Emptiness

[RoseBrown1972]

I'm in a similar situation, hubby wants to stay and I want to leave. I've done just over 3 years in perth now and not liking it was pretty instant. He liked it here but also got what wasn't right, and that the lifestyle isn't all that it promised. About 18 months ago he said we could return home but he wanted savings so we went back secure as here right now we are in a good place financially, what he wanted meant 3 years of hardcore saving although we both agreed on still having holidays. It meant we went from doing what we wanted to staying in a lot, not helped by being dropped by most friends when we said we were going home. That was hard, more so for him as I had the motivation of wanting to go home. Then just over a year ago he got a new job that he now loves. They also are very social which he's never had a work before so its all beers after work with no notice that he'll be 3 hours or more late home. This made it extra hard as he's never been the type of hubby who did all the pints after work thing or days out playing golf, on top of a 60 hours week which means even though I go the gym a lot most days I'm waiting on him coming home as it is without the drinks.

We went home for Christmas and based on the last trip back where he said we'd never return lots of people asked what changed his mind, at first it was because I love her and don't want her unhappy but very quickly with a few less subtle friends comments turned into I'm not ready to return. Mainly down to his job and the weather! So I went on holiday with 18 months left and returned with no end in sight!

What I was getting too was that he too expects me to just forget about going home and get on with life here to see if I can turn it around, he wants no plan on time to just see. I don't see how I can turn it around, apart from for our marriage I don't want to. But I don't feel perth has anything more to offer, in the interests of trying I got some whats on guides and looked for last weekend and future and found nothing I want to do that would make me stay. He says replace whats missing with something new, but the replacement has to be better for that to work and again thats not here!

He also wants to plan for our security and retirement which I get, he talks about buying a home and that being an investment if we do leave. But I see a lot of these need to be made when we know where we will be staying, thankfully I seem to have convinced him that any investment here will hamper us if we return to UK and that this is not a decision that can drag on years, so he's finally realized that we are talking about a decision in the next 12months which I can live with

[Helz980]

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time too rosebrown! It's so hard when one part of the couple loves it here & the other doesn't!!

 

I haven't posted for a bit because I've been trying to get my head in the game! My doctor has referred me for counselling as she thinks that the trauma I went through with losing twins & Olivia's early birth needs to be tackled. She also thinks that I need to stop feeling guilty for wanting to go home & that by Paul saying I'd be splitting up our family if I return home is blackmail. Anyway I've been keeping myself active & busy which I do anyway but unfortunately that emptiness in my stomach remains. So I'm kinda looking at the time (6 months) as my notice period! So will take advantage of what oz has to offer whilst planning on getting home.

 

Thabks everyone for listening xx