Athena

19 minutes ago, Display name said:

Hi

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. Some comments I can’t see here but I saw in my email notifications overnight which has triggered me to update this. I was called selfish and immature in those comments. I appreciate that might be the view, but I don’t think I’m either. I was a new mum who suddenly lost a father I couldn’t say goodbye to in a country I’d never agreed to move permanently to, and it was hard.

We moved home post Covid. It was the best decision we made. My husbands company is still operational with a fantastic partner running it. We are all happy right now, and can move back to Australia if we want to after giving things a go here. If we decide to stay there eventually, then at least I can do it with closure. It was the best decision, it was tough, but it’s right for now. 

I am glad to hear you made the brave move and it worked out!

We are very much in the same position, moved back to the UK a little over 2 years ago. It had its challenges, but it was absolutely the right thing for us. Life feels like an adventure again and while I never say never, not looking back at all.

Thanks for all the responses, we are probably going to sell it.

Hi 

We have a BBQ that we purchased last year for around aus$3500 and are debating whether we should take it over to the UK when we move in a few weeks. It is a really good one, and pretty big. Wondering if that gas is compatible with UK / or easy to convert.

Not sure how much it will increase our shipping cost by but likely +$500. We are using shared shipping to keep costs down and leaving most of our big furniture as it was good but has aged, taking only higher value items.

Any views on if it is worth shipping or just getting a new one over in the UK?

Thanks.

So that's it, coffee, large parking bays and laundry. That makes me feel very assured about the return to the UK.

Hi there,

I absolutely feel your pain. I have been here for 8 years and have been pining to back for most of that time, getting stronger every year.

After years of trying to convince my partner of the positives of moving, and explaining my pain in staying. He finally said ok, let's give the move a go. It came as a huge surprise.

Now that we are starting to plan for our move, (perhaps late this year or next). There is a part of me which is seeing the beauty of Australia. Leaving our comfortable lives here to start again is daunting, so much more than it was when I was just dreaming of returning. Suddenly both options sound good.

My point in sharing this is, don't give up on your partner coming round, find the positives, do the holiday back when you can. I found something he loves that he can take advantage of there (In our case a change of career for husband).

Everyone's circumstances are different, but don't feel bad about the sacrifice he would make moving back, you have made a big sacrifice too.

Replying to my own post here, incase anyone else is in a similar situation.  I have found out from a visa agent, I don't need to apply for citizenship for my children, they are citizens automatically. I am not british by decent as my husband is, but by naturalisation. 

On 24/10/2020 at 22:16, bug family said:

Just wondering, at what stage did you realise that Australia was the place that you wanted or did not want to spend the rest of your days ?

For me before I had even set foot in Australia I knew and voiced, that I would want to return home to the UK one day,  As a couple we set a goal of 10 years then we would return, with hindsight this was a bit naive I now realise this, as a lot can and has happened in the 9 years we have been here, for example, we are no longer living as a married couple (we are like best buddies and share the house still), my wife no longer would consider going back home, we also have two children now, where as we came with only one,  and finally all my wife's family now live here, so she is settled......but me...I will still go home one day of that I am sure, .........................what about you?

I came here excited and completely sure  I would make Sydney home, but found it pretty hard to settle in the first few months. When we did buy a home, find jobs we 'liked, I felt like I had invested too much to even think about giving it up. 8 years later...and almost everyday I think about returning to the UK.

With my husbands family being Australian, the move is still very much a one way conversation. However, despite our roots being planted more firmly here (kids, finances, comforts) my desire to return to the UK only increases.  

I am working on setting up the admin to make the move smoother, and chipping away at my husband slowly. 

Hi,

I am looking to apply for UK citizenship for my daughters. My husband and I are both British by decent, not birth, so they don't automatically qualify for UK passports, hence the need to apply. I have read up that it is form MN1 section 3.2 that fits their circumstances.

Does anyone have any recommendations; should I do this application myself or go with a visa company.

And, any recommendations on good visa companies that assist with UK applications.

Thanks.

On 13/01/2020 at 21:31, Display name said:

Hi

I really need some advice. My now husband and I moved over from the UK 8 years ago. We had never planned in staying so long but before we knew it we got married (back in the UK) and now have a baby. When my baby was just 2 weeks old, my father suddenly died and we were on a plane back with my tiny baby to attend his funeral. I came back saying that I would give it a year before making life changing decisions. I’ve done that now but I cannot settle. My head is always back home with the remainder of my family and now widowed mother. My husband gets annoyed as I’ve brought up moving back so much, and has agreed that we will go, but there is no solid plan in place and it makes us fight all the time. He says he wants to save more money but how much is enough? I’ve suffered losing one parent and making that journey we all dread having only given birth. I was broken and I need my family at home to heal and be happy. My husband will need to close his business that he built from scratch here and reminds me of that. I have lovely friends here that I would miss dearly and Australia has given us so much which I’ll always be grateful for. We have also worked our butts off here.  But what good is everything we have if we don’t have our family? I’m scared to have another baby because I could never go through what happened at the start of my sons life again. Pleas help or give any advice you can. I’m so confused and don’t know if I’m being selfish or if my thoughts are justified. Thank you.

Curious,  has there been any progress since you posted this back in Jan.

I am in a very similar position. 8 years here and ready to go back, but husband has all his ties here.

On 09/10/2020 at 22:52, Quoll said:

Not unusual, unfortunately and one of you will always be missing out on what you want out of your life - mixed marriages were ever thus.  One thing to consider is whether, in fact, your Australian husband will be able to move with you to UK should you decide to leave.  If he doesnt have a UK passport then he will need a visa and if he doesnt have UK ancestry, you could be dependent on a spouse visa which has a financial constraint (you have to be earning £18.5k or have 62k+ in savings - and that can be hard to prove. 

Mixed marriage here and after 32 years I was desperate to return but my Aussie husband said NO WAY, until he saw my elderly parents and said "we cant leave them here alone" and so in 2011 we didnt return to Aus from our UK holiday - not until March this year, that is.  Best thing I ever did, I must say and the DH enjoyed it too! My only regret was that we didnt do it 20 years ago when we would have been able to build our careers there and probably wouldn't have had a family, split across the world (one son UK, one in Aus)

Visas are not an issue we both have both UK and Australian passports. 

Age is certainly a factor, we arein our early forties, so better to do it I  the next few years as work will be much harder down the track. Just wish he was as keen as me, it would make the decision slot easier.

19 hours ago, FirstWorldProblems said:

I can emphathise.  You are in a very difficult position. 

My Australian wife moved here to the UK with me in 2002.  She struggled to settle initially but then came to really love being here.  If it wasn't for family, she'd never go back.  But family is important and she is close to her large family and so every annual holiday is followed my a mini bout of depression (understandable) and in a few years time we are going to be moving back to Sydney permanently.   I do not look forward to it.  There's much to enjoy there but I am more attuned to the benefits of the UK.  But I am determined to re-program my mindset so that by the time I get there I'm excited to take advantage of all the positives and not focus on the other things.

No one can really give you perfect advice because all our circumstances are different.  Your husband might love it here in which case it's all going to work out great.  But he might not and in that circumstance, one of you is always going be be heavily compromised, no matter where you live.  If you're in a position to give it a try and move back if it doesn't work, then perhaps that's the only way you will know.

I wish you well and hope it works out.

[edit: just to add, the sooner you can give it a try the better - we have found that the kids schooling really offers few windows of opportunity.  By the time they start secondary school, you really don't want to disrupt their education and that then means you're locked in until the youngest is 18]

Thanks, I certainly hope my husband would come to enjoy it, we had 5 good years there together before coming here, so there is hope. Good point about the kids

 And good luck with your move to Aus.

12 hours ago, MaroubraAndy said:

Hey there,

Your story resonates with me massively. I’m English but spent 10 years in Oz and after ALOT of deliberation moved back to the UK with my wife and kids in 2018. We loved our lives in Sydney but there was just an itch that we wanted to scratch before we settled for good.

After 10 years in Sydney, the nostalgic vision that I had of the UK didn’t match up to reality. My old UK life was essentially gone and we were left to start afresh which in honesty we’ve found really hard.

Obviously that’s not to say you won’t love it back here and as per one of the other posters mentioned, sometimes you just have to give it a try and see how it goes.

Personally, I’ve accepted a job back in Syders and we’re planning to return in the new year!

 

Thanks, these stories really do help. If hubby was as keen as I am, I would do it in a heart beat, but there is a 50/50 chance it won't play out as I hope. So much to think about, and won't be in the next few months with Covid.

 

 

 

I have been in Australia 8 years and have a good life in Sydney. Two daughters under 3 and an Australian husband I met in the UK. 

For the last two years I have found it very difficult to think of this as my long term home. I want to return and my husband doesn't, but claims to be open to it post Covid.

I miss the culture and real diversity of London, and lots of the small stuff too. I find it very hard to forge real friendships here, and miss my friends and family.

My husband would miss his family and the lovely home we have built, if we moved back.

It is a very comfortable life, I want to love it, but just can't stop missing the UK. I worry my nostalgia is is creating 'rose tinted lenses'

Any one in a similar position or has already made the move back?