Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hi there, this is my first post on here, having just discovered this forum I'm a 42 year old Aussie bloke, married to a pom and we live in Hemel Hempstead. I'm desperate to return to Australia. My wife has 3 kids from a previous marriage (the oldest is 15 and doesnt want to come) as well as 2 of our own. We are really at the start of our journey to get us all to Australia. Any help or advice would be greatly apreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Quick summary: Your children are dual citizens, so you'll need to get them their australian passports, and they're all set. Your wife will need a partner visa 309/100 (do a search on www.immi.gov.au for details). Since you've been together more than two years and have kids, she should get PR straight away. Her children from previous marriage will need to be included on her visa application. You will need permission from their father for this. If he refuses, then you'll have to take it to court if you want to proceed with your move to Australia. Teenagers not wanting to come can be an issue. One option would be to give them the choice of where they live (assuming the 15yr old's father is happy with this) PROVIDED they come out with you to validate the visa, to give them the option of a mind change in the future. If you have any questions about any of this, fire away. Be aware that taking children away from their other parent is a highly emotive issue on this forum, and you may get some unpleasant posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thanks RockDr, very helpful. the 15 year is a bit selfish and seems to be digging her heels in, saying she wants to be near her dad, boyfriend etc. The dad of the 3 kids seems to be backing her up, but doesn't seem to mind the younger ones going, which I find strange Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmsmark Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thanks RockDr, very helpful. the 15 year is a bit selfish and seems to be digging her heels in, saying she wants to be near her dad, boyfriend etc. The dad of the 3 kids seems to be backing her up, but doesn't seem to mind the younger ones going, which I find strange Is the dad willing to take the 15 year old on? If you make it plain that your family is moving, and she is going to have to move in with him, that might change his support. Plus, is your wife willing to leave her daughter behind? Obviously important questions to get solid answers to before booking flights and finding a place to live in Oz... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I think the dad seems to be willing to take the 15 year old on. My wife wants her to come with us, I'm in the middle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 If she stays in the UK to finish school, she always has the option of coming out for uni in Australia. If she moves to Australia now, she will be classed as an international student if she wants to return to go to uni in the UK. I would definitely encourage her to get her visa, teenagers do change their minds, especially once the boyfriend becomes an ex, as happens quite often at that age... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 You say your wife has 3 children from the previous marriage and 2 of your own can I ask the ages of the other children? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 the older 2 are 11 and 8. our 2 are 2 and 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 the older 2 are 11 and 8.our 2 are 2 and 6 What do the 11 and 8 year old think? I wouldn't like to split the family up personally, if it was just the 15 year old and her and her dad were happy for her to stay then yes, but please realise this is going to be a very hard time for your wife, not only the big move to the other side of the world but also leaving her daughter. Has your wife been to Australia before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 what I haven't mentioned so far is that I'm actually in Australia at the moment. Me and the wife have been having a few arguments about the situation. I came over here for a few weeks to see my family and give her a bit of space. So really, it should be greetings from not so sunny Werribee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 my wife has been on holiday to Aus before many years ago, before she met me. The 11 and 8 year are keen as mustard to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 devil's advocate here... so what you're saying is you've swanned off to the other side of the world, leaving your wife in charge of five kids for her to comtemplate a huge-upheaval that may result in her separation from one of her daughters? Don't you think you should be there to support her through this? Have you thought about how you're going to help the kids maintain their relationship with their father? Will you be able to afford regular trips home for your wife and kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 crikey you sound like my wife! I came on here to ask for help, not an ear bashing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 crikey you sound like my wife! I came on here to ask for help, not an ear bashing Welcome to Poms In Oz SavagePatio. As many members will verify there is no easy solution when it comes to children, some do remain back in the Uk , others come on over happy/unhappy. Without a doubt migration is most stressful and arriving at a happy compromise is often hard to achieve. I am also from Europe married to an Australian and my children although grown up are outside of this country, and yes even I do become stressed about it on occasions. 15 years of age is a tender delicate age, my feeling would be to happily let her live with her father, but to ask for her to compromise.. that she goes through the visa formalities with you guys, comes over and validates it and goes back. This will give her so much more advantage when she is older as we have been known to change our minds eh!:biggrin:. Regarding the other youngsters, it has been said already permission has to be sought from the father which I am sure you have realised. If permission has been granted than, the oldest not wishing to go will certainly complicate matters when she is older and wishes to come to Australia as many members will relate to you. Good luck with your decisions and plans, sometimes a breather is good, just to be able to see the clearer picture. Susie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Yes you did ask for help, and I provided that help in my first post, if you have specific questions about visas/technicalities etc, feel free to ask them. From your ensuing posts, it seemed you were wanting to discuss more than just the legal/visa practicalities. My last post was more along the lines of trying to help you to understand all the emotional ups and downs associated with moving halfway across the planet. You say you are desperate to move back to Australia, which will make the move very easy for you. It won't be that easy on the rest of your family, and they are going to need your help and support during this upheaval. You say the 8 and 11 year old are keen as mustard to go? I'm sure they are, it's all a big adventure. Be prepared for them to not be so keen once they realise the reality of it all, and how little they will get to see their dad (if they have a good relationship with them). I am playing devils advocate here, as stated in my last post. I'm not saying it's a terrible thing to move/split a family, I'm just trying to point out that it can have huge repercussions, and that these need to be thought about before the move. For example, what happens if you do all make the move, and your wife really doesn't like it and becomes desperate to move back to the UK. What will you do? What will happen to the 15yr old's education f you do move back after she's been out of the UK for long enough that she has neither A-levels and is classed as an international student for university? If you want to stick to the practicalities, that's fine, just say so and I'll shut up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest57588 Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 what I haven't mentioned so far is that I'm actually in Australia at the moment. Me and the wife have been having a few arguments about the situation. I came over here for a few weeks to see my family and give her a bit of space. So really, it should be greetings from not so sunny Werribee! Is Werribee were your looking to set up home when you get back to Oz? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thanks for all the support guys. In answer to samsusie, yeah that sounds a really good idea to get her (the 15 year old) a visa which gives her options. And the time apart is doing me good at least. It's been really nice catching up with my parents. I spoke to the wife on Skype tonight and she is still angry at me for taking off so suddenly. As for the other 2, well yeah I suppose they might have some difficulties, but their mum is a very positive lady (unlike most poms!) so I think they'll be fine. And yeah mate, we're looking at werribee or hoppers crossing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thanks for all the support guys.In answer to samsusie, yeah that sounds a really good idea to get her (the 15 year old) a visa which gives her options. And the time apart is doing me good at least. It's been really nice catching up with my parents. I spoke to the wife on Skype tonight and she is still angry at me for taking off so suddenly. As for the other 2, well yeah I suppose they might have some difficulties, but their mum is a very positive lady (unlike most poms!) so I think they'll be fine. And yeah mate, we're looking at werribee or hoppers crossing Good luck to you SavagePatio, She'll be right! Introduce her to Poms In Oz, its a great support network! It actually is a huge weight on your shoulders , this migration malarky SP, so having a few members to discuss problems with cant be all bad. Good luck to you as a family and looking forward to hearing all the positive news soon. Susie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traceyandlee Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hi there, this is my first post on here, having just discovered this forumI'm a 42 year old Aussie bloke, married to a pom and we live in Hemel Hempstead. I'm desperate to return to Australia. My wife has 3 kids from a previous marriage (the oldest is 15 and doesnt want to come) as well as 2 of our own. We are really at the start of our journey to get us all to Australia. Any help or advice would be greatly apreciated Hope everything sorts its self out for you and your family,I reckon you have been in the U.K to long and just needed to get away from the M1 and you will feel better being here and having a break from the Magic roundabout in Hemel,I am not to far from you in Melbourne (Caroline Spriings) moved over from Watford. Good luck Geezer!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thanks for all the support guys.In answer to samsusie, yeah that sounds a really good idea to get her (the 15 year old) a visa which gives her options. And the time apart is doing me good at least. It's been really nice catching up with my parents. I spoke to the wife on Skype tonight and she is still angry at me for taking off so suddenly. As for the other 2, well yeah I suppose they might have some difficulties, but their mum is a very positive lady (unlike most poms!) so I think they'll be fine. And yeah mate, we're looking at werribee or hoppers crossing To be honest I think you need to sit down and have a long chat with your wife first, it's no good moving over here if she is going to be unhappy. Good luck with everything:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 just a quick update. I've been having the time of my life since my return to Aus a week ago. It's great catching up with my parents. we spoke most days on the phone when I was in the UK but it's just not the same. Also I've been catching up with mates down the pub. God I missed Aussie pubs! So good to sink a few VBs with my dad whilst watching proper footy at a normal time! spent a lot of time polishing my ute, which my dad has kept in his garage for 6 years! In short, it's bloody great to be HOME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 just a quick update. I've been having the time of my life since my return to Aus a week ago. It's great catching up with my parents. we spoke most days on the phone when I was in the UK but it's just not the same. Also I've been catching up with mates down the pub. God I missed Aussie pubs! So good to sink a few VBs with my dad whilst watching proper footy at a normal time! spent a lot of time polishing my ute, which my dad has kept in his garage for 6 years! In short, it's bloody great to be HOME! Glad you are happy to be back home, don't mention the footy unless you support Collingwood:wink: You should join the "Handsome Mens Thread" although to be honest I think it's died of death you could always have a look at the Womens Thread in CTF (sorry chewing the fat). We tend to keep the CTF section for off topic banter. How is the wife? Hope you have kissed and made up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SavagePatio Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Glad you are happy to be back home, don't mention the footy unless you support Collingwood:wink:You should join the "Handsome Mens Thread" although to be honest I think it's died of death you could always have a look at the Womens Thread in CTF (sorry chewing the fat). We tend to keep the CTF section for off topic banter. How is the wife? Hope you have kissed and made up.[/quote Collingwood!! never! I'm St Kilda mate. Yeah, the wife has calmed down a bit, spoke to her again this morning and I told her what a great time I'm having. She was a bit quiet. I'll never understand the opposite sex! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 what I haven't mentioned so far is that I'm actually in Australia at the moment. Your first post said that you were desperate to return to Australia and yet you say you're already in Australia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Your first post said that you were desperate to return to Australia and yet you say you're already in Australia? Kev he explained that he does want to get back here with his wife and children, he is currently visiting his parents in Werribee :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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