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Guest Aldo

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Did you hear about the bigot who hates all things English? He makes a good living in the concreting business, because almost everything in the city depends on this industry. It’s just a pity that reinforced concrete was invented by W.B. Wilkinson in Newcastle, England. Our bigot’s home uses electric power generated by steam turbines, which were invented by Sir Charles Parsons. Many of his home appliances use electric motors, which were invented by Londoner Michael Faraday. These range from vacuum cleaners, the invention of Englishman Hubert Booth, to sewing machines, invented by Englishman Charles Weisenhallback in 1755.

Not all of his appliances run on electric motors, though. There’s his microwave oven, based on the magnetron invented by Sir John Randall and Dr H A H Boot at Birmingham University. Or his modern central heating unit, designed by Englishman A H Barker. Even his TV set, the brainchild of Englishman Shelford Bidwell, while its production depended on the invention of the cathode-ray tube by London physicist Sir William Crookes.

All these things reminded our bigot too much of England, so he turned on his radio for news from some country more to his liking. It didn’t help much though, because he remembered that satellite radio transmitters are powered by fuel cells invented by the English chemist Francis T Bacon.

He thought of expressing his frustration by writing an angry letter. But it wouldn’t go anywhere without the postal system, created in London by Sir Rowland Hill. That is, unless he chose to send his letter by e-mail on a computer – the brainchild of Englishman Charles Babbage.

Our bigot briefly considered getting away from it all, flying off to some remote place with nothing to remind him of English genius. But then he recalled that modern jet aircraft engines were designed by English test pilot Sir Frank Whittle.

He decided to do some home chores. So he thought of washing the dishes – but his sink is stainless steel, invented by Englishman Sir Harry Brearly. And some of his utensils are made of plastic, the brainchild of Birmingham professor Alexander Parkes.

Desperate to avoid the brilliance of the English, he headed out of doors – passing on the way out his modern WC, designed by Londoner Alexander Cummings. The lawn was a bit overgrown because he couldn’t bring himself to use a lawn mower, originally designed by Edwin Budding of Gloucestershire. That’s why he scraped himself, and was briefly glad that his tetanus shots were up to date – until he remembered that immunisation was discovered by Dr Edward Jenner, another Gloucestershire man.

All this contact with things English might well give him a heart attack. It’s just as well that he’s been fitted with a cardiac pacemaker, the invention of English surgeon W H Walshe.

Perhaps by this stage our bigot is secretly wishing that he could have a transfusion of good Anglo-Saxon blood. Well, it can be arranged – thanks to James Blundell, who pioneered blood transfusions at Guy’s Hospital, London. But whether that would turn him into a creative Englishman is another question altogether.

 

 

Taken from

http://www.geocities.com/endeavour_uksa/index.html

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Guest kazmatt

wow some great inventions by the british, just wondering what the aussies have invented, a kangaroo steak maybe????????? to slap on the barby which has no doubt been invented by the british.

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Guest earlswood
wow some great inventions by the british, just wondering what the aussies have invented, a kangaroo steak maybe????????? to slap on the barby which has no doubt been invented by the british.

I think a male Australian was the first to ever light his own fart with a lighter in a pub...since then they have travelled all over the world and brought this great invention with them.....I think that is their only invention to be honest...good though aint it...:rolleyes:

Aussie recruiting poster.

Lighting_Farts.ashx

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I think a male Australian was the first to ever light his own fart with a lighter in a pub...since then they have travelled all over the world and brought this great invention with them.....I think that is their only invention to be honest...good though aint it...:rolleyes:

Aussie recruiting poster.

Lighting_Farts.ashx

And you wonder why people have a pop at you!

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Guest kazmatt

yes great inventions, i am sure that an australian invented the toilet seat, but it was a british man who told him it needed a hole in it.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest smc01
Is that it.....:GEEK:

 

Can you give Australia credit for anything? Or is it your duty in life to put Australia down for all it's worth?

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Guest earlswood
Can you give Australia credit for anything? Or is it your duty in life to put Australia down for all it's worth?

 

 

You resurrected a 2 month old post of mine from the attic just to have a dig. .

What a sad person you are.:biglaugh:

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Guest Guest9973
You resurrected a 2 month old post of mine from the attic just to have a dig. .

What a sad person you are.:biglaugh:

 

Not a bad comment though - whichever thread it's on.:laugh:

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Guest smc01
You resurrected a 2 month old post of mine from the attic just to have a dig. .

What a sad person you are.:biglaugh:

 

Don't get ahead of yourself, I didn't go trawling for posts of yours!

 

Just had an extremely boring day at work and was looking through loads of different ones and - who would have guessed - it was something you wrote that got my back up.

 

I'm not the one still on a forum months after it's no longer relevant to me, stirring the pot constantly then when anyone objects say 'I'm just trying to help people' - what a crock!! :laugh:

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Guest 0405delboy

 

I'm not the one still on a forum months after it's no longer relevant to me, stirring the pot constantly then when anyone objects say 'I'm just trying to help people' - what a crock!!

 

How is this forum relevant to you?? :laugh::skeptical:

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Guest JoanneHattersley
Don't get ahead of yourself, I didn't go trawling for posts of yours!

Just had an extremely boring day at work and was looking through loads of different ones and - who would have guessed - it was something you wrote that got my back up.

I'm not the one still on a forum months after it's no longer relevant to me, stirring the pot constantly then when anyone objects say 'I'm just trying to help people' - what a crock!! :laugh:

 

Ok Can we stop having digs at people????? This was a light hearted thread - which lets face it makes a change in here lately!! LOL!

If you dont like a thread or someone who has written, dont read it!

 

Its that easy!

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Guest JoanneHattersley
yes great inventions, i am sure that an australian invented the toilet seat, but it was a british man who told him it needed a hole in it.

 

 

Sorry but that WAS funny!

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Guest earlswood
Don't get ahead of yourself, I didn't go trawling for posts of yours!

 

Just had an extremely boring day at work and was looking through loads of different ones and - who would have guessed - it was something you wrote that got my back up.

 

I'm not the one still on a forum months after it's no longer relevant to me, stirring the pot constantly then when anyone objects say 'I'm just trying to help people' - what a crock!!

Yeh,,,,whatever.........stalker....:policeman:

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