Kerriandcarl Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Hi, me and my partner told both of our parents that we was thinking of moving over to oz and we kept them updated with every part of our process. I think they have been in denial about it all because they seemed very supportive and agreed it would be a great opportunity for us and our 6 year old. We now think they have been in denial because as soon as our house sold last month and we got our visa granted I have had nothing but headache from them. Both our mothers have been Crying all the time (especially after a glass of wine !) my partners dad barley talks about it , he leaves the room when we mention anything about oz. I can see that it has really hit them hard and they are devastated. my sister is pregnant with her first child and she is upset we won't be here to see the baby. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping them updated with our process (I thought it would give them time to get used to the idea) but deep down I think they thought we wouldn't go through with it. It really hurts me now seeing how unhappy I am going to make them, although they are being supportive and are trying to be strong I know it's hurting them badly. I have this week felt really anxious and I know it's not about me having doubts about moving to oz , it's about me making my family so upset. Especially taking there grandchild. Anyone else had these anxious feelings? It feels almost like guilt. thanks I think I could go on and on ha xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Hi, me and my partner told both of our parents that we was thinking of moving over to oz and we kept them updated with every part of our process. I think they have been in denial about it all because they seemed very supportive and agreed it would be a great opportunity for us and our 6 year old. We now think they have been in denial because as soon as our house sold last month and we got our visa granted I have had nothing but headache from them. Both our mothers have been Crying all the time (especially after a glass of wine !) my partners dad barley talks about it , he leaves the room when we mention anything about oz. I can see that it has really hit them hard and they are devastated.my sister is pregnant with her first child and she is upset we won't be here to see the baby. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping them updated with our process (I thought it would give them time to get used to the idea) but deep down I think they thought we wouldn't go through with it. It really hurts me now seeing how unhappy I am going to make them, although they are being supportive and are trying to be strong I know it's hurting them badly. I have this week felt really anxious and I know it's not about me having doubts about moving to oz , it's about me making my family so upset. Especially taking there grandchild. Anyone else had these anxious feelings? It feels almost like guilt. thanks I think I could go on and on ha xx Yes. All those things have happened with us too. It's a hard one isn't it? My parents were also initially very helpful, then went through a phase where it wasn't mentioned for ages (even after we said we had our visa). After we said we'd booked our flights they seem ok again. My family is bigger and my relationship isn't quite as close as my wife's (most of my siblings are spread around the UK and my parents spend half their year in Portugal). My in laws have been sad off and on all the way through, and they are much closer to us all. Oddly enough we see lots more of them since we got into this Aus move business. My MIL is pretty upset now we are a few months away. We don't expect it to be forever. We could come home after 2 or 4 years. Unless we love It loads. We'll have to see how it goes. It costs so much and takes so much effort we ought to stay at least 2 years though. Either way we are going now. It's all booked and we sunk a lot of money and time into it. Not straightforward. Lots of guilt. You aren't alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Also - the other side of this 'not permanent' approach is that we will try and try and make the most of it. Hopefully this will mean that instead of being always being consumed with doubts and guilt, we can maybe do as much and enjoy it as much as possible. Then at least if we go home after this period, we can say we had a good experience and got stuck in. Seize the day. Recognise the impermanence. Not sure if that's helpful to anyone else, or makes any sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adele244 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 Thank you so much for all your replies and experiences. they are very reassuring and hearing it from both sides of the fence is very helpful. It sounds like many of you hav already gone through it one way or another. You never know, we may never have to have go through this (especially Mum) it if it doesn't work out anyway.......if it does, I am not looking forward to it one single bit. But until the Visa has landed, I will speak no more of it to Mum. Thanks again guys x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 And even though it is frowned upon by some on here, personally I don't see much harm in moving for 3-5 years, then coming back. It's not failure. It's just an experience. So if you don't stay, it's ok. That's what I think anyway... The only reason it's frowned on is cost. If you're financially able to take the hit, then go for it - but from what I can see, many migrants aren't that well off, and simply can't afford to throw away the $100,000+ relocation costs for the sake of a 3 to 5 year adventure. For most people, that's an enormous hole to punch in their family's financial future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 The only reason it's frowned on is cost. If you're financially able to take the hit, then go for it - but from what I can see, many migrants aren't that well off, and simply can't afford to throw away the $100,000+ relocation costs for the sake of a 3 to 5 year adventure. For most people, that's an enormous hole to punch in their family's financial future. It's a good point, and I wouldn't disagree. But I reckon you can relocate for half that (outbound) and maybe less going back (if for example you keep your UK home and rent in Australia). We have spent over £20k on getting out there. Some of that is visa related costs, and some is 2-3 months living expenses. It's still quite a lot of money. Coming back wouldn't require visa expenses. Obviously these figures mean not buying lots of nice new things like new cars, and all that stuff. But it's possible to spend less on possessions. But - as we are yet to move we'll have to wait and see... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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