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PIO speilling and gammer 101


Guest guest36762

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Guest guest36762
Agree ks,................PEDANTIC and POMPOUS,two of my fav words:biggrin:,along with CUMQUAT:wideeyed:

 

A greed, mr pable. I arsepire to all thre off those atribeauts.

Back at the uny in Lution, my lecherer told mee that I wood won day be come the moist petantric and pompus count in all of the no'ne univearse. this ,was off coarse, befour he fisted mee yet agane

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Guest guest36762

Hi Guys!!!

mainy, mainy thanks four all off you'er suppurative commence. Un fortuntly, I have today recieved a emale from my emploier at the British Counsel. Pleese exuse the speilling, its' abyssmal!!

 

'Dear Mr Harpo,

 

Many thanks for your interest in our role as Spelling and Grammar Tsar for British expats using online forums. Yes we did receive all of your letters, calls and emails checking up to see if we had looked at your application. Yes we did look through your 47 page résumé which was, quite frankly, the most ill-conceived ill-informed and un-educated load of piffle ever cobbled together since the famous 'sexed up' dossier which was used as a pretext for the invasion of Iraq. We should know.

It has also been noted that you have been fraudulently masquerading on Pomsinoz.com as the 'in post' Tsar for the last few days.

Please take this email as confirmation that you have not been successful in your application, and also that, if you contact us again here at the British Council by any means whatsoever (carrier pigeon included), you will arrested for being the most irritating little pratt since Frank Spencer.

 

Good day,

 

 

Sir Menzies Smythe Chumley'

 

Well, needles too say, I got strait on to the p'hone and ghave him what four.

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Guest guest36762

good knews today!!

 

I was give'n a job as the knew editer in cheef off the 'Geelouing Ecco', a knew pubiclation aymed at helping poepel with dsylxeia and issues off sperling and grammer. The own-er, a man call'd Braydon Hayden sent mee thiss emale this moaning

 

dear mr harpoon,

 

it is with grate pleaser that I am aybel too ofer you the roll as knew editer n chef off mye knew weakly knewspaper, maid bye dslyexsc peaploe four dsyailxec peepol too arse-ist they're Reading.

Can ewe start on Tuseday?

Iff soe,

C.U. Next Tuseday

 

Bryadin

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Guest guest36762
congwatulashuns......;;"""..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

thnkas!!

 

do ewe werk they're to??

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Guest Guest16631

sokay..............wudn'''t mploy. me sed i coodnt ; spel..............!!!"""? ...................:rolleyes:

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Guest guest36762
sokay..............wudn'''t mploy. me sed i coodnt ; spel..............!!!"""? ...................:rolleyes:

 

what a bunch of fnukcig tuncs

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Guest guest36762
fanks... dis fred as med me laff somat cronic dinnit... :biglaugh:

 

thas't grate. Im policed four ewe, that ewe lik mye post. but Wots' so foney?

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Guest Guest16631

dunt b gweedy.........................ull git gurts ake......................:tongue::biglaugh:

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Guest guest36762
dunt b gweedy.........................ull git gurts ake......................:tongue::biglaugh:

 

your write!

 

I really lik cho-clit and caunt get enuff off it, I cood Gorbel cho-clit al day evry day.

mye wiff lapels mee a cho-clitaholic!!

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Guest Guest16631

karefill...................:embarrassed:................eyes ann inercint annd av mebe red thart rung hupfuly..............

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Guest guest36762
karefill...................:embarrassed:................eyes ann inercint annd av mebe red thart rung hupfuly..............

 

owe, appleogies four righting anything witch cood bee take'n the rong way.

Eye must bee verry carefill not too at-ract the intention off the mood-raters

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Guest guest36762
sorerite......................mus ta bin yur spelun....................:biglaugh:

 

Iv'e just re red the emale from Breydin Haydon and think-ing a bout it abit moore, He seams too bee imp lying that im' dslcexiy. The cheaky ercukf!!!

 

Know won seams too take mye fist class dergree from the Unyversity off Luton cereally!!

 

I haff juste recieved this late-st emale form the fell owe form the British Councel;:cry:

 

Dear Mr Harpodom

 

Unfortunately you did not heed my threat of imprisonment for your crimes against spelling, and have continued to give my staff grief with your persistent emails, phonecalls, texts and letters (we even received a letter bomb which had to be re- directed numerous times because Australia Post couldn't decipher the address), none of which make any bloody sense!

 

Let me make it clearer: gte fkeucd yuo mroon!

 

Yours,

 

 

Sir Menzies Smythe Chumley

 

 

 

 

well, some people, they can be so rude!

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Guest Guest16631

fooels nd edyats..................fooels nd edyats...................carnt saye ut enuff.................fooels nd edyats..............fooels nd edyats :yes:

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Guest guest36762
fooels nd edyats..................fooels nd edyats...................carnt saye ut enuff.................fooels nd edyats..............fooels nd edyats :yes:

 

 

Yeh Eye totlly arguee, hoo?

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Guest Guest16631

fooels nd edyats....................fooels nd edyats...................eye jist tald ya.!!!;;:rolleyes:

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Guest Guest16631

warts wrung wiv yer ?>> defv.......................i gort yur thiz sine...............ownle a fuw mesteaks............ere av ut...................... [ATTACH]3000[/ATTACH] moite elp ve cors.............

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Guest guest36762
warts wrung wiv yer ?>> defv.......................i gort yur thiz sine...............ownle a fuw mesteaks............ere av ut...................... [ATTACH]3000[/ATTACH] moite elp ve cors.............

 

gould sine, wots' rong withit?

I carnt' sea any miss steaks? well a part form ther fact that IT shood reed I.T.

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Guest Guest16631

engrish...................engrish .............iz spet wrung......are rangridge veyv purt an l................and ar......ar..............noyt our....................iz yu bloind ';./?

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use needin too reedmur ere i well len yer thiz booc...............Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

 

 

 

Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits,

 

and shivelling shot.

besst reed ther res yursel runne barcer rit ert..........................................an rich burts didn yur gurt n larst poest/.?

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Guest guest36762

mourning guise!

 

I'me back!!!!

 

I went on-a sabbathical, four for weaks. Wares' alll mye frends?

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