Missus B

It will not show up. I had same issue with me ex, when we were applying. He didn't declare it and it didn't show up.

Hello lovely lady, we have missed you. How are things going now you are back

Hello! I'm taking it one day at a time. My time is Oz feels like a distant dream now but I still have a pull to go back. I don't know where that came from but I wouldn't rule out going back in the future. But I'm still enjoying life here when I'm not working. It's nice to be back on this forum. It might help me with my pangs to move back.x

I was sponsored as a Paramedic by the Queensland Ambulance Service in 2012 for a permanent visa. I understand now, they are still sponsoring but you are expected to pay the fees for the visa. I think St Johns in WA are sponsoring and possibly doing overseas skype interviews. Best of luck and give me a shout if you need to know anything.

I haven't logged on here for quite some time as I felt my Aussie life was behind me and I didn't want any reminders....

The last time I was on here, my head was all over the place. My ex was tugging at my heart strings and I felt I wanted to move back to the UK and give it another shot with him. I wanted my cats back. I had great ideas about seeing my family more and doing lots of amazing things with my friends that I had missed so much. I even missed my old job! I romanticized about travelling all over Europe and having a proper Christmas again. I wanted to explore the Northumberland Countryside more than I had in the past and all was going to be well in Alison's world again.....

So here is the reality of what has happened.....

I landed in London at the end of May last year, and I remember boarding that flight back to the UK, feeling like a weight had been lifted! Then boom! I came crashing down to earth with a bang. The day I landed, Lee Rigby had been brutally murdered on the streets of London. My family picked me up from the airport and instead of feeling happy to see each other, we were strangely sullen, even though we didn't know this young man. The whole of London was in grief. So was the rest of the country. We spent the rest of the day watching Sky News in disbelief. The following day, I took myself into Croydon to do some shopping and take my mind of the feeling I had made a big mistake, coming back to a country where such a horrible thing could happen. I snapped myself out of it and told myself it was jetlag and I would feel better once I went back to Newcastle.

I returned to Newcastle a week later and I remember feeling elated at coming home. Some of you will know, I'm from Ireland originally but moved to Newcastle in 2004 so I considered it home. It was fantastic seeing my friends again and the sun was shining so it didn't feel like I had left the weather behind.

I met up with my ex and I in my head, it was going to be the answer to all of my problems. We would settle down again, start a family and live happily ever after. But we met and I felt empty. He wasn't the same guy and I could see the resentment in his eyes, despite saying to me in over email when I was in Oz, that he thought I had done the right thing by ending things in the first place and following my dreams. I realized I didn't love him anymore and probably never would again. So I cut him loose and I haven't seen him since. I know he is happily settled now with a nice girl and is going to be a Dad at the end of the year. It's funny how things change in such a short period of time.

I focused on having a great Summer before returning to work and spent lots of good times with my friends. My Dad was going to be away a lot so I didn't go back to Ireland. I returned to my old job and I still had that niggling feeling I had made a mistake. Morale was at it's lowest in the Ambulance Service and the job had changed a lot in the last 12 months. There was a restructure which has crippled the Emergency Services. There were staff cuts and increased demand and it wasn't long before I started to feel burnt out. I went for a promotion and I got it, moving me into management. That is where I am at now and morally, I'm not 100% comfortable with the inside view and I don't know if my future lies within the NHS. But for now, I've got a job and I know I'm pretty lucky.

I'm renting a lovely little flat and it feels like home. I've been keen to meet someone and settle down but it's just not happening for me. I've been on a few dates but no chemistry. So I've been working non stop. I've gotten back into the same cycle I was in before I went to Australia. I continue to see friends when I can. I had a lovely Christmas and saw my family and I'm looking forward to a great Summer again.

But lately my thoughts keep drifting back to my life in Oz. It was an extremely complicated move when I went. I cancelled my wedding, left someone I had been with for 8 years, rehomed my cats, sold my house, left my job, friends and family. I had to process all of these decisions on my own in Brisbane and I think it was too much. I felt I had to return to the UK to have a safety net once again. I missed my old life.

But what you romanticize about in your head when you're away from home, isn't always what it's going to be like when you come back. I have no work/personal life balance and I persistently work long hours, feel exhausted and I still feel lonely at times. Something needs to give but I don't know what that is yet.

On the whole, I'm happier about being home. about to sign a lease for another 12 months on my flat. But I'm not ruling out going back to Australia. But if I do, it won't be because I'm running away from anything and I won't be leaving unfinished business behind.

I never ever thought I would consider a move back. I wanted to shut the door on Australia and forget it ever happened. But it's a bloody great place to live, provided you're in the right frame of mind. And I miss it. The grass is seldom greener......But for now, I'm just getting on with life. But watch this space.:wink:

I paid approx $1200 for a shared container for 90cft coming over 6 months ago with a well known British company. I am ow using Wridgeways to go back, at a cost of $1350. This includes the original 90cft, plus a king bed, 2 lockers, 2 large lamps, chest of drawers and a tall book shelf. They were the cheapest quote I got and I can't fault them so far. Shipment was packed up and taken on Friday.

P1P ?

 

I was making a statement, not starting yet another argument aus v perth. What is your problem?

Sigh....read it again. I think he was agreeing with you. He also said there was no right or wrong, which means he's neutral, therefore, not starting an argument.:eek:

That's what they're saying at the moment, but as I've found out with a few different things here, nothing happens quickly. Lots of Para's here are against it, despite it being there to protect them and their patient's. They do not want to have to work autonomously. They are used to being told what to do by a medical director. It seems like a lifetime ago when registered became mandatory in the UK.

Never fear, Missus B is here! Mullers, I'm afraid you're out of luck as an EMT. All Paramedics will become registered here in the next 2 years. As an EMT, you wouldn't be up to the same level of qualification as a Paramedic and they do not offer refresher courses, as you are not practicing as a Paramedic and they will only sponsor Paramedics as per DIAC Employer sponsorship. You also need to have 5 years post qualification experience. They would take into account your EMT experience bu you would ultimately have to train as a Paramedic which, in the UK, will take you 2-3 years now as it's all Diploma based. HDS and PTS will not get you sponsorship as it's not a recognized skill over here.

Your husband could try one of the mining companies. The mining industry is going through a lull at the moment but I'm sure they would be your best bet at the moment.

I think a lot has got to do with your age and your circumstances. I'm 35 and have been here on my own since October. I'm going home in May. I don't want to be in a strange city, homesick, single and unhappy. The single bit doesn't bother me but the rest does. I was single for a few months in the UK and perfectly happy, as I had my people around me. I think if I was still in my 20's I'd stick it out for a couple of years. But this whole ''sticking it out'' business, in some cases to get Citizenship. What's the point? If you're not happy, why would you stick it out to get a stamp on your passport, saying you can come and go as you please? I like Australia but I won't be back once I leave.

I also used to think it was easier for people with families. Sometimes it is, but I have spoken to a few people lately who are considering moving back without their partner, who wants to ''stick it out''. A move to Oz can make or break your relationship!

Congrats Kerry!! Bet you can't wait now!!xx

I think you sum that up well, that you are accepting of others opinions on this even if you don't agree with it. Not sure why in this forum there's always so much challenge & confrontation when everyone is entitled to their own opinion & invited to share it.

You perceive it as challenging and confrontational. I perceive it as a healthy debate.

 

After leaving school I trained as a paramedic before deciding it wasn't the right career for me (number of reasons), so I too come from a medical background but often what you read & learn is not always true to real life in my experience anyway, no matter how many statistics you're offered on paper.

I am a Paramedic and have been one for 14 years. These statistics are based on chemistry and science and years of research. And they add weight to the theory that suicides are as a result of a break down in mental health. What these statistics say is that in the cases, where there were no warning signs, there has been a catastrophic break down, in both the chemical make up of the frontal lobe and the cognitive skills. In my experience, that is exactly what has happened in sudden and unexpected suicides.

We live in a materialistic world with such expectation on people's heads, it's sad. Certainly not worth considering ending your life over in most cases.

Most cases? I would have said all, but I'm not walking in their shoes, therefore I cannot comment.

Perhaps I view financially driven suicide differently to other reasons for suicide, I'm not sure. I guess people's justification for ending their life differs a lot, but for me this thread was about financially driven suicide in relation to the recession. And my options are based on that.

So you only think financially related suicide is selfish? The others have your empathy?

When I was 14 years old my best friends dad hung himself in her brothers bedroom after living a totally separate life with another woman & children which was his choice, he couldn't face it when her family found out, whilst she has come to terms with it, she is angry still and questions why. Her brother has gone completely off the rails, having nightmares in which he sees his dad asking him to come with him. He's seeked professional help, her mum daren't dicipline him Incase he too attempts suicide. So it has become a vicious circle of fear. Nevermind all the children caught up in this mess. 10 years on they're still dealing with consequences of it.

Nobody goes unaffected by this, no matter what the circumstances are.

Whilst I can appreciate mental illness plays a huge part in suicide, I do still think there is a choice that person still has to make that final decision....there are plenty of people in everyday life coping and managing mental illness who are still capable of making assertive life choices.

Yes, because they have a wish to live, despite their illness. Some people just want to die. And that includes terminally ill people. Sometimes emotional pain can be worse than physical pain. Anyone who's had their heart broken might agree with this.

Don't misunderstand please. This is not a personal vendetta. I simply do not agree with your opinion. It is at times contradictory to itself. This is a debate. Not everyone, including you will agree with my opinion. I encourage you to pick it apart. Nobody is right or wrong in this topic, including the suicide victims. But it is healthy to talk about and debate it. Don't be afraid of that.

Love it!!:notworthy:

there is no need to suggest that those who do not share your view on suicide and deem it selfish, may very well end up committing suicide themselves through a physchotic episode or breakdown as I'm fully aware suicide can happen to anyone for all matter of reasons...

Do you really think I am that much of a control freak? Side with my opinion or you will end up with the same fate? Jesus wept....get a grip! I have not suggested this. I am a medical professional. It is part of my continuing professional development to research medical journals and studies as part of my reflective practice. I have not made this stuff up and I have certainly not posted it to scare monger people into siding with me. It is there to google if you are interested and it is an educational experience for anyone who wants to gain more insight into this condition.

What I have suggested is that any one of us, at any stage of our lives, can go through a life changing experience that can change our mental state in an instant and prevent us from making the right decision.

I have had very personal loss from suicide. I do not bear any consequences about his death. I am very sad he is no longer with me and that he felt so much pain in the first place. No one should have to suffer such pain, but just because his pain may not have been physical, it doesn't mean it hurt any less. I lost my mother 3 years ago from a brain hemorrhage. I am also very sad she is no longer with me and suffered pain in the end. I went through the stages of grief with both. Guilt being one of these stages. I blamed myself in both deaths, for different reasons. But ultimately, now all I feel is sadness, which gets easier with time. I no longer question, as I have entered the ''acceptance'' stage.

I don't know your background or if you have close personal experience with this so please don't take offence when I say this. You speak about those having to live with someone else's ''selfish'' decision until the day they die? You do not speak for me. That is not how I feel. And having met other families, through my own experience, that is not how they feel either.

There was also a study done in the U.S. around 4 years ago. It tested post mortem hormonal levels in Suicide victims, who had shown no previous signs of depression and had gone through a massive life change i.e. death of a loved one, financial ruin, within the 2 years prior to their death. The hormone levels were checked and compared against suicide victims who had depression for several years.

The study found the first group to have massively distorted hormonal levels in comparison to the 2nd group. The findings of the study were that the 1st group most probably had suffered an acute psychotic event or break down, causing them to make an irrational decision, completely out of their control. Stress releases hormones. This is well known. In times of severe stress, even a single event can cause a change in the chemical make up of the brain.

Therefore, this can happen to anyone, including the people who judge financially ruined suicide victims as ''selfish. This could happen to you one day. Just some food for thought....

Just reading through various posts on this thread, and I cannot understand when someone posts a thread for discussion on this forum, people's opinions are always met with such objection even if they are simply saying how they feel or think about something. I appreciate and accept other people's opinions, it'd be nice to be able to post what you feel without people jumping down your throat and trying to persuade you otherwise or prove their opinion to be the right one, when on a topic like this, the opinions will be diverse and controversial, but i feel no one's opinion should be dismissed as right or wrong.

 

I feel that financially driven suicide is selfish (from my point of view) and that it is not always down to mental illness but more despair and the reason i use the word pride, is because i have dealt with a number of people in recent years who have attempted suicide when their business has gone into administration and they feel the pressure of their family/friends to live upto a persona they have always had, living the champagne lifestyle. Then when they are faced with no means to pay for next weeks shopping bill or their car or home gets repossessed they choose to end their life feeling it is the only way out, leaving those they love to deal with the consequences.

 

I understand that people are driven to attempt suicide for a lot of reasons, no two cases are the same, but largely in my experience, people who have survived suicide attempts have almost always regretted it and admitted they did it out of anger, attention, hurt, despair or pride when it has been a financially driven attempt. Most surprisingly they have admitted very little thought went into it before they did it.

 

I disagree that financially driven suicide is in any way brave but rather the opposite and cowardess but i understand what you mean when you say the willpoower and guts as i could never imagine being in that situation & i guess would never know the amount of successful suicides that people have immediately regretted but it's been too late to turn back.

 

In terms of mental illness and terminal illness... i have people in my life who have suffered with mental illness so i am fully aware of the impacts it has on their life and those around them, but in most cases mental illness isn't a death sentence and in this particular topic i am talking about financially driven suicide nothing more.

When you're diagnosed with terminal cancer and then someone healthy willingly takes their own life leaving a trail of devastation behind them, you cannot help but feel that it isn't fair. But such is life!

 

My opinion is a very personal one, for personal reasons, doesn't make it a right or wrong one!

Firstly, I have not ''jumped down'' anyone's throat. I spend most of my days jumping due to being vertically challenged but I simply wouldn't fit into someone's throat, having eaten too many Macca's.

Secondly, this is a forum and this is a discussion/debate about a topic. If I post here, it is a given that I will get differing opinions. I like that. It's fun. And I've got broad shoulders, so I don't lose sleep over it. It's expected that not everyone will agree with you.

Suicide is suicide. I don't believe you can differentiate between any suicide because of the drive behind it. It just isn't as simple as that in my opinion. Yes, financial ruin may be the straw that broke the camel's back, but I think, had these people not faced financial ruin, it would have been something else. I think their life choice would have been the same eventually, regardless of what happened.

Yes seriously,

 

I am not trying to upset anyone, jeez give me a break, i am entitled to my opinion as is everyone else!

 

My personal opinion on this is that when there are people out there whose lives are affected by terminal illness or have lost their lives to a tragedy such as a car accident they do not have a choice, i feel it is a very selfish act for people who particularly have family and friends to choose to end their life when they do have a choice and that in doing so they lack complete consideration for the affect it with have on others for the rest of their lives. There are tons of support networks and places people could turn, particularly if as we are saying in this topic it is financially related.

 

It's very easy for people to assume all suicides are due to mental illness, and whilst i appreciate this is a factor in most, one which is financially driven are people who cannot face something that's happened or something they have done for them to be financially broken...and for me, i find this selfish, and in this instance i would say that yes, if your business has gone under and you owe thousands and you have not a bean to your name...you can definitely pick yourself back up off the floor...you just lose some of your pride.

Hmmm....anyone who takes their own life is suffering from Mental Illness. A lot of people go through severe hardship, tragedy and emotional ruin in their lifetime. Most do not take their own life. Most mental health issues stem from hormonal imbalance, isolation, previous abuse, addiction, and lack of self worth. Particularly with hormonal or chemical imbalance, most people are unaware they even have this condition. They just go through life, unable ''to dust themselves off''. Unable to function like normal people. Unable to sleep, unable to stay awake. The list goes on. Selfish? I don't think that even enters their mind. Because that would be too straight forward. Severe depression is a very complex illness, rarely caused by one event. It's an underlying condition in most people. And they simply cannot ''manage'' these events like most folk can.

Every time I go to a suicide victim, it always crosses my mind, of the sheer willpower and ''guts'' it takes to die on your own by your own hand. Can you imagine the desperation and loneliness that they feel in their last moments?

You talk about how unfair it is that people die from terminal illness, when they have no choice? Mental Illness is a disease as well. And most people feel they have no choice. And if it were as simple as going to talk to someone, then I wouldn't still be cutting people down from ropes after 14 years.

You get plenty of serial suicide people who would never take their own lives and a lot do it for attention for whatever reason, the real ones are the ones who do it first time and are successful.

An incorrect and generalized analogy PB. Yes I do meet people who try often, without the real intention of seeing it through. But some of these people succeed eventually. This is what I mean about some people not being for this world. They will try many times and eventually go through with it because they simply do not want to live life anymore. Euthanasia is a different topic. But I see some understanding in what you're saying. I would never judge someone for taking their own life. It really is theirs to do whatever they wish with. I might not like it but it is ultimately out of my hands if they chose to take that path. And what I choose to do with my life after is to pick up the pieces.

I think the media has a lot to answer for, Brits are spoon-fed a diet of doom and gloom re UK, sunshine and happiness in Aus.

 

Pretty dumb really. But people fall for it, they block out all the boring facts about real life and have an image in their mind of themselves prancing on a beach with a BBQ prawn burger.

 

Reality is a bit more boring, for some its downright depressing to come here and realise they have to be careful with their money, look for 'specials', watch utterly crap TV, have no friend network. Doesn't take long for them to think, "WTF have we done?"

Damn right!! Prawns cost a fortune!! That's why I'm going home:twitcy:

But do these people really want to die, most of the time it's out of desperation for something that's happening in their life at that time.

I don't know....Having seen much of this in my job and my best friend took his own life 6 years ago, I have to say that I honestly think some people are just not for this world...

There is a good documentary called ''The Bridge'' in which stories of suicide victims, families and survivors are told. It gives an excellent, albeit partial insight into this terribly complex decision.

Traffic lights that take ages to change. I feel like I'm spending my life waiting for green:mad: Trivial I know, but on top of everything else, this is the one thing that gets me irate on a daily basis.

Sausages, fish & chips, knowing immediately where to get a good curry, the NHS, snow, coming in out of the cold to a warm house, decent motorways, faster traffic lights, proper Sausage & egg Mcmuffin- they taste different here, good gyms, good pubs, decent chocolate, cheap clothes shops, rainy days, being closer distance to family, british shops, british festivals. This list could go on forever...

I just find it really sad for people who have spent years and years dreaming and planning and preparing for a forever move to Aus and then chuck in after a couple of months because they miss mummy and daddy.

 

Ok I know that sounds rude and it is, but it is often the truth.

Firstly, I have never spent years and years, dreaming, planning and preparing for a forever move to Australia. It was a great opportunity which I decided to take. I had the guts to take it.

Secondly, I do not miss ''mummy and daddy''. My dear mother is no longer with us and my Dad is away for most of the year. I lived nowhere near my family for the last 8 years. :realmad:

MissusB, why did you want to come to Australia in the first place ? Was it just boredom with your life ?

 

Really you've only had a holiday for 2 months.

Good luck with your move back. But don't tell yourself you have experienced emigrating to Australia, but you have had a good holiday.

I'm slightly offended by this and normally I don't bite at these type of comments. How do you make that out? How long is the official ''time'' to say you have emigrated to Australia? I am a permanent resident. I have already integrated. I work for the emergency services which has probably helped me integrate quicker into society and culture here. And as I work 12-15 hours a day, I am most certainly not ''on holiday''. I have a fairly tight group of friends, a good social life, a good routine. My life here is currently being lived the way it would be lived in the UK. I just do more things here on my days off as the weather allows me to do so here. I have actually been here 4 months now and when I leave, it will be almost 9 months. Statistics say 3-6 months to adopt a new culture. I don't think I will feel any different in 2 months as one of these statistics. My one true goal in life is not to be a statistic in fact. I like to get outside of my comfort zone and live life and that is why I came to Australia. I was curious. If you read my previous posts on other threads, I loved my life in the UK and I certainly wasn't bored. But by staying here a particular or expected length of time, I become one of those statistics I'm talking about. Simply because I am conforming to what is expected of me, rather than following my own heart. Nothing is set in stone and I removed my blinkers a long time ago. It can help with your outlook on life. Just saying.....

I knew after about a month, still here 2 years and 3 months later but saving to go home. I do agree that for some its gets better after time but they seem to have had difficulty with general settling in rather than out right hating it like i do. I cope well with day to day life, and if I'm honest certain elements of life are no different, i go to work, I go to the supermarket, the gym etc but my work colleagues haven't become friends liek they did in the UK, the supermarket has less choice and the gym is behind the times. For me its whats here for the fun side of life that is the most lacking, from where i live in perth if i go 2 hours in either direction there is nothing different, bush or beachs, everything is expensive and they just seem to settle for less here, bands I've seen in the UK even seem to put in less effort!

Christ, I'm glad I wasn't imagining things. I thought I was just being picky but the gyms and classes are very outdated!!