons why i didn't settle in Perth first time around and looking back & realising what we did wrong, that I am now thinking it might be time to start making plans to head back for a 2nd try??!! Something tells me it will not go down well!!:no:

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