Hey all,
im just after some information, feedback, anything really that doesnt involve a bias opinion.
6 years ago (this october) me and my family all emigrated to Australia from England. i was 14 at the time and being the stubborn teenager everyone is at 14, i dug my heels in and became really hard work for my mum and step dad. During the 1st 2 years here atleast. i shut myself off to the 'world' because i just didnt want to be here. simple.
Then a few years passed, i left school, moved out, got a taste of the real world. Made a life for myself here, moved back in with mum and dad (cause we all do that once atleast haha). Then out of nowhere, my family decide they want to move back to England... my mum ALWAYS plucked ideas out the air. Speacially when it came to moving, it was a different country every week!! so i sat on the fence for a few months. BUT sure enough, they were serious about going back to England, the house sale fell through twice, but they got there citizenship's and last August they all shipped off back home (England). much to my WHOLE families confusion, they were all dumbfounded that ME, the one that disliked being here the most, had infact decided to stay here. But, i did. and for the past year, i have continued to do so. Ofcourse i missed them, and it was hard at times. But i have a desire in me to do my own thing anyway by 18 i knew i wanted to travel america, and i recently got back from doing so, and am heading back next month to do some more travelling.
my thing is that im now just feeling like i exist here, im not living a life. in an ideal world America is where i want to be, but thats another story. my reasoning behind staying in australia was that i cant make the money in england that i can here. and everyone always bangs on about how **** it is for young people, bla bla bla.
but now im at the point where i dont want to be in australia, i spent xmas by myself and it was bloody awful. much like when i first arrived in australia at 14,im shutting myself off to everything because i dont want to be here, now i dont even know if i want to be in england, because i havnt been back since i emigrated here almost 6 years ago. But its where my family is, my friends that im still in regular contact with. i feel as though im missing that big part of me... iv got a nephew i have never even met.
so im just abit confused, and i am going back for xmas this year but im at the point now where its going to be a one way ticket. nothing is forever i can always come back to australia, i know that. i just have a weird sense of failure if i decide to go back? has anybody else had anything like this? or am i one of a kind?! haha..
ANYYYYYYTHING anybody has to offer me, ill gladly listen!
thanks so much!!