2tigers

I wish I had thought of the 'what if'...... I know its all in hind site now & its definitely taught me for the future.... I do hope this thread helps others to think before they just go ahead and 'do it'.

What I feel sometimes is that people move to Aus thinking its a good excuse for a new start, a new future for them to start all over again..... but what if??????? yadda yadda yadda......

Hope I plant a seed in someone's mind with this thread, its so easy to just get swallowed up in love and happy endings, we refuse to accept it could go wrong.

Im back in UK WITHOUT my child!!!

 

Trying to get a visa to get back out there to be with her as soon as possible.

 

One a good note, my daughter loves Australia, but it is so bad not having her with me..........

Jeepers, poor you and poor daughter. Why on earth did your ex not allow her to leave with you if your not allowed to stay in the country?

If things get messy or you want some free advice please contact this organization called Reunite Reunite International they are there to help families separated from their children, regardless if its child abduction or not. Of course child abduction and the Hague Convention are their specialty, but they can advise you or point you in the right direction for many problems regarding children and separation from a parent.

I hope Christmas was as pleasant as it could have been for you all, and I hope 2010 is a much happier year.

Take care x

Hi, thanks so much for this post!!

 

Sorry about your situation pommyoz!!

 

Im in a similar situation, as my daughter can stay here with my ex husband, but I dont have a visa to stay!! What a nightmare, I think immigration should be looking at something for out of ordinary cases.

If I dont get a visa sorted I have to leave my 10 year old daughter (who I have brought up on my own for 9 years), and go back to the UK.

Mad!!!

Yep, its mad alright! Sadly enough your not the 1st one to have walked that path either. Please seek legal advice ASAP. If your ex husband does not agree to your daughter going home with you, you will have to apply to the court for an international relocation on the grounds that you can not stay in the country. If there is no way whatsoever that you can get a visa to stay, and your the main carer, from what I can see you should be able to take her home. BUT it could take a long time in court and lots of money & I am not of legal background.

Maybe you could try to get your ex to do some mediation, which would mean you both tell your side of the story to someone trained to listen, and try to come to an agreement before it hits court. If you can do that, you will save a lot of money, time and heartache.

Also, not sure what the age is where the courts listen to a child, but at age 10 they have their own thoughts in my opinion.

Best of luck xxx

I feel you may have posted on the wrong thread? Or do you need some help with regards to the Hague Convention and, or, International Relocation?

Every now and again I pop on here, and each time I end up so sad reading about people stuck in AU and not able to go home. I wish Immigration would put a leaflet in their paperwork, explaining what you can and can not do. Its a law and its not publicized.

I still suffer with the traumas I went through back in AU. My court case lasted almost 2yrs. The trial was 12 days. I know I am one of the fortunate ones. My heart goes to those who can not come home.

If you are unfortunate enough to be caught up in the HC contact "Reunite" in the UK, they are experts in this field and are a charity. They gave me invaluable advice and support.

Reunite International

Best of luck

xxxxx

Now that you have read this thread and aware of this law, I would say sit down with your partner and discuss this if you have children or planning to have them.

Come to a decision that you both agree on before the move & put it in writing. With a solicitor if possible, at the time you write your wills before coming may be good timing.

If you can't agree on what future you want for the children then it may be best to take a long hard think about your future.

When buying a car, you check the whole thing over - its history, its MPG, its costs, its wheels, engine, seats, stereo.... every single detail, a lot is gone into making sure its the right decision! Same can be said for a house etc.

Unfortunately some us don't put as much homework into life, we tend to go with our hearts. That's when trouble raises its head. We even buy insurances to cover any potential problems. I went with my heart with blinkers on, no plan 'B', and went through hell when it fell apart, a huge learning curve.

Thankfully I am one of the few who get to go home. Not many do.

Its better to be informed than to go through what I and many others have done. I don't wish my situation on anyone.......

VISA's - do your homework. What happens to your visa if you separate? What can you claim? Are you allowed to stay in the country? Some visas only cover the spouse if they stay together......

It has been made sticky

You just made me cry!

Ok, stop it, I'm going now!

Please can this be made a sticky or is it too negative and real to life ??????

Please moderators, this issue is one people need to be aware of, and in making this a sticky it may help someone.

In the meantime, please everyone.....

Bumpity bump this thread when you feel the need!

I will pop on every now and again to bump this thread, hoping that it will help people sit down and discuss their children's future - if one of you decide to go home.

I think its time for a 'Bumpity Bump'!

Bumpity bump

Bumpity Bump! I stay away a few days and this thread falls off the pages!

Dear Mod's - can we have this thread or something similar to warn people, as a sticky?

It would be very thoughtful to those thinking of moving! Lives are ruined and futures turn into nightmares because of this law, people need to know! Its not going to go away!

Bumpity Bump!

I have been in touch with PIO via contact info on this forum, asking to have this post as a sticky for new people joining this website, hoping they will be better informed before moving country.

You are entitled to know how you stand regarding your children before you move, I would say 99.9% do not know.... then when they find out are in shock!

Please keep bumping this thread... thank you

Thanks 'Pommyoz', appreciate you telling your story.

I hope PIO members don't feel this thread a negative one..... it is not written to be so, my aim being an important thread of information for those thinking of moving here with children.

Myself, like Pommyoz, have been put through the 'run of the mill' with the HC and wouldn't wish it on an enemy.

Hi there Pommyoz,

I am so sorry you have had to go through this, its the worst nightmare imaginable.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Please everyone, please discuss this before you come. There are many many couples who separate once over here then obviously want to go home, but can't. The rest of their lives are here in Australia, no choice, never to go home again unless they leave their children.

I will be bumping this thread every now and again.

It would be nice if PIO put this as a sticky? It can not be ignored.

Thanks for reading.

Bumpity Bump!

Just to note, this is not a law just for Australia, it is world wide and majority of countries around the world are members of the "Hague Convention" law (at least 65 nations are members).

Even if the scenario was Spain, and you took a child back to the UK, it would be child abduction and they would be sent back to Spain under the "Hague Convention"!

The 'Left behind' parent gets all their legal fees paid for by the convention until they are returned.

Please, please, please discuss this law with your partner & anyone you know who has children, thinking of moving to another country..... it is better to be informed, try and come to a joint agreement before you go, then get it in writing!

You need to do this for your children! Putting your dream to one side a moment, your children are the ones who it would affect & be torn.... more important than a dream I would say!

If I can help one family from going through this I will be pleased .....

Bumpitty bump......

great post

but isn't this one of those issues that you cant sort out before it happens because you can't truly know how everyone involved will react and break ups aren't normally rational

Very true. So many scenario's. To be informed is better than to not know. Moving to the other side of the world is a huge decision. One that unfortunately, many of us dismiss the very thought of a breakdown in our choice of life partner.

Unfortunately it does happen, to the strongest of marriages. The stresses/new life/new jobs/new friends/affairs - no life/no job/no friends/no extended family/isolation, all can contribute to breakdowns in what initially was a fantastic idea.

I am happy I wrote this now, I was very unsure of how to put it!

There are some who have been through this who have tried to get immigration to add a leaflet to their package to warn people..... they only ever promote the good!

I do hope non of you go through this, but it does happen, and there are lots and lots of us that have been dragged through it!

If you are thinking of moving to Australia with children I would advise this....

Or even - if your in Australia and wish to take your children home to the UK to live.....

Sit down and discuss what you would both like to happen with your children if your dream of living in Australia isn't what you expected/you separate/in the event one of you chooses to go back home? Too many scenarios to note all - you get the jist!

Do you

a) Children stay with Mother, regardless of where she chooses to live?

b) Children stay with Father, regardless of where he chooses to live?

c) You both stay in Australia so the children can have both parents?

d) You both go back home to the UK?

e) May have other thoughts!

Did you know this? Once you have both made the decision to move to Australia, as soon as you land - the Children are now residents of Australia?

If one of you decided to go back home, you will need your partners permission to take the children, yes - even if ALL of you were born and have lived your whole lives in the UK.

If you leave & take the children with you, without the other parents permission, regardless of your circumstances (eg..separated, no money, no house, no job, Isolation etc etc), and the stay behind parent pursues you -

- You may have the police knocking on your door in the UK, you may be charged with child abduction. Yes, even if the child was born and raised in the UK. You would have broken a law called the 'Hague Convention'.

Once the police come knocking you may then be summoned to court under the Hague Convention, and more than likely (99%) the children will be ordered back to Australia.

Then once in Australia you will then have to go through the courts in Australia to apply to have your child/ren relocate with you back to the UK! And you may not win.

Long winded I know, but this is a law that is not mentioned in many places. This is a law that those tempting 'Move to Australia for a better life' TV programs etc don't mention, this is a law that the Immigration don't mention. Its a law people have never heard of unless it happens to them. This happens to many people each year, and is something that I believe people need to know about in case it happens to them, or they know someone who it may affect.

Take precautions before the move, talk about the children's future's, and get it in writing with a Solicitor!

Take a good look at your visa restrictions - are you coming due to your Spouse's trade? Whats the restrictions on the other parents visa if you separate within the 1st 2 yrs?

Doing this may save you years within the legal system, over $150,000 in costs, your children's mental wellbeing, health, stress, poverty and years wasted.

I hope this post helps someone.