Austaff

Thanks for your input everyone, it has all been helpful. Now I've got a lot of thinking and some big decisions to make x

I'm not sure why he constantly wants to move, it's been 11 times in the last 14 years so we do it quite a lot! 9 of the moves have been since we've lived in oz so perhaps he's never settled whilst being here and that's been his way of coping, although I'm not convinced he will want to stop if we get to the uk. I've always thought he is easily bored & likes the newness as he changes his cars & job frequently too. Through the years I've been happy to go along if it makes him happy, but now we have the kids I'm not prepared to keep doing it. It's not fair on them hence why we are now at loggerheads

He says if we move back he will never return, but he's never settled anywhere and wants to move house/ jobs every few years. I am worried we will move back and he won't settle there either and want to keep moving around! At some point we have to settle for the kids and I'm sick of moving around the area, let alone countries but perhaps the only chance I have of him ever being content is if we go back. I think I could be happy living in the Uk but will always feel it is a second best place to live compared to our home here.

Thanks for your reply & I think understand what your saying, but the only way I can consider what is best for my children is to look at it from my perspective? Ie I feel that they will have less opportunities living in the UK & would prefer an outdoor childhood for them in a place I know has good schools, over spending time with extended family who we may not see that often anyway and move somewhere I don't really know anymore. Obviously they are too young to give me a well thought out opinion of their own either way so I don't know how else to decide what's best for them without projecting my own opinions on their situation?

Thanks for your reply, and also yours Quoll. They have helped me have a better understanding of what he is feeling and that unfortunately it probably won't go away despite my hope that he will finally settle. I have been thinking that he is being pretty selfish trying to drag us all away from our home, friends and life we've had for the last 13 years to go back to a country which I'm sure isn't the same place as we'd left all those years ago, to live a quality of life that seems less that what we have here. Your right in that I think I'm a nomad person & could probably make the most of living anywhere. I also think because my mother passed away when I was little, the family pull isn't as strong for me & so perhaps it should be me to compromise. Although the thought of the expense and effort to do it all (which will probably end up on me) is exhausting & thinking about what kind of life my children would miss out on saddens me.

Unfortunately that's not really practical although It would be a good compromise. Our children are really too young to go on an aircraft for the sake of a few weeks holiday & the expense and annual leave situation would mean we could only go every few years which I don't think would be enough for him to quell the longing to return. If only the uk wasn't so far away!

Hey all, I'm sure this isn't an unusual situation so I'm posting asking for your experiences and advice. We have been living in Australia 13 years and I am completely settled. We have two Australian born children (too young to have started school), but unfortunately my partner has never really settled here and wants to return to the uk. He says family is the pull to return home and now his nan is getting old and sick, he's really putting the pressure on. He keeps showing me houses we could buy in the uk with the equity we have in our current home (we could be mortgage free if we returned) and says how this would free us financially and how wonderful it would be to have our family around etc etc. Unfortunately the houses he is showing me just make me depressed! The houses in the U.K. are no comparison to what we can afford here & moving back to a tiny house, far from the beach with a crap garden is not exactly appealing to me. I love where we live, have great friends here and the local schools for our children are great and so I find his wanting to return puzzling. I get the family pull but for me that doesn't overcome the opportunities our children will have here and the excellent weather and lifestyle. I feel bad refusing to move & feel it is selfish of me to refuse him spending the last few months/ years with his nan before she passes, but I simply don't want to move. I'm worried we will go back and I will feel it is a huge mistake and resent him for dragging me back, but then be stuck there forever thinking of what I would be doing had we stayed. IAnyone else in this position and how did handle it? Did you go back and adjust or hate it? Im so confused as to what is the right step for our family