tillyd

Hi just a quick update .... Still in the UK and I am staying put I am working very hard saving my pennies and have a permanent job and a casual job which I can choose to do as much or as little as I like. My social life has really taken off and I am happy. I'm still living with family but am making plans to move out shortly. My my assets are still in Oz as is about 15 boxes of stuff. Oh wants to buy me out but realistically I can't see that happening. He is planning a visit soon and we will thrash things out then. He has only mentioned getting half the house but I really need to talk to a solicitor on that one .... I contacted one in Oz but they never got back to me .... Anyone else separated whilst living in different countries? I'm at a point now where I am ready to move on and put all this behind me. I have taken my time but I felt it was needed, after all it is probably the biggest decision of my life.

Hi, it's been awhile. still here in the UK and I must admit that I am enjoying it more and more. I haven't been so busy in ages and I have met up with so many friends and family. The weather has turned and even that hasn't bothered me. Im still living with family for now. Im craving my own space and my own bed now ... But I know once a final decision is made it will happen.

I'm happy for you, nothing is straight forward is it? As you know I have return back to the UK by myself. My oh want to stay and is 100% certain he will never live back in the UK. So basically the decision and my own future is in my hands, just as yours is in your hands. Your oh has promised you after 6months he will return. Mine has promised me a beautiful new house if I return to oz. Why can't it be without conditions or insentives?

Thank you thank you, I thought I was going mad because I was angry about what he has done. His reason is that he has made a compromise as we still get to be in the same area (because I told him I didn't want to move to a new area as I do have friends to lean on if I was to come back - he wants to move to a new area). He says it a good investment and as I haven't given him a return date and I'm not there then he is doing what needs to be done and he needs to be happy, but he's not happy without me??? I have already asked him to retract the offer on the land/house so that if I go back we can concentrate on us as a couple without the stress it will bring .... The above was his response. I was trying to STILL trying to make it work as a partnership but his reply was about him Ahhhhhh, writing this down does make this clearer in my head and yes it does sound controlling. I think he was trying to call my bluff. Maybe I should call his bluff and tell him to go ahead and sell the bloody house!

Hi all, I've been back a few months now and I've in general is good. I am still on good terms with my husband and we have kept in touch throughout. However he has give me an ultimatum now, stay or go back to him. Everyone here is telling me to stay in the UK. But me, I am the most indecisive person I know. With all my kids and family here with me they tell me it's a no brainier. However, I do miss him and our home and life heaps. The downside is that if I were to go back then it would be to the same situation. He will be working away, at least until I can get a job.

Hi all, I've been back a few months now and I've in general is good. I am still on good terms with my husband and we have kept in touch throughout. However he has give me an ultimatum now, stay or go back to him. Everyone here is telling me to stay in the UK. But me, I am the most indecisive person I know. With all my kids and family here with me they tell me it's a no brainier. However, I do miss him and our home and life heaps. The downside is that if I were to go back then it would be to the same situation. He will be working away, at least until I can get a job. Another thing that has put a spring in the works. He went and put a deposit on a house and land package and told me after because it was the last block left and I wasn't around to ask ....

Well I'm sat in the garden in what is a beautiful summers day. I've just walked up town and everyone else seems to be enjoying the weather too. Today is going to be a chill day in the garden as I have the house to myself. I have started one new job which is only casual but that's all I'm looking for at the moment. The renting over here is a bit pants to be honest, I hate the fact of paying out so much money to just apply. I popped into one real estates and asked about putting 6 months rent down as I have no credit history and not in full time work just yet. I was disheartened when they said they no longer do this as it's too much trouble. I don't think this is the case for all of them thought. I cannot see me renting just a room with a dog, I would be worried about her barking etc. The good thing about being here is that I don't really need a car, everything is in walking distance. I have put on a couple of pounds with all the yummy fish and chips etc. so I am getting myself back on track now. I'm quite optimistic about the job situation, I have secured a role with the NHS which I hope will lead into a full time position. Both jobs were offered to me straight after the interviews. Shopping is all relative, it's cheaper but wages are less. One thing that I have noticed is the small town mentality, every man and his dog want to know why I am back, how long I'm staying and why am I here on my own. I just drug my shoulders and tell them I'm having some family time which I am. On the whole it's nice to be back. Gotta go now as my oh wants to do skype soon. With the time differences it's been very hard the last couple of weeks to communicate. Catch you later .....

Hello all, thought it might be time for a little update. Well I've been back now for a few weeks and I'm feeling more like my old self again. I'm still staying with family and I am really grateful for that but I am missing my own living space. After all, before coming here I had plenty of that and was on my own for most of the time. Seeing family and friends when I want is brilliant, I've even had to take a weekend off to recharge my batteries. I have managed to secure not one but two jobs since being back and compared to Aus the job market is quite good. I got offered both jobs at the end of each interview. I'm very happy about that. My husband is still in Oz, initially I think he had a bit of a strop and hardly tried to communicated with me. Now after a few weeks he is actively skyping me and telling me that he loves me etc. He is also trying to release some of our money to send over so that I can buy a car and put a deposit on a flat. The jury is still out on whether I stay or go but I have decided not to put that kind of pressure on myself just yet, it's early days and I need longer to make that decision. I'm just enjoying being back home for now.

Yes at home now I am staying with family until I can get a job. I must admit to feeling out of sorts and a bit of a burden as it feels like I am putting them out. Animals arrived ok. I on the other hand have come down with some sort of chest bug and bouts of coughing so I haven't done too much this week. Maybe all the stress is catching up with me now. I love that everyone stops for a chat and seem very helpful. Last week we had 3 days of none stop rain and everything seemed very bleak. This week has been better Early days so let's see how it goes.

Try All Animal Transport based in Logan. I got a good quote from Mary, she is English and very helpful. My pets have just been picked up today for flying on Wednesday.

Well I have arranged for my dog to fly out from Aus to the UK next week. I have just realised that I never completed and returned the application to transfer registered ownership. The previous owner has signed it but she also ticked ' NOT intended for export from Australia'. I have contacted the previous owner and they are happy for me to take her but I don't have much time. Don't want her be stuck in quarantine with issues. What am I to do? I leave on Saturday myself. Stress is an understatement!!!

Awe honey reading your post, it could be me talking. I have been living this situation for a long time now and I am heading home this week. What I suggest first is maybe a trip to the doctors to see if it is depression, this may be heightening your sadness. Secondly, can you see yourself still being where you are in a few years time,how does it make you feel? Can you live without you other half if worse case, he refuses to head back? i will be heading back alone, sad but hopefully my mental health will improve considerably. This is forum is great for getting things out in the open, those little voices that chatter constantly but you are to afraid to voice out loud.

I wish you well form one who is struggling to another. I too am hoping that the uk will be like medicine

Hi, yes we have spoken alot over the last few days. He is still going to stay, that isn't going to change. I am still going and sending sending my stuff over and the animals fly next week. However, we are not calling it quits just yet as we both know that this is what I need right now. We are just going to see how things pan out. We will probably rent the house out for now, until a final decision is made. I think we both need to life for ourselves for a while and work out what it is that I want. Ideally I want my husband but if staying here means being unhappy then it isn't good for any of us. I do like Australia and I'm not opposed to returning and we have left that open. I know that for now I need to be in the uk, whether it is for 3 months, 6 months or forever. Financially I am not sure where that leaves me. I will need to find work ASAP so that I can start supporting myself, I have his help for now. It's going to be tough and this week is going to kill me emotionally. So not a lot has changed apart from the fact that we are finally talking about it and we have left our relationship open for now.

Well head screw times. He is finally home and told me he wants me to stay, one week before I go. My mind is in turmoil. He finally opened up and told me how he felt. Aahhhhh is all I have to say!!!