Its not easy. Ive been here since 1989. Moved to Aus in 1989 with my then australian husband and a 6 week old baby. I long for what I call home and believe my experience in Aus has not been great. On the work front it has been very difficult. My then husband lived and insisted on living in the area of Tweed Heads where work is extremely hard to find. My background is PA and recruitment. The role of PA is nearly extinct and the Recruitment Industry has changed significantly. I did however manage to secure a Managerial job in Perth, WA but it was at great cost to me in that I lived there in WA for 7 years without my two children. I have for some reason lived here because I have not wanted to feel responsible for separating my children from their father but on all accounts it has made me very very unhappy. Yes they are happy and I love them and do not want them to be unhappy so I have done my best. However in this last year I reached rock bottom, having returned to the East Coast when my son had his first grandchild to start a business with a new relationship on the sunshine coast. Unfortunatley it was an awful mistake as I was totally ripped off. I had built my life from absolutely nothing when I moved to Perth and then to Kalgoorlie in 5 years, had my first property since arriving in Australia and I used the equity to finance the business for both me and my partner but unfortunately for me my partner took the money and run was forced to sell my home, lost everything because it was at the time of the economic downturn and was left with a carpet and upholstery cleaning business that had no cash flow. It has kept me a float but it has been painfully hard from a number of perspectives. I became very suicidal and was diagnosed with Depression and PTSD latter part of last year. In this time I have been studying to become a Strategic Intervention Coach which has been great and to be honest wish this had been my career from day dot. However now I am looking for jobs in that field and I feel I am yet again ahead of my time. There are some great jobs being advertised in the UK which would no doubt help me to gain confidence plus give me some real earning potential again. My dilemma is I will not have the support of my parents. My mum would like me back I have no doubt but I think she is so anxious that I might burden her and her relatively new boyfriend, my father is in Ghana, I have one sister living in Reading but her life is so complicated. So I really don't know how I can make the move on my own it feels so scary because I haven't been back plus I am of course having to face leaving my two children my daughter 23 and my son 25 plus (three grandsons to my son). I have spoken to my son and yes he sees it being a good thing for me to think about and says with technology we can stay in touch but its my daughter I worry about so much and I know I will miss incredibly and I am scared she will be hurt by it. So torn and yet so need to get work to turn my life around and yes I so miss England for so so many things. Have never really felt I fitted in here except I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed Perth but it was hard not being close to my children.
