Marisawright

Finally, I just want to add my thoughts to the following comment:

The question is, why do you keep a cat? For the selfish pleasure of having a sweet furry animal for company. Is your selfish pleasure worth the death of even one native animal?

 

This is a spurious argument, as humans also play a very important part in the destruction of native animals.

That's true - but it's a case of "two wrongs don't make a right". We are already doing so much to destroy the environment, why make it worse for no good reason?

I should point out, I have NO PROBLEM with responsible cat owners like yourself. I have an issue with owners who deny cats are a risk to wildlife, or who (like another poster) says things like "I'm happy for my cat to kill rats and mice and if they kill other wildlife, that's life."

It's the owners who are always the problem, not the cats.

My cat has killed lots of rats and mice, the odd bird and one possum in its life.

 

I'm happy that she kills the rats and mice. I'd prefer she didn't kill the others but that is life..

That's life, is it? So you're quite happy for your cat and thousands of others to kill endangered wildlife for fun, because "that's life". Words fail me.

That is rubbish. A cat has a natural instinct to hunt and kill pray.

 

It is a natural carnivore predator.

Yes, glad to hear you say that. So it kills wildlife if you let it out. So is your view that it's OK to let your cat kill other animals for sport, just because it's a natural instinct?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-19353/Cats-kill-275-million-animals-year.html

...they also assume that you miraculously have more free time to spend with your family.

I've seen that statement coming up on the forums here recently, I can only assume they've been watching too much Neighbours or Home & Away, where everyone seems to spend half the week on the beach.

Would you stop a bird from flying too and keep it locked up in a little cage ?

The difference is, budgies don't kill other birds!

The question is, why do you keep a cat? For the selfish pleasure of having a sweet furry animal for company. Is your selfish pleasure worth the death of even one native animal?

Some people are trapped and unable to return. Kids/partners don't want to leave for example. Maybe to whinge is their coping mechanism.

Yes I think it's a coping mechanism and it applies to Aussies in the UK as much as Brits in Oz. It's the same mechanism that operates after a divorce - you have to convince yourself that you really are better off in your new life, so you choose to remember all the bad points about your old life, and conveniently forget the positives.

"You are five years old now and old enough to know that there is no Father Xmas."

Well yes, that's exactly what I try to tell them.

Not sure we would have come if it was like this at the time we emigrated. Very hard for people now, it is a shame. I think there is still work to be had, though, judging by the number of people coming into Victoria.

I must say, I was surprised to notice the difference in the job market in the South of England compared to Sydney. Almost everywhere we've visited, from Exeter across the country to Tunbridge Wells, I'm seeing signs in shop windows advertising vacancies for shop assistants, hairdressers, chefs, bank tellers etc etc. Of course you see those posts in shop windows in Sydney too, but they are far far more frequent here. It suggests the job market is pretty lively.

You can book the pool separately if you like, and the hotel charges in blocks of hours for the adjacent hotel room IIRC.

Depending on the time you get there, if you book the one by the pool in T1, you can lie by the pool during the daylight hours and then only pay and use the hotel for a block of hours to sleep.

The pool has changing rooms and showers, a bar, and it's cheaper. It's not far from the food courts so you can go and grab something and eat by the poolside.

Do BOOK the hotel though, you can't just turn up when you're ready to sleep.

The last time we travelled, I tried to book the transit hotel about three weeks in advance and they were already fully booked.

Thats not a good sign..its very important to us that the children have opportunities when they become of age..thats shocked me. Thats one of the risks then!!!!

 

I wouldn't worry too much about it - I'm not saying they'll end up unemployed, just that they'll have a narrower range of choices than they would in the UK. The main thing is, it's off your list of "pluses".

I was a "ping pong Pom" when my parents were alive, going back very two to four years from anywhere from six weeks to twelve years. My parents made frequent trips to OZ too.

 

Now, I've been back in Sydney for nearly seven years with no trip to England.

If you go back to the UK with every intention of returning to Australia, it doesn't count as ping ponging! Ping ponging is when you decide you don't like Australia and go back to the UK, then decide you don't like the UK and migrate to Australia again, then....

I think most the negative posters are really bemoaning Australia not meeting the lofty expectations they set for it from watching wanted down under or from holidaying in benidorm. Turns out you still have to go to work, inner city living is still expensive etc...

There are some negative posters who exaggerate, but equally there are many who are just trying to correct the "lofty expectations" of others.

Personally my blood runs cold when I see someone posting here to say, "Me, the wife and the five kids are off to have a wonderful new life in Australia, we're looking forward to a beach lifestyle, more time with the kids, a nicer house, permanent sunshine, yadda yadda...." I'm not going to keep my mouth shut in that situation but will try to inject a bit of reality.

We booked it for the whole time, because although we didn't sleep for the whole period, it was great to have somewhere to leave our carry-on baggage and walk freely around the airport.

We went straight there, had a shower and collapsed into bed, got up later and had a walk around the airport and a meal.

That was on the way from the UK to Australia - by the time you get to Singapore it is pure bliss to have a shower and be able to lie flat on a bed! Going the other way, you haven't been flying as long so you don't appreciate it so much.

Point taken, Jacaranda. I've deleted the argument because it wasn't helping the OP.

One thing that amazes me in the UK now is the number of people with central heating. When I left the UK thirty years ago, it was almost unheard of and something only extravagant people did (because the running costs were so dear). I remember jumping out of bed on frosty mornings, turning on the gas fire and diving back under the covers for half an hour - and this was in a newly renovated flat in Scotland. It never occurred to us to put in radiators!

Thanks to JohnDoe for pointing out the OP's original post.

http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/moving-back-uk/176823-back-leeds.html

Now I've got more background, I'd like to add more to my answer.

@jono119, I think it's great that you want to do the right thing about your financial problems. I hope you'll see a financial advisor who will come up with a clever solution to allow you to hand back the car. If not, it's going to take several months to sort this out, and you don't want to be feeling so awful all the time you're waiting.

So the first thing I would do is set a date for your return to the UK. To give you time to get everything sorted, it probably needs to be twelve months away, but make a definite decision on a specific date. Write it on a calendar and stick it up on a wall. Get yourself one of those countdown apps and set it ticking. Open a special savings account for your "escape fund" (air fares etc) and set up a regular savings plan. You may be surprised how much better you feel, knowing you're got an escape plan!

I assume you've got your citizenship by now? If not, get on to it NOW as it takes a while to go through. See it as the first step in your "escape plan".

Next, sort out your spending. You say you have an extravagant lifestyle - I assume that means more than just the car, so you should have loads of ways you can save money. There are probably heaps of things you've come to see as "essential" which are, in fact, luxuries.

If you're one of those people who tends to spend everything that's in their bank account, get your employer to pay most of your salary into your "escape fund" account and a smaller amount into your everyday account. Or, if you're one of those people who always pays by credit card and doesn't think about whether they can afford it, CUT UP ALL YOUR CREDIT CARDS! Yes, lots of people can and do survive without them.

What subscriptions can you cancel? Can you downsize your flat/house? Flat share? If your parents are still in Oz, can you move back in with them? Can you get a second job? Eat out less, drink less, buy fewer clothes, stop buying gadgets.

You may be surprised how much you can save if you put your mind to it.

No way, i'm definitely lovely and have a wide and diverse selection of friends across the globe, and I DEFINITELY notice the difference in Australia....Adelaide is VERY clicky

This is a good example of why you can't generalise about Australians. I've never lived in Adelaide, but one of my Sydney friends moved down there a few years ago. She wanted to retire early and felt she couldn't afford to do so in Sydney. She came back five years later because she had been unable to make friends - she said the same as you, that Adelaide folk were too clique-y.

You can spot the people who are going to struggle almost immediately, some even before they leave Australia. ( Should we bring Marmite? Heinz Baked Beans ? )

So true, and that's why I feel MaryRose02 is being unfair in having a go at the "naysayers". Sure, there's a few posters here who are bitter and twisted, but there are also people who MaryRose might see as negative, but in fact they're just being realistic. When you see someone who's obviously got unrealistic expectations, or who is already worried sick about missing family and trying to persuade themselves it'll be OK, surely it's sensible for those who've been through it to offer advice.

If if you're hooked on UK products, can't go a day without talking to mum, sisters and a gazillion lifelong friends, only watch UK tv, rely on others to babysit, go on holiday with etc and have only the one topic of whingeing about the weather then you're going to find Australia very hard.

I think that's so true. I was never that close to family - I already lived at the other end of the UK from them - so it wasn't a big wrench for me to come to Australia. And when I moved over 30 years ago, there simply wasn't the option to watch UK TV and no way to get British products, so I just had to start living like an Australian. I think that made it easier.

I doubt your statement that most houses in the UK have separate showers and laundries.

.

When we were flat-hunting, most flats seemed to have showers in the bath and washing machines in the kitchen. Whereas Australians (including my oh) find the very idea of a washing machine in the kitchen totally bizarre.

Not many native species around in suburbia where I live anyway.

.

How do you know? Are you out at night in the undergrowth with an infrared scope?

Even quite large species can be around and you won't be aware of it. One of my work colleagues had no idea there were wallabies in his area until he dug up his paved yard and created a garden - then woke up the next morning to find the tops had all been eaten off the plants.

If you declare bankruptcy, you need the trustee's permission to go overseas, so that could be a risky option. I'd say you really need to see a financial advisor to work out your options.

Maybe those who can't make friends are just not so friendly themselves? Just a passing thought....

I'm a fairly shy person so that's true to an extent - but as I say, I have lived in places where I've made good friends, and I don't think I behaved any differently there,so it can't be ALL my fault.

What evidence? Other than you just repeating it? The evidence is that there is plenty of wild life in Australia.r.

Bungo, you are usually a fund of common sense, but you're not making sense here. Are you saying that so long as there's "plenty of wildlife" in Australia, it doesn't matter what kind it is? So you'd be quite happy if a rare bandicoot died out, because there's still plenty of possums out there, so who cares?

We have no illusions that it isn't going to be easy.. We don't think its going to be the beach every weekend we just think in the long run after getting work and getting settled we can fit in and the children will have more activities to do and when they are older there will be more opportunities for them.. And if it doesn't work we can always come home, at least we have tried it and won't live with the regret..

 

If you're outdoorsy people then the lifestyle in Australia can be great, but forget the idea that your kids will have more opportunities in Australia. The reverse is true. They will have much, much more choice of careers and opportunities for promotion in the UK and Europe than in Australia.

Twenty or thirty years ago, Australia was the land of opportunity because there were skill shortages everywhere, with not enough people to fill the jobs in a constantly growing economy. It was easy to find a job and you'd get promoted fast.

Nowadays, there are plenty of people to fill most jobs - so work is, if anything, harder to find than in the UK, and promotion is no faster than in the UK. The unemployment rate is rising, too, as the mining boom fades.

And the big problem is - if you're living in Sydney, it's almost impossible to get a job in, say, Brisbane or Perth or Townsville because employers insist on a face-to-face interview - and if you're unemployed, the cost of flying around the country is prohibitive. Whereas if you're in Manchester, it's not hard to get to London or Birmingham or Aberdeen or even Paris for an interview. That means opportunities to find work or land a promotion are much better in the UK - because if there's no work where you are, it's a lot easier to commute or move.

Higher education choices are more limited too, because the population is smaller. You won't find nearly as many specialised courses in Australia. So, for instance, if one of your kids is good at languages and wants to be an interpreter, there are several courses in the UK but only one in Australia. And don't think he can just go back to the UK to do the course - he'll be classified as a foreign student and have to pay full fees.

That's not to say, don't come to Australia. If the lifestyle suits you then that makes up for a lot of the limitations. But the "better opportunities for the kids" reason is not a valid one.