PomPrincesses

If you had PR and all the top ups that come with that in terms of state benefits you might be in a better position than you are currently.

Oh blimey I thought you could rely on them. Ok I'll get onto it on Monday - thank you

Personally I would think you would need more, as a single person in 1998 I was earning more than that and not living the dream.

My 457

It's just hard to understand some of it.

 

 

Anyway, i think you should definitely go back to the UK before they force you to

Its hard to friggin live it

I again, urge you then to seek immediate help. Message Alan who posts on here a lot from G Matilda. You are currently, as I read it, illegal. That can have massive implications. For all of you. Your visa no longer exists, so they can't just take it over. You would have to re apply, but as an illegal overstayed, that might not be granted.

 

Do not assume that just be asked to leave has no implications. At the moment, there is no reason why you all could not be picked up and sent to a immigration detention centre. In the circumstances, you would be subsequently deported, banned and Oz may make attempts to recover the costs. A LOT more than a simple flight. You need to treat this as priority number 1. You and you children really do not want to find yourself in a detention

 

we have spoken to DIAC along the way, they aren't going to deport us as it stands however once I leave maybe they will deport him who knows.

DIAC are aware that I haven't been working and he has, pending sponsorship.

No as I said he is working on a self employed basis

He got caught out and I scanned the computer with one of those spyware things, he would have carried on cheating and lying for the next 10 years I'm sure.

Anyway onwards and up

That post says more about you than it does me AJ

I left my job in January haven't worked since .... Have an offer on the table. He informed DIAC of the situation as at the time he was getting ENS and do they were fine with that. That has gone now because he was let go by that employer and they canceled the nomination.

Currently neither of us I guess have a visa but if I take the job they will take over the 457 which I'm sure will be fine and if its not then that's that.

I left my job in January and they haven't written to me, that nearly six months.

He can stay illegally for at least six months because of the backlog ..... I'm sure he'll get something sorted and to hell with his family eh ?

this is where the dilemma lies do I screw him before he screws me sort of

It's not always that simple is it though starlight. He could of course come to the uk, but that doesn't suit him so **** us we have to dance to his tune?

Thank you

we won't have anywhere to live as I refuse to return to the area we left from - the scene of the crime. And my mum who I think would reluctantly put us up is 200 miles away.

i should get a decent tax refund from oz and am owed a bit from the uk so hopefully I can scrape together a deposit for a nice house - something I can't afford here and get the kids into good schools so they settle down again quickly and I can then regroup.

i know for a fact I will thrive and he will flounder I've had him crying literally on me about everything falling part, the whole time knowing he got sacked for using company Internet and time to chat up some teen whilst I worked for the same company.

i just wish I hadn't picked such a **** for a father of my darling children

I would have thought if at all possible leave the past where it belongs and move on with OH.

It's simply not possible .... he had the best nights sleep in 5 years the night he told me - dumped it on my shoulders, the whole thing is beyond unsavoury, taking advantage of vulnerable young girls - legal but even so dispicable behaviour that no woman would be able to move on from, you'll have to take my word for it. I have three daughter who have friends to think of.

Well no need to worry about all that he's signing a stat dec to say I can take the kids at anytime.

The only reason i left the UK was for him, the kids and I were happy

I thought that the dependants couldn't stay if the main visa holder left?

Well yes that is true, so he either needs to sort out PR, sponsorship etc.

That said a friend of our just sacked a girl for stealing from him and has been trying to get her thrown, DIAC say they have a six month backlog so nothing they can do for now.

I am the main 457 visa holder, I have a job offer sat on the table, just not sure whether to take it up.

I thought you had 457 visa's? How can he be self employed?

Again, he is so ****ed, he shouldn't be self employed and if I leave it'll be a matter of time before they catch up with him.

If I stay I'll get another 457 and PR asap, but having divorced him he'll be screwed.

Paul I have nobody to talk to about this, our friends in Australia aren't close enough to discuss this with and friends back home just want to hear about how great the frigging weather is.

Thank you in advance to anyone that replies.

So "DH" since we arrived in Perth has revealed he has had three affairs in the UK. We tried counselling etc but the bottom line is he was unhappy and frankly he could never be sorry enough for me to let this go so he and I are over.

My dilema is now what to do about the children and Australia. I spent every penny we had coming over here to give him the chance to find work, gave up a £40,000 job because he simply couldn't find a job and I'd hoped he would work and I might get time to be with my kids here, that just hasn't happened.

He has no issue with me taking them back to the UK which in itself I think says all you need to know about the man.

He has agreed to pay 1/3 of his salary in child support no matter what, this will fluctuate as he is self employed.

We also agreed if I were to stay in Perth he would pay me whatever I would receive in government benefits to top up whatever I earn - around $1500

So in total for the next six months I would receive around $3,000 from him plus my salary of around $6,000, if I take the job ive been offered but of course that needs to cover childcare of at least $2,000 a month, food, rent, bills everything.

I'm not really asking if that's enough more would you take the punt on him a) staying employed and b) actually paying what he says he will ?

If I go back to the UK I've calculated I would be entitled to around £1500 in housing, tax credits etc and of course as soon as I could work I would, plus this $1500 from him in CS.

Of course I want the children to see their father, I think life as a single parent in the UK has the potential to be quite miserable and I have zero family support either way really. Maybe mum would baby sit every now and then but that would be it.

So do I risk him screwing up - he has had and lost two jobs in the year that we've been here, might not be his fault he'd hardly tell me if it was - or go back where we are potentially out of sight and out of mind and lets face it how would I enforce payment from over there if he didn't pay ?

The kids don't mind either way they want to go to the UK but they want their dad too. I'm so frightened of getting this wrong and damaging them by staying and it all going pearshaped in 6 months or going and taking them away from what might have been a better life for them in Australia.

I've considered it on the basis that the children get far more done with less of the whole, break time, lunchtime, moving from classroom to class room, assemblies etc. When you actually look at the time spent sat down learning anything in schools it's very little.

Home educated children that i've met have been years ahead of their peers, with fantastic social skills and very outgoing - probably because they never experience being bullied, left out and all the other shite that goes on un noticed/dealt with in schools. I'd probably want specialist tutors myself for languages and science.

I know local children who are up at 6am to do swimming, sports, a full day at school and then homework, they must be knackered, imagine if you could set your own pace and just concentrate the kids efforts on what they are actually good at. An individualised program.

I only wish I had the patience, maybe that'll come once I have all of my children of an age where they actually listen to me and follow instructions lol

I lived near Liverpool for 8 years and whatever it is you are missing I suspect it aint liverpool. Your family will always be your family and always in your heart but you'll create your own little unit with your boyfriend and then that becomes your priority.

Any chance you could bring that forward at all ?

I lived in Melbourne for 2 years in 1998 and came home in 2000 when I got pregnant to some aussie arsehole and had no confidence in my ability to be a single parent in Australia. Actually that would have been the far better place to be a single parent and would have stopped me meeting and marrying another arsehole but there you go.

Three weeks ago I truly believed i would be forced to return to the Wirral and it filled me with horror.