pominaus7

Its the latter. Like one person posted, he knows im missing home and unhappy here but hes still staying regardless. so he knows I am looking forward to going home TOGETHER. When I try and talk to him about flights etc (because I need to get mine booked) he says.. why are we talking about this again. Iv said ill come home, what now?! I think being judged comes in to it a lot. He came over here single (seen as one of the lads). Then when I came, we fell back in love and I saw a change in him (differnt to what he was at home) - maybe a front infront of his new friends. I think you could be right about being a male and going home for a female.

This is what concerns me that i stick to my word every time but it wont tell if he does until decemeber. I dont want to sacrifice too much more time to find out he isnt coming home. he promises ME he is sticking to it but cant tell his friends or family. why is this?

So we had a heart to heart and agreed December. That is something to look forward to for me and gives me an indication that this relationship is very important to him or he wouldnt come back. However, after this discussion, we went out with friends and they asked what our plans were. I said were going back in decmeber and my parnter looked very awkward in the situation.. he then continued to say.. well Ashleigh (me) wants to go back in decemeber, im not sure. When i got back i was so mad after the pact we had made. He said he still will come but hes not sure how we feels about it. He cant tell him family either and when his mum called the other day she asked 'are you coming home in decemeber?? i just heard you were?' He just said 'i duno". I have to book my flight back to perth after iv been home.. I keep going to book but want to book a return as it is much better for the money. My partner cant commit to book the flight back with me yet because of 'money'.. hmmm this is why i havnt booked to come back yet. I leave perth in 2 weeks!!!

Thanks for your advice. I think it maybe a good idea to come back. Dont want to give up too soon and regret it after all this hard work.

I think it all comes down to sacrifice, I would sacrifice living here for now to be with him but he isnt willing to come home yet. I can understand why it must be hard from ur side with your wife basically blaming you for being here. I have done the same in the past but started to realise this is my life and i make my own choices. I just find it so hard to leave...knowing we love each other.

maybe after a trip home to england I will see the advantages of being in aus and come back positive until december. I dont want to go all the way home, Him have to find somewhere to live again and then have to come back and start all over again. thats just more stress. My only concern is, if I come back... im just biding my time until decemeber and who knows if he will actually come back/be ready?!

As someone who would rather be at home in the UK I can see your side too. I havnt been forced to stay here but iv stayed because I want to stick it out for the long run. I do enjoy it here but I find it so hard to adapt to life here cus i dont have CLOSE friends, a brilliant career. It would all come with time I imagine but i think my negative attitude is making this harder.

Great response. We need to be happy in ourselves for this work. I have said to him that I definately wouldnt want him coming back to the UK if it isnt what he wants. Iv also mentioned that maybe we just want differnt things and sometimes its unfortunate like that. He says, well I want to be with you so I will move back to the UK and see how i feel in decemeber. Its been 2 years since hes seen his family and friends in the UK so he maybe completelt suprised. Im just wondering whetehr to stay by his side until december and try to appreaciate life here because it will only be another 6 months or go home and be happy?

I was with my partner for 4 years back in England, where we have both lived all our lives. I was relatively happy at home as i have a close family and was happy in my job. My partner however, had travelled aus before and came home due to a broken leg - which meant he could no longer work and wasnt coming home because he wanted to. This is when we met. To cut a long story short after 4 years, We decided to break up due to us both being young and not sure what we wanted and he moved to back Pertha few months later. Shortly after he moved, it really began to sink in with me that it was final and he had gone. We kept in touch regularly and before long, he asked me to come over. I booked a flight over to aus -which was a huge thing for me and came here 6 months later after quitting my job and selling everything. (I Booked a flight with a few stops off at differnt places so that if it didnt work out i wasnt stuck in Perth.) Originally I came on a working holiday visa and for just a year. I am now still in Perth nearly a year later, we are back together and in love, both permanent residents but I AM STRUGGLING so much to build a life over here FOR MYSELF. He however, is loving it, he came back here to meet friends that he met travelling and they now live here and intend to stay forever - so he has a very close group of friends that he has known for years! He has a great job that pays a fantastic wage. Hes also got into surfing. - which you can rarely do in the UK!! haha I have been from job to job, cant settle, miss home, forever comparing Perth to England. I really do think its great here - weather is amazing, lifestyle is so laid back. BUT ITS NOT HOME. I am due to go travelling in 2 weeks to complete the other stops on my flight so they dont go to waste... I have left it to the last minute because because I cant bare the thought of leaving him after coming over to be with him (didnt know it would work out). So basically, after my travels (lasting only 3 weeks), I go back to england. I was planning on coming back to perth after the visit but now I am starting to wonder whether this is a good idea....My partner got into a lot of debt when we broke up as he couldnt face it and was out with friends drinking at all oportunities. There is talk of us both coming home in Decemeber to settle (he will have paid his debt off as hes on a great wage here and possibly even have some savings to go back to england with). The problem is, he cant leave here due to this and if i stay im just constantly unhappy!! Its not healthy for either of us. DO I STAY IN ENGLAND WHEN I GO BACK?? (maybe keep a long distance relationship until december when he comes home??) OR MAYBE AFTER A VISIT AND SOME TIME APART I MIGHT APPRECIATE LIVING IN AUS FOR THE TIME I HAVE LEFT HERE (till decemeber). ANY advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.