Flake

Hi all, 

I am wanting to return to the UK with my Aussie husband. 

Does anyone have any experience of obtaining a mortgage while their spouse is a on a limited leave to remain visa? 

Is it possible? Any implications? 

All info welcome! Thanks 

Thanks all, seems like not having permanent residency doesn't affect things too much very surprising but its great

Hi all,

My husband is Australian and I am English- we are looking into returning to the UK and we would really like to buy a house within a year of returning. My question is though as my husband won't have permanent residency - is it possible to get a joint mortgage?

I am still trying to work out why people say that.

 

Thirty years ago when I migrated to Australia, there was no question that Australia offered a more prosperous life, with cheaper housing and higher pay.

 

Nowadays, I don't think you can say Australia offers a better life.

 

- SOME people will find the weather is better (but it depends where they came from and where they moved to and how they handle heat/humidity);

- SOME people will find the pay is better (but it depends what their occupation is);

- SOME people will find they can afford a bigger better house (but it depends where they came from and moved to).

- SOME people will find the lifestyle is better (but it depends whether they like a beach/outdoor lifestyle).

 

Very few people would find Australia is "better" in EVERY aspect. It's just different, that's all, and those differences will suit some people and not others.

 

Australia offers the rare opportunity to live in a foreign country where there's no language barrier, so it's a good place to have a new adventure. That's it in a nutshell.

i was referencing my own life rather than making a sweeping statement overall so I think you misunderstood that.

Very different situation but very similar theme. On paper Australia offers a better life in so many ways but the heart wants what the heart wants. I guess it all comes down to how much your head rules over heart. No real advice except they do say you should only ever regret the things you haven't done. Think of it as an adventure and you always have the option of returning to Aus.

Is your husband entitled to live in the UK? I know reading other posts on here that there have been changes - something to consider

currentlu yes but who knows what they will do next with the policy's, it's infuriating!

We had a slightly different, but similar dilemma. We owned a house near my parents in the UK but had become tired and disillusioned with the area we were living in and felt the need for a change. We had previously lived elsewhere in the UK and considered moving back to a previously loved area or somewhere similar in the UK or moving to Australia to be near my OH's family. Moving to Australia would mean we would be worse off financially, but then moving elsewhere in the UK would also mean a much larger mortgage as houses in the area we were in were cheap. Having previously lived elsewhere in the UK I knew my parents wouldn't be visiting much (they didn't visit much when we were 5 minutes away either to be fair) and it seemed pointless living somewhere where we wouldn't be seeing much of either family. That, coupled with the fact that my mother in law was already in her 80s, meant we decided that a move to Australia would be the best move for us at that time.

 

I think this is a decision that only you can make. Is living in your own home really important to you or would you be happy renting while owning an investment property elsewhere to get on to the market? Do you feel a drive to move away from Sydney or do you really want to stay there but financially it's difficult? I wouldn't move just because it makes financial sense. I would move because it is the right thing to do for you at the time.

thanks for your reply, do you like it now you are here? The hardest thing having family on both sides of the world! It poses so many questions of where to be.

I do think you are right only I can make this decision, not sure if I'm ready yet though but it will happen at some point as it has to.

Hope you are settled in Aus x

.........you mention that extended family is something you want for your son....

.........perhaps for now that's your need to be happy.....

..........and owning a home might have to wait.....

...........life's about priorities.....

............what we need for our happiness.....the rest is wants....

..............to be met when and if we can.....

...............the best of luck ....X

Thanks Tink, hope it all becomes clearer moving forward. Right now I'm not changing anything in the hope of a miracle xxx

I'd decide what would make us happy as a family and opt for that.

 

I've never been one to want or need to live too near family so thats never been a deal breaker for me. Same goes for my husband. We've always done what felt right for us as a family unit. If its not proved to be the best move, we've just dealt with it, worked toward making changes and done what we needed/wanted to do to make it better. Be that another move or a change of job or some such, just gotten on with it.

 

If it comes down to you want to own your own property, I think you need to weigh up if you will be happier with life in Aus or the UK and if its Aus, will you be happy to move elsewhere that is more affordable? It would mean not seeing family so often and would you be ok with this? Or is it a deal breaker to be near family in either country?

 

I could not imagine moving back to England and moving back near my parents, even less so because my main drive was to own a house. Detest living in that part of the world and nothing would persuade me to live back there :unsure: But I'd happily settle elsewhere I do like in the UK. However, am happy in our part of Aus and no desire to move back so not even on the table there.

 

It really boils down to what is important to you and why. I don't think there is a right or wrong call or either is the better option, just comes down to where you feel you will be happiest and enjoy living life.

thanks so much for your response. Gosh I just don't know, I would like my son to have extended family networks as that's something I never had. I do really like Aus now and feel settled in terms of what it has to offer and the only thing going against living here are the house prices. I feel like if I wasn't near family here I would probably want to live in the UK but I fear that I have become so accustomed to Aussie life that I may not re-settle in the UK. I keep hoping for a miracle because as it is I'm quite happy but just can't afford to buy! :-(

thanks again for your response

Hi all,

well we we are in a conundrum. This is our back story: I'm English, DH Aussie and our son has dual citizenship.

We have family on both sides of the world.

We live in Sydney, and both have above average paid jobs, however we still cannot afford to buy a house in a reasonable area (reasonable defined as safe, tidy and within commutable distance to our jobs)

in in order to buy in Sydney we will need to move much further out and in less reasonable areas resulting in very long commutes 1.5-2hrs each way as standard.

Or we could move somewhere completely different in Australia and find new jobs etc but we would be away from our family who live here, but would own a property.

Or we could move back to the UK and go back to our old lives and be able to buy a house and be close to the UK family.

What would you do?

Hi all,

has as or is anyone applying for further leave to remain even though living and working overseas?

My husbands UK visa expires in October this year and had we been in the UK we would have been applying to extend this for another 30 months in order to proceed with the 5 year route to indefinite leave to remain.

We are now however, living and working in Australia.

They have told me that his visa is still current and valid and we can still apply for further leave to remain but the application has to be lodged WITHIN the UK.

so whilst they have stated this is an option for us they could not specify whether the fact that we were in the UK on a temporary basis (on holiday) would affect the outcome of the visa application.

Our plan is to return to the UK at some point but we cannot at the moment due to work commitments.

What I'm trying to avoid is starting the process all over again with visas but equally I do not want to invest the money to returning for a holiday and further application if they consider that our circumstances make our application null and void.

Anyone ne else been in similar situation?

Hey Flake.

I can't think of anything to say it suggest that hasn't already. What I do know is that you get one shot at his thing called life. Yes you made the choice to return to Aus, but you did it in the hope it would give your family a better life, and you did it like mothers do, at the expense of your happiness.

I think it's good that you've given the situation time, perhaps you could use this period to concentrate on you and do things that make you happy. Yes of course, son is number one priority, but doing stuff that makes his mummy happy can only be a good thing, right?

 

The very bestest of luck x

 

If I can make just one person smile, then I've made a difference.

thank you xxx

I think if you are really struggling your husband needs to take your issues on board and help find a solution before a point of no return or breaking point is reached. Him not wanting to is not good enough in my book. Its no good he just settles back into the old and familiar without appreciating it could be tough going for you and is proving so.

 

I find Aussie suburbia akin to Stepford Wives land and it bothered me greatly my first few times in Aus. I couldn't get why anyone would want to live like that. But many do. And even me now, 15 years or so on am actually living on the very outskirts of the suburbs and the city. I thankfully have something that suits me down to the ground and have open hills and countryside a stones throw from my door, so found what I wanted. However, our early months in the metropolitan area here were my idea of hell and we thankfully both agreed to look elsewhere to find something that suited us all. Not just hubby or me, but us both. Thankfully also my husband never wanted to go back to the area had had grown up in. And his family are scattered around the city so its not all of them living closer in surrounding suburbs or anything. Some are 45 minutes drive away across the city. Some are 20 minutes away. I consider this a healthy distance

 

As your little one grows there will be options for you so you don't have to resort to the mall along with everyone else.

 

Have you made friends, built your own social group? You can't rely on family to be your social life as it can be hit and miss. If your mood lifts when you have a bit of social time with the family, I think it would probably lift if you had friends to catch up with also. Can help a lot. Otherwise it can be rather isolating relying on family for entertainment and social life. Also when a child is smaller it can be harder to stay out for a longer time, naps or bedtimes come round and all that.

thankfully I have made friends, have a good job and essentially everything on paper is 'successful' I just can't get past the feeling of wanting to be home. I will be here for the next few years though, I made that commitment and I don't take that likely, will just have to see how it all pans out, I guess I'm lucky in some respects that my husband is seemingly open to the idea of returning to the UK

Hi All,

My husband has a Spousal Visa with limited leave to remain (on the 5 year process)

we are now currently living and working in Australia and his current UK visa expires in Octoner 2016.

The department of immigration has advised that the application for Further leave to remain must be lodged from within the UK. We will not be returning to the UK to live before this time but have enquired with them as to whether we can lodge the application while back in the UK on a temporary basis.

They have advised that this is not against the rules, it is possible, however they have to state it is up to the case officers discretion on whether its granted.

Has anyone else been in this situation and made an application For Further Leave to Remain while back in the UK on a temporary basis and if so what the outcome was?

Hold tight! Work on trying to improve one thing at a time. Could you move from Sydney to a lower cost base?

 

B

Unfirtunuely not an option for us, family and work commitments mean it's not possible

Leaving your support network with a child under three is never a good idea. I learnt that the hard way.[/quote

 

i don't really have a support network on either side perhaps more so in Aus which is what brought me back here. I just miss home and being able to raise my son in the way I know how. :-(

I haven't any practical advice to add @Flake, just wanted to send :hug:. But I also know from reading other posts and threads that you are not alone in how you feel, so try not too be too hard on yourself . We don't choose how we feel but we have choices when it comes to how we behave, and you are doing your best. Take care, T x

thank you so much, I really appreciate the hugs, it's a real comfort to know I'm not the only one. Xxx

Most likely, I should think. It's be preparing for the worst whilst hoping for the best! I saw he had a spouse visa when you are in UK before - had that expired? I thought they had a 2 year absence allowance but I probably dreamt that, but if it did have a re-entry window you could look at a decision so that he gets back on that visa. The gov had just imposed an even higher income threshold for Commonwealth workers to remain in UK (£35kpa) which might make sponsorship by his company a bit harder

it expires in October this year- have to be in the UK in order to extend it further (and I think be actually residing there rather than just visiting) maybe there's a loophole in that, not sure.

Its too soon to go back for so many reasons but work being the main one. He essentially took 10 steps backwards in his career the first time we went back to the UK, I can't do that to him again.

I think we will have to start again for his visa, and with that abide by all of the new legislation, his wage won't be an issue but mine will be for the fact I will likely not earn enough to be 'the 'sponsor' which is why we would be reliant on his work sponsoring him. These new rules really suck, I'm paying the harshest price for taking a leap of faith and I'm so cross at myself

we all have to be honest with ourselves as hard as it is sometimes, no ones life is perfect. As said by earlier posters a genuine timeframe will hopefully help you feel less trapped and able to get on with life with a bit more of a smile on your face :wink:

thank you :-)

Well 4 years almost to the day our adventure started and we arrived in the UK. We arrived at the airport with no accommodation booked so went to the nearest Travelodge and booked into that for a week. We then moved onto a mobile home down in the SW which was great and we ended up really enjoying ourselves. Our Aussie born and bred kids were almost 11 at the time and they just loved it and really did look at it all as an adventure.

From there we did the tour of real estate agents looking for a house and although we had planned on buying in Wiltshire or Somerset we ended up looking at a house in Herefordshire which our kids fell in love with. Because of this we put in an offer and had it accepted, less than 3 weeks later we moved in and the second part of the adventure started. The previous owner had done quite literally nothing to the house for close to 40 years so it was a blank canvas, a 350 year old blank canvas lol.

Fortunately the house was structurally sound as well as being perfectly liveable if somewhat dated.

Cars were bought, school was found and settling in started.

We didn't settle in quite immediately and we even spoke about a return to Australia but that was very short lived and we set about starting our new life in the country.

It is very easy to underestimate just how good living in the country really is, we were used to suburban life and it really was an eye opener.

As far as the practicalities of life in England well we are finding it cheaper overall, some things such as groceries, car insurance, general insurance and utilities are cheaper but council tax (rates) are higher and in fairness there is no comparison between our house here and the one we sold in Queensland. We also find telephone and Internet to be cheaper but TV more expensive by virtue of the TV license.

The area we live is beautiful, clean, safe and very low crime.

Our kids absolutely love it and rarely even mention Australia which in one way is a little sad as it is where I grew up and is Important to me but that may change as they get older.

The weather generally in the 4 years has been temperate, very little extreme cold and it isn't often we aren't able to do something outside if we want to.

Can I see myself back in Australia ? Not really BUT never say never.

For anyone contemplating the move 'home' rest assured the majority of the doom and gloom you hear is fantasy and just isn't reality.

You are living the dream my friend! Well my dream at least. So glad it's worked out for you, I hope to write this exact same post one day!

I won't believe that he is prepared to go until it happens though, can't help but think he said enough just to appease me for now.

Voice of doom here - yup, I'd say you've got yourself into a nice little pickle and you will probably find you have no choice so you effectively are trapped forever and it will be up to you as to how you survive. I would suggest seeking counselling together sooner rather than later and try to get some sort of compromise thing going on - eg as EW said a definite commitment for x years from you before reevaluation, a commitment to fund you a trip back whenever you need it from him etc. If you can get a sense of compromise then it does make it easier to handle. Even if your DH agreed to go with you, would he be eligible for a visa for UK (that's become a huge stumbling block).

 

Once you come to terms with the fact that you are trapped and have to get on with it, there are strategies to help yourself from going insane but they take work and it might be good to seek counselling for yourself and hopefully tap some CBT or ACT resources.

 

I've been where you are - not so early in the journey though I must admit, and you have my sympathy, I hope it all works out in the end for you!

thanks Quoll. Yep well and truly stuffed up. I feel like I woke from a coma and found myself here.

DH should be eligible at this point so long as I am working at the time of visa application lodgement, the other option is sponsorship with his current firm- thankfully they are international and have a couple of offices in London.

It it certainly won't be easy but I'm hopeful and will remain hopeful. That's all I can do. If all else fails I will go over as and when I can :-(

[/b]

I'm in a similar boat and there's a few other PIO members too who will be able to relate to your experience, so you're definitely not alone. I completely relate to your feeling of being trapped having been here myself for nearly 8 years now and never lost those feelings of alienation and homesickness. Providing constructive advice is hard because your range of options is pretty narrow. One thing that you didn't mention is how long you've been back in Australia? Setting yourself a timescale on making a decision might help. If say, you decide to stick it out here for 2 years then that represents a tangible period of time that you've given Australia and in that timeframe you may grow to love it/ like it/ just about bear it here - or you may not. Having made that commitment though and stuck it out for a designated period of time you'll be able to say quite categorically that you know what Australia has to offer and whether it's for you. That might be a useful bargaining tool when it comes to discussions with your husband about your future. You mention that you think that your husband might be open to returning to live in the UK in the future, could he give you a timescale with regard to how long he'd need back in Australia before he'd be willing to consider a move back to the UK? That might give you a goal to aim for and reduce your feelings of being trapped.

 

Wishing you the very best of luck. :smile:

thanks so much for your post, it's so hard isn't it, I feel like there should be a whole separate group for people in similar situations as its the hardest.

Had the conversation with my husband, he's genuinely gutted and frustrated but agreed to reassess in a couple of years and if we return; before our son starts school. I hope whatever happens it's the right thing

Can be very tricky but totally need to be had, just don't let it turn into an argument............ Nice and calm one night when child is in bed, also see it from his point of view even though this may differ from yours but atleast everyone getting their cards on the table is a start.

thank you, conversation has been had. He isn't happy (understatement) but has agreed to reassess in 2 years and if we make the move before our son starts school.

I feel bad as its out a strain on our marriage but I felt like I was lying by omission. Thanks for listening

I'm married to an Aussie with a young child but have a very different experience to you. Different people, different way of approaching things, doing things and all that. But hopefully I can offer some suggestions and things to consider at least.

 

Are there things you could change here that would help your mindset and how you feel about being here? We ensured we were on the same page in where we settled, that for the longer term view of things we did out utmost to ensure we got things right as we went along and if we didn't, we have worked hard to fix them well before the wheels came close to coming loose, let alone reaching falling off point.

 

You say you live in suburbia atm and don't like it, boring and motorway too noisy. Are there other areas you could explore with a view to moving to and improving your overall happiness location wise? I'd not live in certain areas around the city we live in and we opted for a specific area based on facilities, schools, access to the city when we want it and wildlife surrounding us etc.

 

Garden and spiders. Keep in mind many many kids have grown up in Aussie homes and gardens just fine. You perhaps need to try to relax a little about things and if you are staying in the house long term, make changes to the garden so it causes you less stress when your son plays. Our garden is probably your worst nightmare as it has loads of corners, shrubs, fences, rocks and more but our son is doing just fine out there. OK he is older now but still, education and informing when young is always good. If not, again, would a different house better suited to kids playing help?

 

Family. I'd try not to have such high expectations and to go with the flow more about it. It may be over time, as you settle in and build family friendships you'll find it better or that it changes.

 

Heat. I think this is a tough one and some people cope better than others. I don't think you need to write Aus off as a non starter because it gets hot in summer, just try to adjust/adapt your mindset toward it and accept its not the UK weather wise. Yes it is going to get stinking hot sometimes, yes suncream, hat and so on is needed but it doesn't mean you can't do anything for half the year or whatever. We still get out and about, do things and on the 40C plus days stay inside and stay cool. On those days and the mid 30's we love our early morning trips to the beach for a dip and being home by 10am and chilling. Then heading back down in the evening or putting the water slide out in the shade for the kids to play on. Or visiting the in laws and using the pool.

 

All up, don't throw in the towel if you had a goal and a plan together for this move. If certain things are not working for you, try together to make them work or make changes to see if it can help. Sometimes its tweaking things, sometimes its making big changes, but going on what you've said in your first post, the things you are complaining about are things that can be changed if you really wanted to. You can sit and keep complaining and finding yourself then complaining more about other things also or you could give it a big go to make changes and hopefully ones that are for the better for you and your family here. And if you are really truly unhappy after that, perhaps then its time to explore other options like a move back to the UK. But if you were up for moving here, perhaps were not prepared it's harder going than you had expected, then of course it can knock your confidence, find you struggling in some aspects and then this has a knock on effect and clouds even more, even the things that are good or could be good if you would let them.

thabk you for your reply. These are things I have suggested to my husband (moving areas etc, closer to a beach any beach!) but he doesn't want to. His parents are nearby and have to mind our son 2 days per week while -I work FT so he's in daycare the other 3 days) he grew up in this area and lived here until he was 27 so I think he just sees it as home. He also has to work in the city so moving further out isn't an option either.

As for spiders, so true I should relax more, but I guess hopefully that may come in time.

Heat is not my friend that's true, but no pool, no beach means on those hot days it's just spent inside shopping centres and it's so depressing! I'm hopeful that other activities will present themselves as my son gets older and is capable but at this point I just kind of feel like I'm not any better off here than I was in the UK.

I'm trying everyday to see the best in things and I do agree some days are better, when we do actually see the family and have a BBQ it's wonderful. But it doesn't happen enough and it makes me think we would probably get that quality time just by coming on holiday here. We won't be going for a couple of years yet as I promised to fight rather than flight and I will do my very hardest to make it work but some days it just gets on top of me :-(