Missus B

It will not show up. I had same issue with me ex, when we were applying. He didn't declare it and it didn't show up.

Hello lovely lady, we have missed you. How are things going now you are back

Hello! I'm taking it one day at a time. My time is Oz feels like a distant dream now but I still have a pull to go back. I don't know where that came from but I wouldn't rule out going back in the future. But I'm still enjoying life here when I'm not working. It's nice to be back on this forum. It might help me with my pangs to move back.x

I was sponsored as a Paramedic by the Queensland Ambulance Service in 2012 for a permanent visa. I understand now, they are still sponsoring but you are expected to pay the fees for the visa. I think St Johns in WA are sponsoring and possibly doing overseas skype interviews. Best of luck and give me a shout if you need to know anything.

I haven't logged on here for quite some time as I felt my Aussie life was behind me and I didn't want any reminders....

The last time I was on here, my head was all over the place. My ex was tugging at my heart strings and I felt I wanted to move back to the UK and give it another shot with him. I wanted my cats back. I had great ideas about seeing my family more and doing lots of amazing things with my friends that I had missed so much. I even missed my old job! I romanticized about travelling all over Europe and having a proper Christmas again. I wanted to explore the Northumberland Countryside more than I had in the past and all was going to be well in Alison's world again.....

So here is the reality of what has happened.....

I landed in London at the end of May last year, and I remember boarding that flight back to the UK, feeling like a weight had been lifted! Then boom! I came crashing down to earth with a bang. The day I landed, Lee Rigby had been brutally murdered on the streets of London. My family picked me up from the airport and instead of feeling happy to see each other, we were strangely sullen, even though we didn't know this young man. The whole of London was in grief. So was the rest of the country. We spent the rest of the day watching Sky News in disbelief. The following day, I took myself into Croydon to do some shopping and take my mind of the feeling I had made a big mistake, coming back to a country where such a horrible thing could happen. I snapped myself out of it and told myself it was jetlag and I would feel better once I went back to Newcastle.

I returned to Newcastle a week later and I remember feeling elated at coming home. Some of you will know, I'm from Ireland originally but moved to Newcastle in 2004 so I considered it home. It was fantastic seeing my friends again and the sun was shining so it didn't feel like I had left the weather behind.

I met up with my ex and I in my head, it was going to be the answer to all of my problems. We would settle down again, start a family and live happily ever after. But we met and I felt empty. He wasn't the same guy and I could see the resentment in his eyes, despite saying to me in over email when I was in Oz, that he thought I had done the right thing by ending things in the first place and following my dreams. I realized I didn't love him anymore and probably never would again. So I cut him loose and I haven't seen him since. I know he is happily settled now with a nice girl and is going to be a Dad at the end of the year. It's funny how things change in such a short period of time.

I focused on having a great Summer before returning to work and spent lots of good times with my friends. My Dad was going to be away a lot so I didn't go back to Ireland. I returned to my old job and I still had that niggling feeling I had made a mistake. Morale was at it's lowest in the Ambulance Service and the job had changed a lot in the last 12 months. There was a restructure which has crippled the Emergency Services. There were staff cuts and increased demand and it wasn't long before I started to feel burnt out. I went for a promotion and I got it, moving me into management. That is where I am at now and morally, I'm not 100% comfortable with the inside view and I don't know if my future lies within the NHS. But for now, I've got a job and I know I'm pretty lucky.

I'm renting a lovely little flat and it feels like home. I've been keen to meet someone and settle down but it's just not happening for me. I've been on a few dates but no chemistry. So I've been working non stop. I've gotten back into the same cycle I was in before I went to Australia. I continue to see friends when I can. I had a lovely Christmas and saw my family and I'm looking forward to a great Summer again.

But lately my thoughts keep drifting back to my life in Oz. It was an extremely complicated move when I went. I cancelled my wedding, left someone I had been with for 8 years, rehomed my cats, sold my house, left my job, friends and family. I had to process all of these decisions on my own in Brisbane and I think it was too much. I felt I had to return to the UK to have a safety net once again. I missed my old life.

But what you romanticize about in your head when you're away from home, isn't always what it's going to be like when you come back. I have no work/personal life balance and I persistently work long hours, feel exhausted and I still feel lonely at times. Something needs to give but I don't know what that is yet.

On the whole, I'm happier about being home. about to sign a lease for another 12 months on my flat. But I'm not ruling out going back to Australia. But if I do, it won't be because I'm running away from anything and I won't be leaving unfinished business behind.

I never ever thought I would consider a move back. I wanted to shut the door on Australia and forget it ever happened. But it's a bloody great place to live, provided you're in the right frame of mind. And I miss it. The grass is seldom greener......But for now, I'm just getting on with life. But watch this space.:wink: