Hello Jade and all,
Ah, I feel you.
I've been ping-ponging to and from Sydney since 2007. First time was I met an Australian guy, that didn't work out and I had to move home, kicking and screaming I was but then at the time I was 27. Life seemed 'lighter' I was having so much fun in Sydney (when Sydney was fun!) both my parents were alive etc. Now I find myself back in Sydney, my now husband got sponsored out here (we're both British) and things have changed alot for me.
We both have good jobs (I work for a Uni and he works for bank) we have a great lifestyle, we live in a nice part of town, we have everything except we have nothing. Because no matter how much I write a pros and cons list, you can't argue a 'feeling' and I feel a huge sense of isolation and boredom in Sydney/Australia in general. But not only that, I'm hankering for my roots and to feel that I'm back where I belong - I'm not saying that either country is better or worse - the UK is in a terrible state at the moment! But you can try and rationalise all you like, I just don't feel like I belong in Sydney anymore. I miss my mum so much - she's in her mid 70s and has had one illness after the other. You never get that time back. I know I will get home and there will be things I will miss about being here (the light for one thing) and the food. But that doesn't exactly feed your soul does it?
Its so hard, I think we all have a hankering for something we don't have, and its normal. Perhaps we accept that wherever we are, a part of us will be somewhere else. But I feel at this stage in my life, where my husband and I are trying for babies, I want to be surrounded by old friends and family. And have that sense of belonging that Sydney can never provide. Life is shiny here, it gives me a lot of pleasure, but does it make me happy and content? No, not like a day down the pub with friends you've known for most of your life. A day with family. I feel like life is shallow here. Surface level stuff. Does that make sense?
I feel for you all. Its not easy.
I hope you all find your place
Sammy
