Im sorry blossom79, but i`m certainly not getting "worked up", just asking questions and thanking posters, I was trying to clarify if it wasn't clear in my first post what my situation is, it really has nothing to do with whether or not you had any help or not, I myself travelled to Australia when younger without the help from my parents or family, doesn't mean I cant fund or support my son who overcame alot of difficulties to achieve his results, the point of posting was to get some advice not to be judged on what I do or don't do for my children!! now i am getting worked up!! NOT!! anyway thanks for everyone for taking the time in posting advice and if you've taken offence at my "text tone" get over it and move on