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jenki last won the day on March 23 2009

jenki had the most liked content!

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About jenki

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  1. Its sooooo nice to know that others feel the same as me! We moved out in 2008, I was ready for the adventure but as soon as I got to oz friends and family in the uk started sharing their bad news with me and I felt like I needed to be 'home' with them. Its fair to say that early on I'd made up my mind. Such a shame! Hubby was happy and enjoying his easier work/home life so I decided that he should stay, we should separate (or something) but that I needed to be back in the uk. Thankfully he's a wonderful man and we're still together (although how bad to I feel for putting him through such hell?!?!?!). Now we hardly ever see him as he's working so hard and has a long commute, poor thing he's so stressed. I comment about the weather here being rubbish and how we're so over-crowded, too many people, too many cars etc and he mumbles about 'we had it better in oz' - he's so right. I suggested that we think about going back, its been on my mind for a while now. Coming back was great, seeing friends and family was lovely but that has all worn off, I hardly see the old friends that I'd missed and the family politics is getting worse as time goes on. Hubby would pack his bags tomorrow but he's worried that I'll go nuts again and doesn't want to go through that (me neither). We'll have to wait and see what we do...... I'll be following PIO to see how ping-pongers get on second time round. Good luck to the OP!!!!
  2. When I got to oz I couldn't settle easily and felt very homesick. I was home with the kids and hubby out working, it was pretty lonely not being able to pick up the phone and hear a friend's voice or pop in for coffee. It didn't help that I kept looking at PIO and finding people who agreed with me (about the differences in oz v uk), even met with one girl and we'd meet and discuss how we didn't like oz - soooo not a clever thing to do. I've been back in the uk a few years now and we're discussing trying oz again. Truth is I know I didn't give it long enough and hubby loved it, for him it was a much better work/life balance than in the uk. I also followed my friends on facebook constantly and felt that I was missing out time with them. These days the friends that I missed so much I hardly ever see and its not because they live far away! Try to make the most of your time in oz, always remind yourself why you left the uk in the first place. I just think that if you don't give it long enough you'll end up wondering 'what if...' which isn't so great.
  3. jenki

    Was moving back to the Uk a mistake for you?

    I don't think I'd call it a mistake but I know I didn't give oz long enough! I was in oz for about 7 months. Reasons for leaving were many inlcuding feeling a bit suffocated in my relationship, kids not being challenged in their oz nursery and missing friends, family and familiarity, especially when friends and family were going through ordeals in the uk and I was in oz unable to help and support them. Been back over three years now. Hubby loved oz and would have stayed had I been happy to but I didn't want to. The first year or so back were great but now we're thinking of going again. All the same issues are still here (uk) for us, including a lot of family politics. All the friends I was so busy missing are not really part of my life anymore. For hubby work in oz had a much better work/life balance and here we hardly see him. When I get the chance I'm on PIO trying to find out how ping-pong'ers feel!!!
  4. jenki

    Six months in Oz - reality has set in

    amandab & treesea I also found that the way mothers socialised was different to the UK (this is my opinion anyway). I was often told that I should call someone if its nice and we could meet in the park but considering it was winter it wasn't very 'nice'. I guess in the UK we're used to rubbish weather and so make plans to be indoors (each others houses and soft plays) but in oz it didn't seem to feel the same. I too felt that the friendships were also only superficial and that I wouldn't be missed or called to see if I was ok if I hadn't been seen for a while. Only one ozzie mum was a bit different and more welcoming, she'd lived a year in the UK so was always happy to chat about England and was aware how far it felt and how different it was too.
  5. jenki

    Feeling really homesick.

    The only advice I can give is to keep trying! I would chat to lots of mums in the park but never got any further than that with them. One of them told me about a lovely playgroup that she went to and what a great bunch of women they were but when I went I absolutely hated it and found the women cold and distant! I went to a local nursery to try and get my kids in and literally at the door met a lovely lady who became a good friend. We're still in touch even though I left oz in the end. Just remember that their way of doing things in oz is different to the uk. I remember meeting mums who would say that i should call them on a nice day and we can go to the park, I always thought 'what about a not nice day?'. At least you've always got PIO to share stories with others who'll understand! Good luck and keep your chin up!
  6. jenki

    Did returning home lift your sadness?

    Hi there Wow, reading your post brought back memories. I was just 'not myself' in Melbourne. I thought it'd be easy to meet people coz I have kids, I did meet a lot of people and made a few friends but still just didn't feel right. After 8 months I came home (with my kids) and my husband finished the year of his contract. He was happy there - mainly because the job/work/commute was better for him so we had him around for more family time. Socially it was different and strange for me. Everyday living too. Generally 'different' for me didn't feel good. I've been back in the uk about 17 months and usually feel glad to be back. Sometimes I wonder what might have been (especially as hubby was happy in oz) so I look at PIO, which doesn't necessarily help the confusion. I think hubby would go back tomorrow. On a day to day basis I'm happy I came back. I have all my family and friends around and all the familiarity. Last week one of my kids broke her arm and I was so relieved to be in England and know where to go, not to mention the support available to me should I need it. BUT that's me and my family. What's right for you, only you know. There were other issues that may have affected my time in oz (like my mother becoming unwell at home and friends going through traumas etc) for me the pull was to go home. If you stay it may be worth seeing someone like a councillor to ease your mood and if you leave you'll be able to say that you tried and it wasn't for you. I hope that you are able to find your answers and wish you luck on your journey. Take care.
  7. Great news London Girl! Good luck on your return, let us know how you get on!
  8. jenki

    So who HAS returned to the UK & been happy?

    Are you seriously telling me that someone should decide on moving to Australia based on Neighbours or Home and Away??? You're joking right? I also knew pretty soon that it wasn't for me but I'd done lots of reseach. I totally agree that you can do all the reseach (even read all the pros and cons on PIO) but nothing is as real as getting to Oz and living that life!
  9. Hi London Girl I've read some of your other posts and feel like I wanted to comment this time. Firstly I want to say well done to you for looking for advice and for going to see the doctor. I know of other friends who have also taken tablets to improve their state of mind and I know that you have to give the pills time to work. In my opinion, I wouldn't go anywhere if I were you. You had reasons for leaving the UK in the first place, then reasons for leaving OZ, now back in the UK again you've got reasons for leaving - I wonder if in time you may have reasons for leaving NZ too?! I think you should stay put (as others have suggested), give your tablets more time to work and perhaps find a councillor to try and help you clear your head. Maybe once the tablets are working and you're feeling a bit better then it might be a good idea to think about going away again. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear but one thing you can guarantee on PIO is everyone's honesty. Good luck with whatever you do.
  10. jenki

    Six months in Oz - reality has set in

    I feel for you that aren't happy in oz, the days seem to go by so slowly! I remember. In brief my story: we moved to Melbourne May 08 and I came home with the kids in the December (hubby followed later). I pretty much instantly felt the effect of the move to oz and hubby didn't really get it, he went to work everyday and all was normal to him. For me life was lonely and I just wasn't happy. I kept the kids busy and active, we made lots of friends. I had a party for my kids' birthday and the house was full of people yet I still felt alone. I didn't have any real bonds with anyone. People didn't get my humor. It was all so empty. Like someone else said the neighbours were friendly etc but there was something missing. The days for me just dragged by so slowly. There were many people on PIO in a similar state to me and a lot of the advice was along the lines of "you're depressed, go to the doctor and take something". I knew that I didn't want to take pills to make me happy. We've been back in the UK over a year now. My kids are thriving in their school. We still see a lot of our old friends and have made some new. The family are around to see the kids grow up (baby sit too, lol). On the whole I'm pretty happy and time just flies. Occasionally I have doubts but that's mainly led by my husband who is missing oz. He enjoyed the job, it was the same level as here but had an easier work load and better commute. The uk still has its problems but my friends and family and all things familiar are here. I never thought that the move would have affected me the way it did but then moving so far round the world is a massive move and anything is possible. I don't hate Australia, its just not a place for me to live but I'm glad I went and had the experience, at least now I know and wont always wonder! We're all different and thing affect us all differently. One thing I will say is to keep coming back to PIO, it was an amazing support to me and a great comfort for me knowing I was not alone in how I felt. Good luck.
  11. jenki

    So who HAS returned to the UK & been happy?

    I'm back in the UK. I really struggled in Australia, was there 8 months and just didn't settle. Time was so slow for me I wasn't stimulated and definately wasn't happy. Been home for nearly a year (gosh, can't believe it's already been a year). I'm happy here and so are my kids. The weather this summer admittedly was rubbish but we kept busy anyway. I'm happy to be home with friends and family around. Good luck to all of you with your decision making.
  12. jenki

    goodbye Australia

    Hi Nikki I just wondered how you're doing now you're back. We've chatted before on other threads all about going home (where I am now). Things for me are really good now I'm back in the UK, the 7 months I did in oz were long and slow and the 7 months since being home soooo quick. Australia was ok but no great improvement on our families lives! My kids are back at their old nursery and settled in like they'd never been gone, they're thriving there. Friends and family are the same and we've even made a load of new friends along the way. I think I told you that my husband had stayed in oz, well he's back now and back to work. He says that even the underground seems to have improved (or maybe he'd imagined it being worse than it is). We rented our house out and thankfully all it needed was a good clean. As people have said the weather here is going to be great this summer so we're in no rush to go anywhere. We promised to make the most of what we've got here and we're trying. We've been in to London (Hamleys) with the kids, gone to Manchester for a weekend visiting family, we're planning a weekend in France and much more, it's all so easy as it's on our doorstep! Anyway, this wasn't meant to be about me and my story - how are you Nikki???
  13. jenki

    I'm in pieces!

    Hi Nikki I just wanted to say that time will fly when you're at home and your husband will be back before you know it. I wasn't happy in oz and came back in November with my kids, my husband came for a visit around Christmas, he gets home next week and we're all so excited. Anyway the time here has gone so quickly, especially compared to Australia where it felt like time stood still. I got my girls back into their old nursery (emailed from oz) and they are their old selves again. They were bored and not challenged in their oz nursery and became quite frustrated. I used to ask them what they'd done and who they'd played with in oz and they'd always say "nothing and no one" which they'd never done in the UK nursery. Now back at the uk nursery when I ask what they've done the list is endless and so are the names of who they play with, not to mention the happy mood the come out in. Family and friends are still here and happy to have us back, some friends' lives have changed and we don't see them as much but we've got a new load of friends too. We have been so busy since being back and it hasn't stopped, it's been great. Like many have already said, I appreciate everything about the UK, even down to the weather, it's just great to be back. As for having everything on our doorstep, it's so true and we've been making the most of it all. I now know that Australia isn't for me. I'm glad I did it becuase I won't always wonder and it was an experience. Good luck with everything.
  14. jenki

    After hating all things British....

    Hi Georgie I agree with Nigel, real friends will be happy to have you back and won't judge you! People that don't really know me did ask "what you came back to England from Australia?" and I've told them that a year ago I would have asked the same question, now I know what it's like and it's not for me, that usually shuts them up. Most people have actually said what a brave thing I've done, both going halfway round the world having never been and not really knowing anyone and also coming back and admitting that it wasn't for me. I'm glad that I did it, despite the disruption and expense! I won't keep wondering for a start and I'm a lot more grateful/accepting of things in the UK. In life you have to make the most of our every situation. We are all different and what works for some doesn't work for others. The most important thing in life is that we are happy.
  15. jenki

    After hating all things British....

    Hi Georgie I didn't hate all things in Britain but certainly had my gripes with the UK. I had hoped that moving to Oz would change life for us in a good way, give my husband a better work/life balance so that he could spend more time with us, wanted the better weather and more outdoor living for the kids etc. We moved to Melbourne and it wasn't for me. After 7 months I came back to the UK. Yes, I had to tell people that I'd made a mistake but I figured that I'd rather do that than stay in oz just coz I didn't want to admit that I was wrong. I've been back in the UK for 4 months now, time has flown and I've been so happy to be back. The winter snow was beautiful and the spring weather now is amazing! There are still the things here that I didn't like before I went but everywhere has its problems and for me I'd rather be home with friends and family than halfway round the world and not happy. I hope this answers your original question.