This is my first post on this forum, however, I have been reading for a few weeks and have found it to be extremely interesting and helpful.
This could be a very, very long post but i will give a little bit of background and cut to the chase! I am Scottish and we are known for waffling on!
My husband and i emigrated to Adelaide from Newcastle upon Tyne in March 2013. His family all live in the north of England and my family in the highlands of Scotland. My husband had spent time in Oz during his training in both Melbourne and Brisbane for a year at a time (we are going back around 25 years!) He said Australia got under his skin and despite landing an excellent job in the U.K he never quite settled and dreamed of going back. He was previously married with a daughter when we met. A fantastic opportunity arose in Adelaide so we decided to go for it knowing we could travel and visit family and we could go home if it didn't work out. We had to give it a go or spend the rest of our lives wondering what if?
We left with our nine month old daughter and our second daughter was born three months after we landed. Our children are now 8,7 and we have a 3 year old too. Our families supported us but were equally heartbroken which we never really talk about!
My husband had been travelling twice a year to see his now teenage daughter and she had come to visit us too as she was getting older. I have never been back since we emigrated as my mum and dad were coming out at least twice a year and I wanted to wait until our children were a bit older before we made the trip. That was meant to be this year! Obviously Covid has pretty much put paid to all of that in the near future and we are left wondering what now???? My husband id devastated at the thought of not seeing his daughter. Despite the distance they are very close (we all are!) and we have . done an amazing job of maintaining the relationship via visits and weekly FaceTime video chats and phone calls. My mum and I are also very close and I phone her every day but its just not the same.
Life is good here. My husband is a consultant surgeon due to come a professor very soon, loves his public job and his colleagues and has a thriving private practice. We live in a beautiful house with a pool close to the beach and our older girls go to the local school where they are happy. I am a nurse but don't work so I am home with the kids. We have friends but haven't really found our tribe. We also have two dogs and a cat which we adore! We are permanent residents but haven't gone for citizenship yet.....stupid we know!
It all looks great on paper, however, we spent most of 2019 VERY unsettled. We talked constantly about family and going home. At this point our parents were ageing and becoming less able to travel. My husbands family, including his beautiful 80 year old mum, and the majority of my family have never met our two youngest children. Hubbys trips back to the UK were beginning to take its toll as all his holidays were spent travelling home while i stayed here with the kids and no support network just praying there wouldn't be a disaster while he was away!
We do love Adelaide, however, have issues. the summer is brutal and I often find the kids and I are confined to a fairly indoor lifestyle during the summer school holidays. My husband earns well but despite gruelling hours between tax and cost of living we aren't much better off than when he worked in the NHS! His private work also buys him body and soul but it is very much something you are expected to do here. We feel extremely isolated from the rest of the world and are beginning to regret coming here.
My husband applied for a few jobs last year but we pulled out thinking that equally we would be insane to leave. I should probably add that my husband is 50 and Im 41 so the thought of starting again is daunting.
We pulled out of the jobs thinking as long as we can travel we can probably cope. Then covid happened.
We are genuinely now torn every single day as to what to do. Every time we say we will stay literally within 24 hours one of us has changed their mind!
Its become all consuming and we feel we can't move on with life. We are also acutely aware that time is not on our side with regards to our childrens education, and friendships and our ages.
We just can't shake the feeling that our Aussie dream has run its course. We miss our families and feel we are denying our children contact with them and in particular their big sister.
My husband has applied for a job in Bath which he is discussing with his ex UK colleague this weekend to see if it would be suitable.
However we are also worried that going back won't be what we think it. That we are rose tinting it and we won't see as much of our families as we think or that UK winters are far more miserable than we remember! It would be a one way trip for us. If we went back we wouldn't come back to Oz again for by the financial implications we couldn't put our families through the heartbreak again. We haven't even discussed this with our families as we don't want to get their hopes up!
It really is an impossible decision with no right or wrong answer.
ANY words of understanding or wisdom would be so appreciated.
Thank you if you have read this far and i hope you and your families are safe and well wherever in the world you are.
P.S told you i could talk!!