arlene Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 My story is that my husand and our 4 sons lived in Perth 18 months ago for 1 year, we totally loved it but came back to UK for family reasons. i felt that Oz is too far to be apart from my mum and sister (we are very close) My mother in law died when we were in perth which was hard for my husband and also my sister was diagnosed with kidney failure (she is well at present) My dad died since we came back and I was so relieved to be here when that happened. anyway the fact of the matter is we miss it so much I always wanted to live somewhere like Perth and I felt that we were living a dream when we were there. Now we are back it is great being near family again but I long for Oz all the time. I am a nurse so would get a job easily again and my husband could go back to his job. Finacially we would not be a lot better off in Perth but at the least the sun shines and you do not have to spend a lot of money. My mum has been great about this after a big guilt trip. She says she will live with us for 3 months of the year. That would be great but I am panicking about all the what ifs. My sister is very quiet about it all but she is moving down to yorkshire for her husbands job so she is doing what is best for her family. I also promised my sister if she ever needs it my kidney due to her renal failure!! My husband would love to go back and he was so happy there, my 12 year old son does not want to go back because he likes Scotland but I think he would settle because he was the st time! My 2 middle sons cannot get there quickly enough. I am sorry for rambling on but it is such a big decision, I'm scared we will get there and I will panic and decide that my mother and sister are more important after all. I know that my husband and children are my future but I'm scared that I will find it difficult living with guilt. well atleast the wine is cheap and I can drown my sorrows!! 20 bucks for 4 litres of lindemans chardonnay oh life was good!! Thanks for any advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kdal Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Hi Arlene and Welcome to Poms In Oz. You have done so much for your family already and if your heart is telling you it's time for you to go back to Oz then go Arlene! As you say your sister is moving on now and your Mum she is happy too, and why wouldnt she be how lovely for your Mum to have 3 months of holiday a year!! I met a couple in Adelaide and they spend 6 months in the UK and 6 months in Australia with their daughter - well thats the life!!! Good luck with what you decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Hi Arlene Welcome to Poms in Oz. You would find that your Mum could spend longer than three months a year with you if she wants to. Please see here: Tourist Visa (Subclass 676) Six months is considered to be the "standard product" with subclass 676 tourist visas. (After all, anybody wanting only 3 months would just get an ETA to begin with.) I can't help apart from this because I'm in the UK but I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. Best wishes Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jogrant3232 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Hi Arlene I always go with gut instinct. My Mum has said she would never come to visit us in oz as its to far but I say its her loss as I would have her and dad permanantly, and I know they would love it there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernie Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Hi Arlene, I really feel for you and can relate to what you are saying. We told my in-laws Sat we were applying for a visa and it was like someone had died, also I am close to my sister. I worry that I can have all I want in Aus but a year later feel so down about leaving my family. We live in hope they'll come over to visit. It's such a moral dilema but at the end of the day if you really feel it's where you belong you just have to go that's what I tell myself. You live your life everyday they don't and if you aren't happy here it's important you are somewhere you feel happy. It's such a sacrafice I know but if family are that close they will make the effort to see you. You only get one chance at your life so don't feel guilty about enjoying it! Let's face it we won't feel good about it if we go so we either live with that or stay. Hard isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 arlene, it's not as though you are taking a risk & don't know what you are coming to, although prices have risen in that part of Oz, it took me 5 years of heartache to reach the decision that it would be better for us & our kids if we came here, although I had my times with the guilt trip, my mother & sister are now deceased, so I would have been left in the UK wondering what if. I still have 2 brothers in the UK, we have more contact now than when we lived there and they chose their own pathway in life, same as your sister is doing, you are not going to alter nature by staying in a place you don't really want to be, things happen in life that we just can't alter, so these things are going to happen whether you are in Oz or the UK & you can't change that. I am old enough to be your father, I told my 3 kids to follow their dreams, as we only get one crack at this life, parent's just want their kids to do well and be happy, and I'm sure your mother feels the same way, my brothers wish they had come here now after seeing the lifestyle we live in the sun. My wifes favourite saying, if I get into a nursing home, I want to be able to talk about what I've done in life, and not what I wished I had done. :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest monty Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Hi Arlene, I agree with Skippy's post you ought to go for it girl. Life is not a rehersal, I can really empathise with you about your sister. Both my sister and brother died at the age of 32 both sudden and unexpected. Both my parents are still alive and I felt so guilty about wanting to come to Oz and hand on heart I still do. My parents have given me their blessing and are coming to stay. My dad had the opportunity to emigrate to canada when he was a young man and never did. He says he has always regretted it. I am very fortunate to have such wonderful parents and am trying to go down the path of trying to get them over here. I speak to them 3 times a week, and have an emegency fund to get me to blighty asap should the need arise. Ask yourself the question if it was your son or daughter that was in your position what would you say? You have my blessing follow your dreams; or no you can't go stay here, please don't leave me? Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Montyx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arlene Posted January 24, 2008 Author Share Posted January 24, 2008 Hi Everyone Thank you very much for your replies. It is really helpful to hear other peoples experiences. We have decided to return and I will try not to torture myself too much if all goes wrong. but generally we are very optimistic and we will give it our best shot. When I was trying to come to our decision I did realise that when my sons are older I will always encourage them to live their lives and i would definitely not make them feel guilty. The funny thing is that a lot of people take a long time to settle but I felt at home when we stepped off the plane!! We must have been really lucky because everything worked great from our jobs to the childrens school and all the friends we met (aussies and british). Of course now house prices are high and the interest rate but that will not stop us, I am planing on winning the lottery before we go back!! We are starting applying for our visa and I'm not quite sure yet to apply for a permanent visa to have the flexibility to work anywhere and any hours or get a permanent sponsored visa and have a job full time before we go , we will have to decide soon. Thanks again Arlene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest monty Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Thats great news Arlene. I also have a nursing background and debated whether or not to go down the sponsored route, in the end I went for skilled independent because of the pr and the freedom it gave me. Good luck Monty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arlene Posted January 24, 2008 Author Share Posted January 24, 2008 Hi Monty Thanks for your reply. I am definitely going to go down the permanent skilled migrant route, I am going to phone the anmc in the morning. Good luck with your parents. thank you Arlene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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