Perths promises proving painful

[Marisawright]

I think that freedom you mention Marisa is coming from the anonymity of the new place rather than the place itself. Part of the reason I want to live outside of my home town is so that I can continue to "be myself" rather than the self my old schoolmates and family members expect or perhaps remember. Of course I am independent enough to do my own thing either way but a little anonymity does make things easier.

 

I lived in Bristol, London, Stirling, Edinburgh as well as my home town - so no, I don't think it was the anonymity. Australians - at least in Sydney - have a totally different attitude.

[Marisawright]

Never bothered me what the neighbours thought,here or in Oz!Who cares,seriously????I am an alternate type person,and really for the people who judge me for being that way?It says more about them than me!So no,no difference 30 yrs ago.My arguement is,people could say "Well I do go down the beach alot since I moved to Oz",but my daughter lives in Cornwall and she goes down the beach,so do you really have to migrate to do that?Ok so its not 35c-40c but its no fun laying or even walking on scorching sand.If I'm completely honest,I actually do more in the UK than my family in Oz.

 

That's fine if you can find like-minded people - otherwise you're on your own in a disapproving community, and what's to enjoy about that?

 

I agree though - when I read some of the posts here, I think people would be more sensible moving south than going halfway around the world, if all they want is better weather. And let's face it, emigrating with a family is going to cost around $50,000. They could have a lot of holidays in Majorca for that money!

[Aunt Agatha]

Everyone is different of course. I found living in London very liberating. People truly couldn't have cared less about what others were wearing or who they were with. I've never lived in Sydney but in Brisbane everyone seems to know one another so that freedom is lost to a certain extent - for Brisbanites anyway, I get away with being the eccentric English person!

[Marisawright]

Everyone is different of course. I found living in London very liberating. People truly couldn't have cared less about what others were wearing or who they were with. I've never lived in Sydney but in Brisbane everyone seems to know one another so that freedom is lost to a certain extent - for Brisbanites anyway, I get away with being the eccentric English person!

 

I found London the most open-minded of all the places I lived in the UK, but at the time I was there (30-odd years ago), the class system was still very much in evidence. I do think Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth are more like country towns in terms of the "everyone knows your business" syndrome, but though they may be nosey, they're not as judgmental as Brits.

 

And to give you some idea what it was like in small-town Scotland, my mother-in-law was devastated when we got a divorce. She said she'd "never be able to hold her head up in the bowling club again". And my sister, who's only a few years older than me, kept her divorce a secret for many years - conveniently, my father's health was poor, so she pretended she'd returned home to look after him.

[Aunt Agatha]

Yes I'm only going back 10 years or so, I can imagine going back 30 years people would be more uptight. Interestingly there is a very real "old school tie" network in Brisbane (which irks me no end) but as an English person with an identifiable regional accent it has been refreshing not to be judged on that before anything else. Obviously I constantly get asked if I'm Irish (I'm a Geordie) but it's lovely not to be pigeon-holed quickly as has happened in the UK.

 

I am really shocked by your parents' and the town's (at least perceived) reaction to divorce, I can't imagine anyone in my hometown giving a hoot though they may have done 30 years ago I suppose. We met a lady in Anglesea in Tasmania who had moved there 30 years ago after she left her violent husband. She was telling us that she was ostracised for being a divorcee and for leaving her husband, even when the locals knew the reason why. She stuck it out but was obviously still hurt and resentful at her treatment. Judge mental townsfolk exist everywhere sadly.

[Marisawright]

I am really shocked by your parents' and the town's (at least perceived) reaction to divorce, I can't imagine anyone in my hometown giving a hoot though they may have done 30 years ago I suppose. We met a lady in Anglesea in Tasmania who had moved there 30 years ago after she left her violent husband. She was telling us that she was ostracised for being a divorcee and for leaving her husband, even when the locals knew the reason why. She stuck it out but was obviously still hurt and resentful at her treatment. Judge mental townsfolk exist everywhere sadly.

 

My divorce was nearly 20 years ago, but my sister's was much more recent. I think you are right, the small town mentality exists all over the world - I just noticed a big difference between the British and the Australians when I first arrived (and I started out in country Victoria).

 

That's what started my comments off really - I was saying that people have this perception of Australia, and I think that's fed by the experiences of relatives - and those relatives are not usually their own age, they're earlier generations who are reporting what Australia was like when THEY migrated.

[fizzybangs]

I came out in 1981 and it was liberating in comparison to the gloom and doom of the Thatcher years and yes, to Brisbane. Boy, has it changed! Not only in Brisbane but in all of Australia. Now it is 'me first' that is important whereas when I came out everyone had little and everyone helped each other. Moving house, no need to ask for help as it was there if you wanted it or not! Going to build a fence was a community effort. However, those same helpful people remained acquaintances not friends as there was always an invisible wall if you were an immigrant. It was fun though. The Poms stuck together like glue as we have the same humour which Aussies just could not understand and that went two ways! If I was a newly arrived immigrant now I would be heading back to the UK very quickly! It is all so hard here in my opinion. The only place I don't feel that is in Tasmania which is fantastic if you can find a job! I am here now fir 6 months getting away from the Qld summer heat! We have been all around and through Oz over 4 years and I even grieve at how Karatha has changed fir the worse plus many other places we used to love. We spent a year back in the UK returning this last April. I absolutely love it there and so does my husband and we have a far better quality of life there. It used to be the other way around!