scousers

On 03/10/2022 at 16:52, LucyH said:

Hi Everyone. I’ve just joined today! Can’t believe I’ve been here 17 years and never found this site! I’m really looking for some advice or other people’s experience of having lived here a long time and then moving back to the UK when you have a child/children. 
My son will be finishing school in 2 years so will officially be an adult. Despite being here since 2005, I have always missed home desperately. He was born here and has been back to the UK on holiday a few times with me but I am seriously considering going back there to live once he finished school. Ideally I’d like to live there for 9 or 10 months and then come here for 2 or 3 months to visit him. I’m a PR so there wouldn’t be a visa issue. 
Has anyone done this and how hard was it to leave? My heart is being split in two and I just don’t know what to do for the best. Any advice greatly appreciated. 

This could well be me in the next few years. We have lived in OZ 35 years and loved it for some of those years. Aus born daughter now 24 will not leave Melbourne. I however have been wanting to return home since she was about 8. I think i enjoyed my so much more in the UK than i ever have in OZ and i miss the lifestyle back home. My very elderly parents are here in OZ and most of my time is looking after them no but i feel i don’t  really live anymore. So, yes in a few years it will be do i stay or do i go and start a new life that i will feel energised by. It is a very hard decision. I feel for you 

On 08/03/2022 at 10:39, Toots said:

I remember Maccas, KFC in London 40 years ago.  Maccas was a bit of a novelty then.  I think KFC had been around longer.

I worked in KFC in the UK approx 1983

13 minutes ago, bug family said:

I know what you mean and really feel for you, personally, I am hoping that me leaving will only be for a temporary time in my children's  lives, they are still relatively young so as to get used to a new normal which is that of their dad living thousands of miles away, but seeing him every year to spend some good times together and maybe who knows living back in the UK when ever they please when they are slightly older, at least they will have the option...... your daughter would I am sure also adjust in time and possibly see you moving back home as another outlook and an adventure to be had....another option in life

The problem is as an only child i just cant leave her. She doesn't have a serious other

1 hour ago, Parley said:

You don't.

Thats why im still here.

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

You see, that's the difference in personalities. It's probably a character flaw, but there are some people (including me) who crave variety and change in their lives.   They are probably the people most likely to migrate to search for new experiences, and therefore they're going to prefer places which have the maximum potential for new experiences. 

That was me when i first came, i was always the first to do anything. But unfortunately my family followed me to to Melbourne which means i have been stuck here. Didn't like it very much when i arrived and really not keen after all these years. But have learnt to turn off all emotions until i become so frustrated, i think thats why i am talking about it today, sorry 

14 minutes ago, Lavers said:

Would your daughter not want to go with you?

No, she says absolutely not, strange thing is she seems more at home over there than here. But we have had the discussion many times and she says no. How do you leave your only daughter behind? 

2 hours ago, Toots said:

I don't live in a very large town and I don't need to be 'entertained' all the time.  I get what you mean.  I enjoy my friends' company and we do stuff together a fair bit and have a laugh.  Voluntary jobs keep me busy plus my animals.  Probably go out for dinner once a week   ............  go to see a film  ..........  nothing exciting I can tell tell you but the time flies by.  Husband is having a golfing weekend with friends at a town 140 km from here so I've spent most of the day spring cleaning whilst he's out of the way.  

You are really missing your old life with your probably lifelong friends.  Life isn't much fun without the good company of like minded friends.

How is your daughter these days?

I get you totally.  Life has been dull for a long time now living in Melbourne. . Missing the UK even more because its just not Christmas in Melbourne lol. 
my daughter is doing ok, she seems bored except when she spends time with friends, sometimes its alot of the time then she can go a few weeks and see no one. For a 24 year old it just doesn't seem like a life to me. She is seeing a physiologist so i guess she talks to them about things. It concerns me that she has basically been in therapy since she was about 15. Not sure how to make decisions for the future, it would be too hard to leave her here on her own but at the same time i don't want to stay living here for much longer. 

6 hours ago, Chortlepuss said:

The last time I was in Melbourne (a mini break with my daughter pre-Covid), one of the many things I loved about it was the number of activities that we ‘happened upon’ just by strolling around - sure there was an element of planning but we found a gallery opening and end of year celebration, a lovely rooftop bar to enjoy the longer evenings, the free comedy performance where Arj Barker popped in! -  the night market. We do have an arts scene in Brisbane which is improving but you need to rigorously plan - and be prepared for it to fade away in the early evening as Queensland bedtime rapidly advances! I’m not even a city person but loved the idea of a city buzzing away whilst we made our way back to the hotel - it reminded me of being in Brighton in the UK. I do wonder if I’d have been half as homesick if I’d have moved to Melbourne - No excuses, I was offered the choice and chose to go somewhere tropical and hot! 

Have lived in Melbourne 33 years now and it does become boring. There is alot to do but i think im sick of being entertained, i would rather live than be entertained all the time. Everywhere in OZ becomes boring after a while its down to the culture and the people in my opinion. I know my personality disappeared about 10-12 years ago

Sounds funny hearing them and us and i never would have thought of it that way until i found it just happening that way.  A good example is hubby’s best mate in oz, they have been best mates for 30 years now would not meet his best mate from childhood when he came out to oz, he was here for 4 weeks and the aussie mate made every excuse under the sun to not see us for those four weeks, really weird. Even his uk mate as he was leaving said its weird we never got to meet, we had no answer to that, they live about four streets away. As soon ss he left things went back to normal?

Football isnt in all families from Liverpool, some of ours follow but i would say only 50% though. Never followed it here or there, no interest.

I think at the time it was a huge shock when they let me down especially after some of the times i had been there for them. One in particular i had given work to in at least two jobs when she was on Her knees basically and the same one i gave multiple jobs to her son when she said he was suicide, he has done quite well for himself but she no longer speaks to our family, lol.. you got to love people like her, 28 years we where “friends”! Tbh very glad she has gone. The worst thing is it has made me really cautious and i don't like who i have become, it is always a huge relief when i get back to the UK, i can breath!

5 hours ago, Marisawright said:

I don't think this is anything to do with Aussies vs Poms.  It's all to do with the friends you make as a young person and the friends you make as an adult. 

I think this is something most migrants miss.  Talk to anyone who's lived in one country their whole life, and their closest friends are always the ones they made in school or university, or when they were young mums.  That's just the way life works - those bonding experiences are what make fast friendships.  People do make deep friendships when they're older, but it's much more difficult, wherever you live.

You may well be right, i know the bonds i have are very different to the ones i left behind.

On 25/08/2021 at 05:11, MARYROSE02 said:

Liverpool in NSW over Melbourne. I agree though I doubt that the people are any different.

On 24/08/2021 at 11:05, bug family said:

Yep totally agree scousers, I work with a couple of Liverpool girls and they brighten my day every time, I have a real laugh and a good chat as there has always been a strong connection between North Wales (where I am from) and Liverpool

3 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

As a loyal Sydneysider I'm duty bound to regard Melbourne as the hole at the end of the Hume Highway but it still seems sad that after thirty two years you have not made any connections with either Pommies or Aussies.

Without Googling I'd bet anything that both "Reds and Blues" have their chapters in Melbourne so even if you hate footy (triple sacrilege in Melbourne) you could be going to watch games twice a week and mixing with other Scousers.  I don't support either team but I know where they go in Sydney if I had a craving to be amongst Scousers, or Mancs, or y local team, Saints, though I follow Spurs and we have our pub too.

Liking AFL and cricket gives me two other "ins" and my NRL team is the Storm and they are firmly established in Melbourne too.

I suppose if I.missed the sound of darkest Hampshire yokeldom I could go to a few Saints's games but it's a horrible accent, dropped "hs", dropped everything.  "Ere, Mush, I'll see you lai'uh, Pee'uh."

I have made “ good “ contacts in Melbourne i must have sounded like i hadn't however its just not the same. Have lots of aussie friends however its an interesting way of being friends, once i realised they where different was about 15 years in i started to watch, lots of back stabbing and fallings out. I learnt years ago never open yourself up to them, only did it twice to who i thought where my best friends both turned on me, still good friends but i watch what i say. Never ever be honest with an aussie on how you feel is now my way of being.  Interestingly i have only fell out with one person ( not my doing) but i watch the others omg they are crazy in a weird sort of way, my analysis is that they are bored and need to create drama. So onto uk friends, so easy, so much fun when not in lockdown, really enjoy these people full stop. What i miss is when you need to really talk i have to call the uk and speak to old friends they do the same keep me in the loop. Have a gorgeous Liverpool friend here who i would call bestie but because of other experiences here i know i am cautious but wish i wasn't. No, don't like sport haha

On 24/08/2021 at 11:05, bug family said:

Yep totally agree scousers, I work with a couple of Liverpool girls and they brighten my day every time, I have a real laugh and a good chat as there has always been a strong connection between North Wales (where I am from) and Liverpool

Totally agree, i really miss those i worked with in Liverpool UK, its been 32 years now and still in touch with many of them, here in Melbourne you leave a job and never here of the people again.the humour too is missed very much

On 27/05/2021 at 14:38, SWMOY04 said:

Made me chuckle...

 

I wasn't implying it was a competition.

 

But I get you 

 

Melbourne vs Liverpool... For me, it's Liverpool all the way. 

 

Melbourne vs London... Melbourne

 

Melbourne vs any "small" city for me, Melbourne will always lose. 

(I can't define "small"... But Liverpool is probably the "biggest" city I can tolerate) 

Agree, i am from Liverpool but live in Melbourne, its the people that make the difference , its Liverpool for me

I left home @ 20 and bought a house with hubby , we only lived there for 18 month's then came to OZ. I think the thing i struggle with is i have always been best friends with my mum. We have only ever had 2 disagreements and i remember them clearly, both times i was at fault.  I just don't understand why my daughter makes it hard when we could just be enjoying life. Sorry for my whinge

My daughter is seeing psychologist and physchiatrist but i have not been seeing anyone. My daughter tells me i irritate her , i asked her how do i irritate her and she says just everything .She is now 22 and its not getting any better. I have basically given up, she needs to live her own life i think if she moved out it may help her face so realities if life.

I feel like we have just been unfortunate, everyone else seems to think it has been a good move for kids. I only have one daughter and i thought when she was about 8 that i didn't like how i saw the teens here, but family who live here where all convinced this would be better for her. She was a very timid and shy girl and would never put herself out there. She went to private school and got a good education but absolutely hated it but at the same time would not move schools, i tried to move her a few times. Because she found school so stressful has no thoughts on going to uni. She has had a job since leaving school but she could be doing so much better but i guess she is only 22 so there is time. She has been going to psychologists since about 15 , i feel i stuffed her up by having depression from homesickness, who knows, all she says is she is very angry! She was a delightful girl until about 17-18 then we started to have clashes alot. I find her way of thinking is nothing like the families and we always end up arguing, i now avoid talking most of the time. This makes my depression so much worse at times. I really regret bringing her up here i know back home we may not have agreed on things but at least i would have felt more grounded. I have just about give up tying to have a decent life here its just too hard! Been here over 30 years and wanted to go home for the past 15 years approx. 

has anyone regretted bringing kids up in oz?

6 hours ago, Parley said:

If below zero is fine then ok.

No way would i consider that weather fine.

Want anywhere near 0 , think it was mostly around 8-12 most days.days out and no jackets in the Feb

On 22/09/2020 at 07:43, Chortlepuss said:

When I moved to Brisbane 13 years ago, a primary motivation was the climate. I loved it at first and still enjoy the winters here. I have been back to SE UK a number of times, including once for a year. I was never really hampered by the weather in the UK  (once too chicken to drive in light snow). A key reason for me to return to UK now would be climate. I dread the summer here and all the constraints it imposes (aircon, driving, staying inside). The idea of throwing on sturdy boots and a warm jacket to go for a brisk walk followed by some decent beer in a welcoming pub now seems like a distant fantasy. I never dreamed UK winters could be preferable to Qld summers! I think I needed to get my craving for heat out of my system and would love to retire back home but sadly trapped here by family commitments 

Sounds very familiar, would love to return to UK. I was there in nov and feb 2018-2019 the weather was fine!

3 hours ago, Bulya said:

So why haven’t you moved from Melbourne suburbs?  I spent 2 years there in the 70’s and the only places I can think of as worse are Darwin and Rockhampton. These comments never make sense...

All my family followed me here, then i had a daughter here. They all wanted to stay here at the start which i didn't,  as time went on i guess i gave in to them. Now hubby and daughter would rather stay here permanently but just dont think i can, its got harder and harder. Currently looking after very elderly parents who live 2 mins away.  Once they are no longer around i don't think i will be able to do it then.

On 15/03/2019 at 15:56, Gbye grey sky said:

Agree with most of these but definitely not the case on those two highlighted where I live in SE Queensland.  Merging is easy.  Pull away at green lights is invariably painfully slow, and ise of the car horn is almost non-existent.

Also agree totally! They see it as a failing if they allow some in in front if them whilst driving!

Only in Qld

On 20/09/2020 at 05:39, Home and Happy said:

True..when we left U.K. we thought we would be out in the Perth sun every day, but sadly the novelty wore off within weeks.  We are out far more in the U.K.  Live up on a hill above a beautiful village, amazing country walks, forest walks, great village pub serving great beer and home cooked food and in winter they have a rip roaring open fire on the go and I love nothing more than sitting by that fire with a brandy or a malt whisky and pint of Tennents on a cold evening.  A short drive away, we have a big town with a 24 hour supermarket, great pubs, live venues, great shops, clubs for our hobbies (impossible to find down there). After 8 years on a baking hot suburb bored to death,  the U.K.feels like the greatest place ever.

Oh... your words sounded just how i feel although I've now been 32 years! Would give anything to go home. I have always pulled myself together and found the next thing to keep me going but just don't want to do that anymore. Your life back home sounds just perfect to me. Im sitting writing this on a very hot night in Melbourne thinking i am so over this heat and the boredom of the suburbs, there is just nothing to describe it is there.

Hi Fergie.... i think if you really want to go you should go. Staying for others does not work believe i have done that, it is no good at all. Make your plans and just look forward who knows what is around the corner, you need to live for you.