Manc_in_Melb

Good luck!

I suppose in a way, it just comes to my being lonely, even though I'm surrounded by people. Yeah, I know. Australia has been good to me; it gave me a chance to start again in a way, to reinvent myself. I realise that we're pretty fortunate. I guess I'm just thinking about the fact that, if I feel this way now, how will I feel as the years go by? I want to be a happy and positive person for the boys and I'd prefer it to not be an act, if you know what I mean. Yep, I know exactly what you mean. It's hard though, I'm so used to having contact with them. Have done for 20 years. It would be weird to scale it back. I guess I could try to not focus on it so much.

Yeah, that would probably help. It does seem like work, work, and more work at the moment. Hopefully some time off over Christmas will help.... and I do have a couple of friends coming out over NY, so that might take the edge off :-) :-D

Hi guys, I'm under no illusions that, if we moved back, it would be out for beers and curry every night of the week. My friends and I still keep in touch most days (the magic of Skype and Whatsapp!) and a few of them have come out to visit, as well as some of us meeting up for holidays in Asia. Granted, all of those meetings have occurred when someone (either us or them) has been on holiday, so it's obviously different to day-to-day life but I think that the relationships are still strong. That said, I think I'm coming to the realisation that it's probably too much to put everyone through just so I can have my friends around, enjoy sarcasm again, have nice country walks, watch football at reasonable times etc. etc. Pretty selfish of me. It would be a lot of disruption for the boys especially. We moved around a lot when I was a kid and I'm conscious that it can be quite stressful. I suppose it would also set us back financially. I guess I'll just have to try to keep some perspective, remember who I'm doing it for and try not to become resentful...

Thanks for the replies, guys. Quoll - I do have Aussie citizenship, so that's not an issue. My wife doesn't have any UK ancestry, so a spouse visa would be required. I'm sure I read somewhere that, if one parent is British, then you still get all applicable child benefits? I have to research the visa situation a bit more, though I know from media reports and the like that it's pretty onerous these days. I'm 90% confident that I could arrange UK employment from Australia that easily satisfies the financial requirements, so hopefully it wouldn't be too much of an issue for us. Snifter, Skani - I get back once every couple of years on average. You know what it's like though - it's such a long way that it's only worth going if you're going for a few weeks and saving up that kind of leave is tricky unless you have zero days off through the year. It had also crossed my mind that my wife might not necessarily make friends with my friends or their partners. They've obviously met but it's been in short bursts of a few days here and there. It's also crossed my mind that I might not want to come back once we're over there "for a while" - not sure what I'd do in that situation. We do have a holiday pencilled in for September 2019 for a wedding, so could potentially do a recce at that point. We have a pretty stable and secure position here - a house that we like and have a reasonable mortgage on, my job is secure and pays well (though it's stressful quite often), we have support from my wife's family with the boys. Moving back would certainly make things uncertain - we'd have to rent, we'd have less support with the boys, different education systems and school age brackets, Brexit, air pollution etc. etc. On the flipside though, I would have more work-life balance in the UK - flexible working, 5 weeks leave as standard + bank holidays (the kinds of things that aren't available to me here), meaning I could spend more time with the family, which might help them to settle more easily. I know I should do a pros and cons list and be objective but it's pretty hard, especially when feeling emotional about it. First world problems, hey?!

Hi All, I've read lots of threads on here about people's decisions and turmoil about moving back to the UK. Often what sways it is the reality of being near family back in the UK, which is obviously a strong pull factor. My situation is a bit different. I'm 34, from Manchester and have been living in Melbourne with my Australian wife for 7 years. We lived together in Vietnam for 2 years before that, which was where we met. We also have 4 year old twin boys. I have a very small, very dysfunctional family back home whereas my wife has quite a large, loving, supportive family here. Our boys love spending time with my wife's parents and their cousins. When we first moved to Melbourne, I loved it. I still really enjoy the place but have started to feel a lot more isolated over the last year. The thing I miss most about home is my friends, who were and are essentially like my family. There's a big group of us who are really close and we used to do everything together. Now we're at the time of life where people are getting married and having kids etc. and it's making me feel the distance all the more. I haven't been able to stop thinking about moving back home recently. I've discussed it with my wife who has said that she would be willing but she always adds on "for a while", which is fine, I don't know whether I'd want it to be permanent either. I am just struggling with guilty thoughts at potentially taking the boys away from a loving extended family to one that I would probably want to limit their interaction with. To the point where I'm thinking I should "suck it up" and get on with things as they are, for everyone else's benefit. Be interested to hear some independent opinions. Everyone around me that I could ask would have some sort of (even unintentional) bias. Thanks guys!