Dan Not Dale

Crisps

That aisle with pasties, sausage rolls, scotch eggs and ginsters slices in. 

Birdseye potato waffles

Cod fish fingers

People being able to park a car in reverse 

Crisps

Sport, that actually matters, being on at a reasonable time

Various swear words that aren’t used here

Supermarket breadth of range

M&S sandwiches

People understanding my jokes

Crisps

*I'm aware my list looks like half was done by an adult, and half by a child

18 minutes ago, Quoll said:

Did I pine for Australia two months after leaving it?  Nope.  Barely once in the nearly 9 years we were back did I give Australia much of a thought tbh.  I knew we would be back because I had promised my DH that I would and it would have been financially not feasible for us to have lived there (retired, Aus super etc).  I've been back 15 months now and if there were no Covid I would have been home for at least two visits in that time.  Meanwhile I am back in Australia, still not fitting and not enjoying it any more than I did the first time around. After 42 years here I still dont have the kind of friendships that I have in UK, some old, some new.  

Not everyone here is on a good wage, buying their own home etc etc - we have one son living in the granny flat - he has weird ideas so it is all his own fault and if he werent in the granny flat he would be suffering financially (we shouldn't enable, I know, but it works for us all) - his brother in UK has a lovely house and a good career, so it isnt just the country, more to do with the individual I think.  From the grandkids point of view - I am aghast at how much education here has slipped even in the last 10 years.  My 6 year old UK grandson is doing the same things that my 10 year old granddaughter here is doing at school except her handwriting is neater.  The grandkids all have access to lots of different things - not much difference there (they largely cost money - dance, cricket, swimming, circus) but whereas the granddaughters highlight is spending time camping in the bush with the occasional visit to the beach, the grandson is into castles and museums with the occasional visit to the beach (oh and dont forget the Mallard steam train!).

I was offered several jobs when I was in UK (couldnt work as being a carer) and I have been offered a job here too (it's who you know, not what you know) and I daresay the same would be true for my DH so I think things are to be found in both places if you have networks, know where to look and arent proud of what job you take to get you on the ladder.  

And weather - well, it's piddling down in Canberra right now which is really the pits when I need to go and collect the grandkids.  I loved the English weather all year round!!!

I do feel a huge relief reading your message, like it’s not me and it’s ok that I prefer other things.

I would take the museum and a castle any day!

Interesting you’d have visited several times, same for me. I always feel better about being here when at least there is a trip home in the diary. 

Did you visit home regularly whilst having kids here? Is it difficult/ realistic/ great/ bad/ all of the above?

1 hour ago, Bulya said:

I did a couple of years in Melbourne (military).  Without doubt the worst place I’ve lived in, and I’ve been around a bit.  Horrible vibe to the place.  

Interesting! I’m sure many of our observations are similar.

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

You're living in a large city, larger than nearly every city in the UK.  Like all cities of that size, it has some gorgeous suburbs, some nice ones, and a load of horrible ones.  Sydney is the same.  So is any European city of that size you care to name.  Live in the right suburb, they're great places to live. Pick the wrong one and even though you've still got the same amenities on your doorstep, it will get to you.

I lived in Sydney for 30 years and loved it. However, when my circumstances changed and I could no longer afford to live in the "good" suburbs, I left.  The "bad" suburbs are like a different world, not the Sydney I love at all, so I was better off moving somewhere else entirely.  

So, if you can find work elsewhere in Australia, my advice would be, try that first. Everywhere else, except Sydney, is going to be FAR more affordable for housing, so you'll be able to live in a much nicer suburb . If you're used to a smaller city in the UK, then see if you can avoid the capital cities in Australia.   If you wouldn't fancy Manchester, Brum or London in the UK, why do you expect to be happy in a city of a million+ in Australia?

Thank you, yes the idea has been floated many times, ultimately I think we remain in Melbourne as the other half’s family is here, so we at least have one family

and yes I’m from a town so I think the same as you on that.  We have started discussing towns lately, but we worry they might be painfully dull, basically the same as our suburb but placed more remotely. I shall have to do some digging through the forums to see how brits go in smaller towns here.

1 hour ago, Johnny Kash said:

I can relate to this, being one of these strange people who would still happily live in the UK despite being in Australia.

I always felt in the minority when meeting expats and they would always bag the UK and talk about how much better Oz was.   Whether they were doing this to validate their own decision to emigrate I was never sure, but strangely two of the most vocal 'Oz lovers" we met - one from Ireland, one from Scotland - are now both back in the UK and seemingly loving it even in the midst of Covid.  All the time in Oz I never met a single UK migrant who agreed with me that the UK was equally good, just different.

We went back to the UK in 2018 after 7 years in Adelaide only to return 18 months later.   Not because we hated the UK, I was earning $15 an hour in a warehouse in the Lake District and not even getting full employment some weeks.  You cant raise a family like that, most of the guys in that warehouse lived with their parents even well into their 30s!!    We also felt (and still do) that for a young family Oz is pretty much unbeatable in terms of stuff for kids to do.  We do enjoy the space here, larger houses and higher salaries which may sound materialistic but does affect your quality of life.

Even in decent jobs in the UK we found it a lot harder to save money, seems way easier here.

Despite this, one idea Im floating is for our son to do his primary education and early upbringing in Oz, then from around 10/11 onwards in the UK.   Allows us to retire in the UK, then our son can decide where he wants to be having experienced both environments.  Thats further down the line so we shall see.

The weather to be honest didn't bother us, I found the climate in the Lake District to be pleasantly mild (bear in mind this is compared to Scotland  even though it rained a lot

I agree, and think we have a similar viewpoint on  almost everything you covered there.

A salary will go further and children do have more space here, and as you say, although somewhat materialistic, it is and it isn’t, it gives you and kids a better life in many ways. 

And yep, you can’t raise a family on what you were on in Lake District. It’s part of what I’m currently thinking, we’ve left it late to have kids, will need to be next few years. I can see in 18 months if I’m back home thinking, I could be on $35 an hour for this, and I could look after my kid better, and I’ll be wanting to return here.

I also get you on giving your son some time at home too, I have planned this for my hypothetical child. So mum and dad can see a quality chunk of their life.

It really is difficult all this isn’t it! Nice to talk it over with others without judgement. I was fearing I might be given a backlash from the Melbourne lovers. 

On 30/05/2021 at 11:22, Quoll said:

Lots!

My son and grandson.  Walking around in history - love castles and cathedrals and their stories.  The weather. Variety in pretty much everything in such a small space - the countryside, the supermarkets, entertainment options.  Trains. Seasons. Food especially meat from our village butcher, not to mention his sausages. Wool shops and wool shows. The friendliness of the people and their sense of humour. The NHS. Decent affordable second hand cars.

Yes on all, especially decent affordable second hand cars! 

Hi There,

Apologies, could be a long read. I’m looking to hear the experiences of people who are back and forth between Australia and UK or those that have never really made their mind up.

A little context first.

I’ve been in Melbourne 7 years next month, based in Melbourne. Met someone on a working holiday. She did 18 months in UK so we could do visas here. We now both have a UK and Australian passport. 

I miss home intensely and visit every year, do 3 week holidays (pre covid). However, after 15 days I’m often ready to come back to Melbourne. I don’t know if it’s the stress of cramming everything in or the emotion of it all and seeing parents age etc but I’m aware I’m ready to come back often when I visit. 

Although strangely, I dislike Melbourne. The tv and radio telling us it’s the best place in the world on a daily basis doesn’t make it so. It probably is great if you are in a decent suburb, but we have little desire to take on $800,000 debt to be in a good one. The roads and traffic are terrible. People seem far from happy in general. Vast swaths of it are a complete eye sores. I’m often left scratching my head at supposedly ‘beautiful’ spots too.

Ive felt extremely lucky to be here throughout this pandemic. I don’t want to bash the place, it’s been great and welcomed me. 

My opinion has been that Australia is the better option because our salary is higher and house is bigger. I feel wealthy here despite a modest salary. I rarely feel financially stressed. That wasn’t the case in UK. Personally that’s where the benefits end for me.

When we go home and I walk the streets I am beaming, it’s so beautiful, the small tree lined streets, the old buildings. I can’t explain how great it feels.

Does anyone else relate? Do you change your mind regularly, will the beauty of the green tree lined streets be forgotten when I’m scraping ice off the windscreen in January before driving to work? Will I pine for my nice house in a boring Melbourne suburb when it costs me £100 to fill the petrol tank.

Does going back to a smaller house become an issue? Does it ever matter? Hose prices look absolutely mad across the south of England.

I hope I haven’t rubbed anyone up the wrong way. I don’t want to bash Melbourne. I can’t help but think the constant population growth is detrimental to its existing population. I don’t see it improving as a place to live.

I’ve made no friends here in 7 years so I realise I could be the problem. Still close with friends back home and I’d be welcomed back in the circle with open arms I’m sure.

Does anyone relate, do you fear you’ll want to be back in Australia 2 months after you’ve returned to UK?

Thanks, Dan