fourcorners Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Feel like I've been through the wringer this week. Basically we've been trying to get a job for my partner back in the UK, with a few sniffs but nothing concrete yet. Anyway a month ago I applied for a job. I wanted to show my partner I was willing to go back to work (our baby is 4 months old) so he could be a stay at home dad for a while and pursue some other projects (like he thought he would have time to do anything else whilst looking after the little one!). I didn't think I would be offered the job, but after the interview on monday night I was offered the job on tuesday evening, and given 24 hours to decide. After initially being really excited about it, over the course of the day I realised I was excited about returning to the UK, but not at all about returning to work. They had wanted me to start on 1st October which would have meant the next 4 weeks would have been crazy. I decided that I didn't want my last few weeks a a stay at home mum to be stressed out, and then once back to work full time. So, I turned it down. I thought of it in terms of this question: what would I regret more, not taking the job, or not spending more time with my baby? And as the interviewer said, jobs come and go, being a mum doesn't. I think I've made the right decision, but gosh it was hard. Hard turning down an opportunity to get back to the UK quickly. But in the long term I've done right by me and my babe. My OH still has some irons in the fire and we've seen another interesting job for him last night (though it's in Mansfield....). It's frustrating as he had just come round to the idea of being a SAHD but I just couldn't do it. He's been very understanding though I am so lucky :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Good decision. You did the right thing: it sounds like now isn't a great time to move with the baby so little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 You did well to get a job offer from here as most people find they don't but have a much better reception once there. However, you did the right thing. I too went back to work when my youngest was 3 months old but only lasted 11 weeks and decided that if I was going to be a Mum, I'd rather do it full time. So we had another baby quite quickly after that and another later plus fostered and I wouldn't have missed those years for the world. It was a career, a joyous one. One hint, do go to an area you really want to live in back home as it is so important when settling back to be in a place you love or close to those you love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 I know it was sod's law I would get the job offer from here! I'm not scared about moving with her, we've done 4 international moves previously so it doesn't phase me. What would have made it miserable was moving and then immediately starting full time work. For the Mansfield job I think we could just manage in a house near the peak district, where I have lived on and off for short periods and do love it there. And the job has flexitime and occasional work from home so it could be an option. Most of my family is in Yorkshire so not a million miles away. The job I turned down was in Cornwall where we own a mortgage free house, and we do love Cornwall. That made it a bit harder to turn the job down! But no, I feel at peace with the decision and I'm sure something better will come along soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 People come before anything else so imho I think you've made the right decision.Hope something materialises for your OH xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I agree that you made the right decision but it's very reassuring to know (for you and for us!) that it is possible to be offered a job from the UK. What do you do for work @fourcorners if you don't mind sharing? Hope your DH finds something great soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 I agree that you made the right decision but it's very reassuring to know (for you and for us!) that it is possible to be offered a job from the UK. What do you do for work @fourcorners if you don't mind sharing? Hope your DH finds something great soon. I'm a geologist, a tiny market in the UK. The post was with a university though and offered 10% of salary for relocation expenses too. I think that with government/university type jobs they're not so scared of hiring from abroad and doing skype interviews etc. Yes I hope it is reassuring that it can be done, I just wish it was my OH and then we would have booked our flights by now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Interesting work. This afternoon my DH found a great job in Yorkshire (he's a business analyst) so I'm hoping they'll be comfortable with the Skype interview etc. It's hard to wait once you have made the decision to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Just read the latest on this thread and congrats to both @fourcorners (you got the job! no matter you turned it down) and to @Aunt Agatha, guess this means you are now coming over? X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 @3FatCats the (loose) plan is still sometime between Feb and April 2015 but if my OH gets this job we'll be all systems go for November I'm guessing. It's frustrating because we need to wait until he gets his bonus in October to help fund the move so can't do much until after that. He's started looking at jobs in case there is a "dream" job worth missing the bonus for or worth undertaking a mad dash for and the one he saw at the weekend *may* be it. He doesn't think he will get it as he suspects there will be lots of good quality UK-based applicants but he's going to apply anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 Good luck with the application AA, you never know. I thought the same with the job I got offered so just goes to show you never know til you try. OH filled out the application form for this job in Mansfield - you never know we may end up living not too far from each other! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Thanks, it's always worth a shot! Is Mansfield near Nottingham? My UK geography leaves a lot to be desired, especially around the Midlands! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 Yes it's north of Nottingham, not the most desirable location but we've figured out we could live just inside the Peak District near Wirksworth/Matlock. Most of my family in in Leeds and Holmfirth so I would be up that way a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Living in the Peak District would be lovely. I'd love to hear more about Leeds please. Can you recommend any nice, family-friendly suburbs that still have a bit of life in them please? My brother went to Leeds Uni but it was a long time ago and I only saw Headingly really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 I've never lived there personally but my brother lives in Rawdon which is north-west of Leeds and not far from the Dales. They've just had a baby too and moved there 2 years ago. My brother is well into his music so he would have picked somewhere with a bit of life! I haven't visited them yet though. My sis lives in Hebden Bridge and did commute into Leeds but it's a fair way, but Hebden's lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Thanks fc, I'll Google Rawdon. DH wants to keep his commute fairly short so it sounds like Hebden would be too far for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 Update! Well the other UK jobs were dead ends unfortunately. But my OH is currently on his way to Canada for a site visit after a good phone interview last week. He also had a phone interview for a job in Tanzania that we haven't heard back from. Whilst our first preference was the UK, we've come to the conclusion that it just isn't happening for him at the moment there. Out of Tanzania and Canada we would prefer the latter as it's closer to the UK and we would be in a community rather than a secure compound! Site visits to international sites are pretty much unheard of right now so we're pretty positive that his trip will end up in a job offer. It's a long way to go for less than a day spent on site! It's also 8 hours flight from the UK, which means more trips back and more visitors. Our back up plan is move to the UK anyway and set up our own business. And this week I've had the excellent fortune of being told by my boss that they would keep me on for casual work wherever we end up. For a geologist in the mining industry, this is pretty much unheard of so I'm guessing I've done something right! Head office is Paris so possibly a few European work trips too! I'm sad about the thought of not going back to the UK quite yet, but I'm choosing to look at this as a further adventure. I had the feeling anyway that returning would have been too soon for my OH, in a few years he'd have wanted to be off again anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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