Hi,
Over the past 6 months i have constantly read all posts from many people and their different experiences on this topic. It is only now that i have finally decided that i would share my experience and try to gain some further insight from people in similar situations or even views of people that may be able to provide some insight. Now i fully understand everybody's situation is different, no one can tell you what is the right or wrong thing to do with regards to your own personal situation and at the end of the day the decision will ultimately lie with myself and my family but for some reason it still feels better to share it.
I emigrated to Perth 11 years ago at the age of 18 with my parents and two brothers. My family settled in straight away, made lots and lots of friends and if you were to meet them now you would assume they were Australian and had never been anywhere else, let alone be from the UK. My parents have never even gone back to the UK to visit because of 2 reasons, no desire to and the fact our family have always been more than willing to come to Perth and make a holiday of it. I on the other hand, struggled. and even to this day have never really settled. It was a tough age to move, even though i totally accepted it and wanted to make the move with my family. I went to university to meet friends as i was to old to go to school. Dumb right, get a massive uni debt because i wanted to meet people?? I was young and naïve. However, i did meet lots of people, got a fairly good degree (sports science) which has somehow lead to the job i do now as product specialist. I know, couldn't be further apart from each other. However, i talked myself into the job and have done ok. Moving on.
4 years ago, after numerous visits back to the UK i decided i wanted to see all of Australia, booked myself on a trip from Sydney to Cairns and upped and went. Had a great time, met a beautiful girl who is now my wife. She was from England ( i didn't intentionally go out to meet an English girl) and was from a town 10 minutes up the road from where i was from. Weird hey? I went back to uk to be with her, lasted 3 months and missed the family, so came back. After lots of money sorting visas she joined me in Perth a few months later. 2 years later we got married and we now have a son (First generation Australian).
My wife has always made such an effort here and loved living here. settled in (or i thought she had) and made a real go of it. However, since she had our son she has been very homesick (misses her mum and dad, friends etc) and has been pining to return home. She gave up her life there to come here and now she is missing it terribly. She has no family here and not many 'very good' friends which she has in abundance at home. She has made lots of effort to meet people, joined lots of mums groups and does stuff everyday with our son. The only thing preventing me upping and going back is my family which is made all the harder by the fact they have their first grand child now who they adore and it would break my heart to take him away from their lives. My wife however does not have that relationship with them and wants to return.
Perth is great place, ok it can be a bit dull but its what you make of it and it would be a great place to bring kids up. I am in a right predicament. I worry that we would take our son away from a fairly good life here, i worry about work as i only have about 3-4 years experience in what i do here and i worry about my family here. Yes i have family at home and i have always wanted to return but now the question has been asked and the situation is real im having doubts?
Has anybody remotely been in this situation? I Know we would have a good life in the UK, lots of friends, extended family for me and direct family for my wife. Money wouldn't be an issue moving and we would have a deposit for a place over there as we have always been sensible with money and saved hard.
Sorry for the long story but setting the scene is important. I hope someone can share their views. Ultimately i know i have to return for my wife as she has made the decision she needs to go. Even after months of me trying to take her rose tinted glasses off and laying down all the pros and cons. I guess its just me thats unsure. Like i said, i always would have gone but now the time is here to make a decision im finding it hard because i know how much money my family spent to get us here for a 'better' life all them years ago. and the fact we are a very close family which i think occurs when you move somewhere and only have each other for a period of time. Im 29 now, have my own family and am in a bit of a predicament!
Thanks :-)
