bug family

8 hours ago, Toots said:

British TV dramas are always the best

absolutely agree.....also the comedy shows...nothing like the British sense of humor 

Just curious what you all do to help with those times when you get a little homesick (if at all) ........me I love watching escape to the country and have pretty much exhausted all Britain and British life documentaries from the brilliant BBC Coast programme through to Canal walks with Julia Bradbury lol , any suggestions on something else  worth watching most welcomed

34 minutes ago, Hellodearestlove said:

Did I read in another post you are heading back for a holiday?

You did indeed ... there are not many people I haven't told to be honest

On 28/07/2019 at 17:12, Hellodearestlove said:

Hi all 

I’ve been a lurker so this is first time posting. A little about my background - came over to oz in 2008 in my early twenties on a working holiday visa, met my now hubby (who’s Irish) and as the story goes we have ended up staying (citizenship a few years back). We have settled in Queensland and love the lifestyle. 

That feeling of being home sick has crept in every now and again and settles with a holiday home or family visiting. We both have ageing parents at home. 

Since my beautiful 2 year old was born it’s almost felt a little lonely, if I’m being honest I’ve felt lost. We have friends around and I’ve made the most of maternity leave (lucky to have extended Mat leave and hubby works away a lot) I said out loud the other day that I want to move back to Scotland and it now feels like my heart is set on it. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve lived/worked in Scotland and know it’s a huge decision for us all (husband is in denial, we have a house here that needs a lot of work before selling and 2 dogs that would come back with us) 

Anyone else similar with the feeling of wanting to go back home and any advice? 

Thanks for listening

Hi, Hellodearest love, I just thought I would write to say that you are not alone and there are many like us in this 'limbo' this forum is littered with 'us homesick types', I am the opposite way round to your situation in that my wife loves it here and I, unfortunately, do not and am homesick regularly.

I hope you get to where you need to be and that the road is not too bumpy, (I love Scotland by the way ) anyhow just here to offer moral support you are not on your own

Take care and good luck

16 hours ago, Quoll said:

Hope you have an amazing time! I'm in Wales this week (you won't get the coast path done in 3 weeks in winter LOL!) and having a ball! We've done Cardiff so far and St David's, today. Tomorrow we head to North Pembrokeshire to see the place that my husband's gt grandfather was born. He's never felt Welsh before but this time he's really getting into the swing of it and is proudly proclaiming his Welsh heritage when asked.  I hope you can reclaim your spark with just a sanity hit and that will allow you to keep your family together (its what saved me from wrist slitting for my last 10 years in Australia!). It may be that your compromise situation with your OH is that the family budget has to include a trip home for you every 1-2 years. I always found that having the next sanity hit planned helped me in the intervening period. You need to educate Bella, she should be tail wagging for you!!!!

Hi Quoll thankyou  ,  I am doing Cardiff and St Davids as well...I also love Pembrokeshire, I like the idea of a 'sanity hit', hopefully once I qualify I will have more funds and I can go home more often , I should have clarified I am doing the whole of the Welsh coastal route but by car haha I am not fit or brave enough to do it on foot in winter (although maybe stupid enough) hopefully I can start to get my spark back at Christmas time...best Christmas for a long time, tell your hubby to start taking welsh lesson he will be singing 'land of my fathers' before you know it 

23 hours ago, Amber Snowball said:

Happy for you but it’s a bit bittersweet isn’t it? Would you ever be able to afford regular trips to theUK to help you stay close to your children in Australia at least?

Anyhoo, have a super time. I’ve been back just over a year and very happy. 

Your mum will be made up!

Thanks Amber snowball, I am currently studying (mature student studying a paramedicine degree) and working nightshifts in emergency, but the pay is not great after paying bills etc, so it is probably not going to be a regular event, but! .......I have just over a year to go to gain my degree and if I get employed as a paramedic then that may change I suppose, .......I have told told my mum that she is getting a present on the 9th of december, but she does not realise it is going to be me...hope she likes her present lol 

23 hours ago, Toots said:

I'm excited for you too.  You have been hankering after a holiday for a long while.  What a great Christmas present for your Mum.

Thanks Toots I cannot wait

Hello all,

Just thought I would share that...........

I am at long last stepping foot out of Australia for the first time since we came here some 8 yrs ago!! ........I am going home to the UK!!.....long story short I have been homesick for most of that time and have never settled (read my previous posts if you are bored and really care  ),  I have literally worked for most of them 8 yrs but have not been able to return due to not being able to afford to and also not wanting to leave my children and wife behind.

However, this homesickness has taken its toll on me mentally, I had a spark and was happy go lucky when I came here now not so much, and my wife said I needed to go back and have a holiday and enjoy myself, but also to see if that's what I really wanted, as in if I want to return to the UK for good one day, (she saved up and paid for my flight).

She has been honest and is hoping I go on holiday and 'get it out my system' , but I too have been honest and told her that is not likely to happen, it is different for her though as her parents and brother are here, I just have my children and have not seen my family since we got here.

She has made it clear that if I eventually decide to return for good in the future, I do so on my own

But for now, at least I have three whole weeks as a tourist in my own country lol, I cannot wait!!! I am going in December as I love Christmas back home and I am surprising my mum as she does not know I am coming, I have done my itinerary (Bletchley park, Blenham palace, stone henge, lands end, Gloucester cathedral, Cardiff the whole of the Welsh coastal route and Lots of pubs, oh yes ) I love my history and old buildings.

Anyhow I just thought I would share this with you as I have been telling literally everyone, including Bella our Pug but she doesn't seem to share my excitement for some reason 

On 28/05/2019 at 22:24, thinker78 said:

It's not a competition. Personally, after 10 years in Australia, I felt I had done everything that could be done. I'm in no way boring. But I am interested in the arts, culture, history, walking etc. All things which there's just more of here in the UK. If you're outdoors and love camping and all that sort of thing, Australia is great. Turns out I have a child who is also non sporty and loves nothing more than pottering around a national trust property or going to a castle for the day. It takes all sorts. We all like different things. Some people are happy with a backyard and bbq social life - that wasn't for me in the end. But great if you like it. Yes, the UK has its issues and I worry but I'd rather 'live' and do the things we like than feel empty. Which is what I felt there. Asia has no interest for me, but great if that floats your boat. Children do well wherever, if encouraged. 

Totally agree thinker78 and well said,  I too have felt 'empty' here for a long time and also think that it is good for balance to see posts such as yours,  as it is not all sunshine and rainbows here for everyone 

10 minutes ago, Bulya said:

Now that’s rubbish.  A large percentage of Australians have passports and use them regularly.  I remember one Xmas I was the only one from the entire office that didn’t venture o’seas (horse ownership curtails many things).

nope...not in my experience Bulya, prior to coming to Australia some 8yrs ago,  I had literally only met one Aussie abroad in a brilliant bar on the Greek island of Rhodes in the port town of Ixia and that's having previously traveled through Europe, South Africa, and the middle east, however I had met loads of Brits abroad all over the place, we must both have had different experiences of life I suppose, anyhow make sure you get a passport for your horse and take it away with you next time you go away ....I hear Benidorm is nice at this time of year

2 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

I have to disagree with you.   One of the reasons I found it hard to settle back in the UK was that most people had never lived outside the UK.  Oh, they had travelled plenty - to Benidorm or Tenerife for their holidays - but they had never really experienced another culture.  And they'd never done a "gap year" either before or after university - something that was very, very common for Australians of my generation.  

It does depends where you are in Australia, I think.  Australians are not the same all over the country, any more than a Cockney is the same as a Glaswegian.  It's less obvious because the accent doesn't change as much, but it's still there.    When I visit Perth, I always get the impression that people there are less adventurous than in the Eastern states.

 

sorry, but you are talking about living elsewhere, which is totally different to traveling elsewhere, Bulya and I are talking about traveling, as for not experiencing a culture, I again disagree, Britain is one of the most multicultural countries on the planet! (far more so than Australia in my opinion) and not everyone goes to university Marisa either here or in the UK, most people just go on holiday as they cannot afford to take a year off to busy holding down a job and trying to survive, nothing wrong with Benidorm or Tenerife I have been to both along with many other places around this great planet of ours, every country has its uniqueness and something to offer, Benidorm and Tenerife included, maybe you don't like to mingle with us common people

5 hours ago, Bulya said:

I have noticed poms are loathe to travel.  A bit of a problem that, if you move to Australia 

sorry Bulya, I have to disagree there, its not a competition or anything but far more brits, in my experience travel than Australians, its only really the recent generations of Australians that travel anywhere,  for example, the second job I had here in Australia I worked in an engineering shop, most of those working there (i was the only brit) had never been out of the state, let alone the country and the thought of getting on a plane to fly to the other side of the world was simply a crazy idea

15 minutes ago, Kevo said:

Yes Ali  I’m happy to say yes woop  

when and where are you going Kev and whats your family situation like, if you don't mind me asking? i.e. kids, married etc...just being nosey as i feel very much the same as you 

15 hours ago, Jennifer C said:

Hi 

I’m moving in a couple of months to Perth as my husband is already there and has started his new job.

its very worrying to hear such negative comments like there is nothing to do?

we are only staying for 4 years so want to make the most of being able to to travel around when we can.

i am looking into different schools aswell as I have a 8 yr old and a 12 yr old and having very mixed reviews about areas and schools.

is rockingham a really bad area? 

There must be more things to do for kids than the uk? 

Any help please 

 

Hi Jennifer,

We live in the next town along from Rockingham in a place called Mandurah, if I am honest and just my opinion, I would not personally live in Rockingham, there is literally a beach which is nice if you like beaches (but after the hundredth time they start to get boring...maybe just me)  and a shopping center (which is what they call the town center over here) and that's about it, there are shops dotted around and a few parks with swings, and loads of houses etc but not much else.

Mandurah (where we live) is a bit nicer with a bit more to do and better schools (all again my personal opinion please don't shoot ). There is a debate over private versus state schools here, with private schooling being judged to be about on par with average British council-run schools, I would probably agree with this we send our kids to a private school and it seems very good, although it is expensive which means we are always skint, but at least they are getting a good education.

You say you are only coming for 4 years, does this mean you are returning to the UK after this period?

On the question of more to do for the kids, look the sun shines more here so you can get outdoors more I suppose, but in the hight of summer it is like the hight of winter back home, only the opposite way round, as in it is to hot to stay outdoors all day, there are activities if you look, but it is mainly sport and not much else, my kids are not sporty so it leaves them very little to do.

I am biased I suppose, as I am looking to return to the UK in the next few years,  as I miss home and do not enjoy it here (I find it very, very boring), however somepeople love it and would never return to the UK, we are all different Jennifer you may love it!, whatever happens I wish you good luck

Bugfamily

Hi Kerry, 

we (wife and two children 11yrs and 6yrs), have been here (Western Australia) for some 8 years now, being totally honest I have been homesick from the first week and have never really settled, (long, long story)......some weeks if you handed me a plane ticket home, I would have been off like a shot if it was not for (a) my kids and (b) I am broke lol

But I would never, ever have not given it a go, we sound the same as you and put a massive amount of work into getting here (took about 4 yrs all up and all our savings) we where virtually broke when we landed here, but we did make it work, my wife loves it and her family are here so she would never go back, me I cannot wait to go back one day, but this should not put you off from having a go, we are all different with different lives and different circumstances.

You need to go and give it a good kick and see what happens, at least you will have tried if nothing else and when the time is right (you will know when that is) make a decision if its to stay or return home.   

I wish you good luck

On 04/05/2019 at 20:35, Kevo said:

you start to argue with kids wife for hours at weekend trying to think of were and what to do in Perth,and in the end ,you go back to yep same place once again for the 10.0000 time

lol...yep totally agree with you Kevo..been in Perth for 8 yrs and bored out my tree

On 01/05/2019 at 09:31, Dennyboy said:

After 18 years and a split with wife and my son passing away ive decided to move back to the uk .

Im not usre how to go about things , rang the british consulate in brisbane and they couldnt have cared less.

Does anyone have a checklist or procedure for moving back ?

Any help very much appreciated .

Den

Dennyboy,

I cannot help with the list I am afraid (as I am still in oz, but will leave one day..hopefully )

But I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear about your son passing away, as a dad myself that must be terribly hard for you,

I wish you all the luck in the world

Take care

Bugfamily

On 04/05/2019 at 17:00, chooklady said:

The diversity, culture is richer and more interesting, less americanised.  

Totally agree chooklady, there is an obsession here with calling everything 'AWESOME' ......your top is 'AWESOME'.....my car is 'AWESOME'.....this area is 'AWESOME'....so americanised (i am not against america by the way) australia is in danger of losing its own identity

37 minutes ago, starlight7 said:

Fair enough- and thanks for your reply.  Not a good situation for you - hopefully the kids will be allowed to visit you if and when you go over there.Very hard decisions for you and I wish you all the luck and best wishes in the world.

Thank you starlight7

2 hours ago, starlight7 said:

Just wondering if your wife has any idea about the depth of your feelings? If not, it could be devastating for her and your children when you take off back to the UK, can you not talk it through with them?

Hello starlight7,

I have spoken to my wife at length and on many occasions, but she has firmly told me that its Australia or I go it alone, she will not compromise as her parents and brother have moved here, which I can understand in a way as she is very close to her mum, but it also says to me that I obviously do not figure very high on her list of priorities, which is a shame as when we came out to Australia we where so in love and very close, we are still good friends but no longer a proper married couple, the stress of everything has changed us (we have not slept together for years)....as for leaving the children that is going to be the hardest decision for me, they are still young (6 and 11) and I love them and would miss them terribly, but I also feel I cannot spend another ten years or so here waiting for them to get older and gain independence,  firstly I fear I would go mad and secondly if I can get resettled back in the UK before they reach teenage years they would visit and get to know the UK as a child, which I feel is important, as otherwise thry will probably only ever see Australia as home and I want them to experience what the UK has as a child, as they may also want to live there when they are older...if that makes sense , also if I wait much longer I feel I may be to old to re settle and gain empl;oyment, I am in my mid forties now

10 hours ago, ramot said:

Amazes me that posters can’t accept that places are just different. You aren’t going to find Liverpool in Australia it’s a different much younger country, with a totally different vibe, pointless comparing it. Fair enough if you don’t like living in Australia, nothing wrong with that, or being homesick for where you left, no law says everyone should be happy anywhere, but it’s not really Melbournes fault that you don’t like it. It’s just not the place for you. Honestly I’ve lived in some difficult countries, and Australia isn’t one of them, but I’ve never stooped to being rude about them.

errrr....not sure what you mean Ramot..if you check, I think you will find i was not being rude I was replying to CAN 1983, who originally was being rude and judgemental about the North of England, Liverpool and the UK in general, as for my opinion of Melbourne I am sorry if you disagree but its not my cup of tea simples,  I never said it was Melbourne's fault so not sure what you mean to be honest....  it was Can1983 that was making the comparison...as for living in difficult countries I to have lived in a number of locations around this great planet including Africa during the apartheid era, so i also have some idea of what different countries have to offer, I am not rude in the slightest just honest..sorry if that upsets you

On 19/03/2019 at 12:35, can1983 said:

is it that obvious

The problem with the North is its too cold, rains significantly more than the south especially in the NW and vast swathes of the North were well and truly shafted by their own strike actions in the 1970s and by the demon PM in the 1980's

So whilst there's not much than can be done about weather or the past the fact remains its a lot less appealing than the south to live and work. That is the reason for the north south divide. I can't even bear the south let alone the north that's why I live in Australia now.

If the OP is struggling with Liverpool its possibly because Liverpool is just one of those cold wet previously oppressed Northern cities which has tried so hard and done so much to improve its lot but remains, in my opinion, a place which is tough to live.

Melbourne is a completely different bag. Rich and vast sport on offer, great weather apart from a couple of stuffy weeks in the summer, ample employment, excellent public transport, great culture I could go on.

You see different folks different strokes I suppose.... I found Melbourne a soulless dull place which struggles to work out exactly what it is trying to be, sort of like a poor impersonation of London, if you count culture being able to sit around drinking your soy latte skinny decafe then its probably for you can1983....... me I prefer the character, rawness and cultural vastly significant Liverpool  (the beatles, liverpool football club etc) any day ...have a nice day 

Just to say a big thank you all for your input and comments, I appreciate the different points of view and advice, ....just got to qualify now  and then see where it takes me.....i guess my heart never left home ....watch this space

Hi all, hope you are well, ...sorry for the long post

It's been some 5 years since I last posted on here....5 long years  and 8 years since we  (we being wife and little boy) moved from the UK  to Perth and a rollercoaster of a ride and an extra child  (little girl) since then, what has changed well, I still miss home (the UK), I did so from the very first week!, saying that I was always 'one of them people' who loved going on holiday but also couldn't wait to go home.... so I guess now that the honeymoon period, where it is expected that after this point, say 2 years you know if you love it or hate has well and truly lapsed, I can say for sure that this is not the place for me, the mind-numbing bordem and lack of culture has litterally sapped my soul...it is like a wedding buffet...its all the same repeated, suburb by suburb, you could place me in one suburb then apply a blind fold and take me to another and I would swear I was in the same place ...its the same shops same sandy beach, same idiots doing burnouts in ridiculous cars (driven  by  morons who think they can drive),  Aussie football, bbq's, alcohol, drink driving all topped off with an unhealthy dose of methamphetamine (the meth use here is some of the worse on our planet) and scorching heat and not much else, day in and day out. (<---- just my opinion)

Anyhoo in the 8 long years I have had a massive change of direction ......originally we came out here happy and healthy  (never underestimate what stress will do to you read on).....on a skilled visa and I worked as a boilermaker, I worked in a couple of engineering shops and even the megabucks of FIFO in the oil and gas industry, I hated FIFO, yes the money was good but I missed my kids massively (away for a month at a time and back for just over a week), I had this constant ache of wanting to go home (as in the UK), combined with the stress of working away, combined with a wife that loves it here along with her parents and brother and never wants to leave...she told me that if I leave I do so on my own, ( I have no family or friends here other than my children) this all built up .......and then bang.......one day i woke up and my heart was not beating right, I was missing beats, I had to go to the emergency dept and long story short I was cardioverted which in lay mans terms means my heart was shocked by a defibrillator to put it back in rhythm, this happend again about a year later (it is very scary and you litterally feel like you are going to die)....ontop of this I was recently diagnosed with having an autoimmune illness possibly caused by stress, rheumatoid arthritis ..i now have this for life!!  and i am in my forties and came here healthy and happy.....(by the way there are no heart problems or rheumatoid arthritis history in my family)...I left the UK never having been ill...ever...I am convinced the stress of living here and the daily ache to go home etc  has caused this...but what is done is done ...so I decided to make a change

I gave up working in the engineering industry and have had a complete change of career, you see i worked whilst my wife studied and got her nursing degree and then I figured it was my turn, I got a job as an orderly in an emergency dept as a start, a total change from welding and engineering, I always fancied working in medicine...this job is a massive eye-opener and a great levelor.... rich or poor, young or old, they all come through the door, from all walks of life from all parts of the world, .....since working in emergency I have seen the good and the not so good and the really sad.... I have sat and held a hand of those that are scared, had a chat and a cup of tea with the elderly, been spat on and abused by those under the influence and even performed CPR many times in a resus bay and I am one of those who respectfully takes a body to the morgue once life has gone......working in this environment has brought into focus that life really...i mean really is to short...i see it every day...anyhow it is just over two years since i started this new job and change of career and what an absolute different job it is....so i decided to also go one step further and study and am now in my second year of paramedicine and hope to qualify as a paramedic in a couple of years time...as you can see a rollercoaster of a change in direction.

The reason for this long-winded post, well i see now that Australia for me has been a massive learning experience some good and some bad, I cannot change my feelings for home and miss it sometimes every day but, my new career should stand me in good stead for when I go back home in hopefully a few years time and Australia has given me that opportunity to have a change and i am forever thankful of that....would i have never come or should i say do i wish i had never come here......i would say probably not as i would always have had that longing to see what this life would have been like .....if i could have one more wish it would be that my wife and children would also come home with me, but i am pretty sure that will not happen.....which means I have another bridge to cross in a few years time, one that I fear will be the most difficult of all, that is leaving them here whilst I go it alone........have a nice day, take care and thanks for reading

 a horrible situation to be in ...... I am in the same situation only on opposite sides of the planet, we moved to Perth some 8 yrs ago  from the UK (my wife and little boy) and now I am getting ready to return to the UK in the next couple of years as I find it so boring here (Perth) and just not for me, however you have guessed it....my wife loves it and will not want to leave....it sounds like you will have to cross the same bridge as me ...and that will not be easy good luck