Jump to content

Complex issue with ex partner - mediation woes


jamesandsarah

Recommended Posts

Hi all,

 

We have a dilemma regarding my ex partner not giving consent to my 14 and 17 year old to emigrate and I a) need to rant and b) need advice!

 

Some background; (sorry... its a long one...)

 

I left my ex in 2002 due to domestic abuse I experienced from him. Contact with the children then became erratic. There followed a CAFCASS report which recommended indirect contact between him and the children. an INDIRECT contact order was granted in 2008 stating indirect contact only , 3 times a year (Via MGM) and that he should not make any effort to locate us.

 

We have not heard from him since 2010. My children have not had any physical contact with him since xmas 2004. I tracked him down 3 months ago to ask him to sign form 1229. He dragged it out for over 10 weeks and refuses to sign. Both children have messaged him via Facebook and he still refuses stating he needs to see them face to face to judge if it is in their best interest!!!! Both the girls refuse to meet him. He's even had the cheek to deny all knowledge of a contact order or CAFCASS report.

 

We took legal advice and was advised to attempt mediation. The mediators met with him today and from all accounts he has played the charmer. They then met with the children separately . This is where it gets complicated.... They spent 90 minutes trying to convince the girls to meet with him to reconcile a relationship. I had to step in eventually to say it would not be appropriate. I even showed them the contact order, the CAFCASS report and 6 years worth of legal paperwork. It has been left that both children have to write a letter to him via the mediation service stating their reasons why they want to emigrate!

 

It all seems so unfair. The girls are angry and upset and don't want anything to do with him. I know my ex won't consent despite the girls writing as he has already implied in emails that he won't do it because its what 'I' want. It's a continuation of the emotional abuse and control I previously suffered.

 

At what point can I proceed to a court application? Has anyone had any experience of going through this where an existing contact order is in place??

 

It seems mad to me that we are being held to ransom by someone who hasn't bothered for over 10 years.

 

Im aware that my eldest is nearly 18 therefore consent won't be necessary but my 14 year old won't be 16 for nearly 2 years - we can't wait that long as want to move over next summer.

 

sorry for the long winded post - any help greatly appreciated....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd imagine you should have minimum to zero issues being granted permission in this situation.... And I'd give you a big virtual hug if I could.... There are loads of past threads on such issues and the majority of people with children that age who want to go and the parent has shown that it's in their best interests are usually granted permission no problem.

In the meantime get yourself on reunite.org.....find a lawyer/solicitor who specialises in international child abduction /immigration issues and have yourself a chat with them about it.....i bet you come off the phone/out of their office feeling ten times better xx

Edited by jodipodi
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd imagine you should have minimum to zero issues being granted permission in this situation.... And I'd give you a big virtual hug if I could.... There are loads of past threads on such issues and the majority of people with children that age who want to go and the parent has shown that it's in their best interests are usually granted permission no problem xxx

 

Thank you!! It is just so frustrating... x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Good news I think!!

My ex has now agreed to the children relocating to Australia both verbally and via an email. He has agreed to sign for 1229. He is in Scotland and will be getting a JP to certify his ID. Is there any specific wording needed for certifying?

We are also planning to have a statutory declaration drawn up - for my peace of mind if anything.

 

However, I've been trawling through past posts and threads on here and Im worried that 1229 and a stat declaration may not be enough.

There is a contact order in place (indirect contact only) and I have residence. Do I also have to have a court order even if my ex has signed the above mentioned forms?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the form signed in front of a JP should be fine....but someone in the know will be along to confirm I'm sure.....they sometimes ring parents to confirm it's them who have signed I think.

 

 

Ive just looked at my original contact order and it does state I need leave from the court to relocate the children. Looks like I will be completing the C100 after all. Im awaiting a call back from my solicitor I used during the last case to give me clarification. Im hoping that now he has finally said Yes - it will be a formality only.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...