Depti72

Nice positive comments but, interestingly, nobody with first-hand experience of Darwin. Is there anybody there? :err:

Yeah we're all here, just trying really hard to say "something"....... true, life is what you make it, I just hope you are good at doing that.

Hi

I have had a string of replies to my "welcome" post. (not particularly helpful) I should have come straight here!!! We are 74 and 78 respectively (both had birthdays recently ) We have the same problem, our daughter-in-law and our grandchildren (whom I no longer see) aged 20, 18 second marriage 12 and 10 on the Sunshine Coast where we emigrated to in 1980. We moved to Darwin to be with our daughter, grandchildren 12 and 10 Due to family rift between brother and sister which we are drawn into because of son-in-law/vs daughter-in-law we have decided that it just isn't what we want at this time of our lives. We also have large family on both sides in UK, When we came to Oz we had two children and two suitcases, determined we would have a "family" when both children married and had kids. Dream on..... We have been asking if anybody had made the move and what were the stories and like you we were from South East. I have sort of got over the torn bit, both my eldest are at Uni and quite honestly unless I take out a facebook account (which I will never do) they are not really interested in what we are doing or what decisions we make, so know that the other four will head the same way. By then, will we be able to make the move ? We have all our faculties in abundance and hear of U3A, photographic clubs, so much to do etc. we wonder what would be missing ? If it costs as much as they say will we have enough to fly back, and how long will health etc. allow that. We are so undecided, we have been for holidays and loved it but don't feel it's the same, everybody knows you're leaving and everyone knows you are coming back so no help in the reality quarter....

Whaaaaaat.... couldn't be further from the truth, won't ask !!! Is it you that took London instead of New York then ?

And I love it ....... we were on the Sunshine Coast too, originally west of Brisbane before that because of land, horses etc. moved up there to semi-retire. Had an issue with our son and his mate who shared a property and mate and wife got hacked to death by brother, (police shot the brother). We came to Darwin to daughter as we had no other family on Sunshine Coast. People on this forum just "assume" we are numbshucks who don't try and better ourselves. I was wanting exactly the kind of view you have shared and didn't read it as negative at all. We had lots of fantastic friends, was in your situation they loved Oz etc. etc. then coming into our 80's they ran out of money and were all sent back to UK they had bought property, spent their money here but when it ran out.... we had two friends left, who eventually had to return, they holidayed with us last year and hoped to return alternate years but the cold weather this year caught up and probably not make it again. I feel you must move with the present - just want to hear people's stories, you all have one. We all have experienced fun, what if's, when's, that's life but never stop taking chances, however well calculated, we can always make mistakes, isn't that how we all learned in the first place?? Not assumed ones, take time to read properly and just think about whether you will offend, I know I do a lot of the time!!!!! Even got the T shirt xx

any light at the end of the tunnel for you?

I love this one... a specialist once said to me "everything is going to be alright"..... it wasn't - so he said "is there a light at the end of your tunnel?" and I said " Always, it's another bl...y train comin'!!!

I wish I had a crystal ball, I promise faithfully, I will pass it around xx

Yeah, what have I got to lose.....nothing here if I'm not happy... Many thanks for the lovely post. There are many things here that sting a bit if you compare them to somewhere else !! I think my DH knows I wouldn't even be thinking about it if he was 6ft under !!! It's a big move at our age and we know from holidays with the relies that they are not interested in what we do in Oz, we are fit and healthy though we never had health issues, love the gym, walks on all the moors when we are there, we do have some money to ease the burden but I still need my pommie banter, can't live without it or the sense of humour. Only have to take a cruise out of UK to have the biggest laugh at ourselves, lasts a lifetime.

Many thanks for your contribution. I totally agree with your summation of change. The comments you have made have been a constant whinge of my brothers, these, sadly will continue with the western world powers, imagine a political world with Trump in it, we will all be changed. I have kept up to date with most of the changes. Oz has changed too. But I am very quickly coming to the point that you mention, with the huge changes in society generally, I don't think any of us older generation feel that we belong in this world at all, coming quickly to the realisation after this forum that I would not be particularly happier if I had to deal with some of these people !!!

After discussing this site with my husband who is not so emotionally involved but still finds Oz "hard". Think we have decided as we have done in many previous discussions over the years that we will let the Poms and Ozzies fight it out between them, better the devil you know than the one you don't, I wasn't looking for an answer, I just wanted to know how people felt. I just think the techno world is sad, people don't know what they feel anymore. If they can just write something on a piece of space the person on the other end will not feel violated is about as far as it goes.... Thanks T xx

I sympathise and can empathise with your feelings, 9.5 years in Oz and returned back at 66, wife had good job but was finding increasing pressure from lots of different quarters, not really anti pom but more about how they wanted her to to do it their way, which meant basically being their puppet and doing lots of sucking up, so we came back with her at 51.

The country has changed in just the 10 years we have been away, people are depressed, housing is hideously expensive, the weather is very changeable and the summers are poor, that of course is very subjective, getting by I think for pensioners is very hard, and I think the majority of people feel life is a struggle, public services are decimated and struggling, old agecare is difficult to access and costly, and people who work in these areas of work are resentful and everything is so closely controlled by the govt, just a small example I am on a life long drug regime, none of them are expensive drugs I know because I used to buy them over the Internet in Oz because that was cheaper, but now I have to go the surgery every month to get a new prescription, I assume just in case I drop dead one day with 3 months of pills in the cupboard, so as the Chinese say" be careful what you wish for".

I also have a similar complaint here as in Oz, the standards in public life are plumbing new depths which are being exposed in this referendum debate and in the recent Hillsborough enquiry and child abuse enquiry that is starting to happen.

I feel that most of the old communities are splitting in the face of an absurd belief in economic and fiscal austerity which is seeing people forced out of their towns and cities as housing becomes too expensive for older people and youngsters so don't count on the old communities and social structures of 30 years ago still being there.

Sorry to highlight the negatives but those are the issues that I see for older people here unless you have something to supplement the state pension and make life easier..

I am sorry that you have had to soldier on in Oz and now feel like you do, I understand the feelings you are having but unfortunately you may find you feel just as disassociated from the new UK,, would a 3 month trip out here in the winter help you to see here thro less rose tinted glasses.

I really hope you can get some happy resolution

Many, many thanks for your reply. I was rather hoping for this type of answer to my question, I wrote a few things I thought would be relevant to inspire a discussion, but unfortunately bones were picked over and the point of me asking "how other people who had left Oz and returned" got overlooked. I have returned for six weeks in the winter and I left Darwin at the time, so the cold and a walk down Regent Street with the Christmas shoppers and lights was a very welcome sight, rest assured.

I'm still a bit lost.

1. Lost job in UK.

Australian government begged you to come and work for them.

Worked for Australian government but not in Australia but Separated from children who lived in Australia.

 

Apart from the children bit, this sound like the dream posting.

The Australian government is very particular about making the 'hard' move overseas for its public servants as soft as possible by throwing money at them. I can't work out why the children were not moved overseas also, which the government also throw money at by the way of free schooling, music lessons etc.

 

What sort of place is so bad that you don't want to live with your children there?

It is the first time I have heard of this, and I have know people to live in places like Papa New Guinea with children.

 

And how did you suffer on a hell hole overseas posting for so long?

I thought once you served your time, you'd be given the choice of New York... or London even.

I think it's about time you stayed lost then... don't know where you have got your information from but this doesn't apply at all to me and my overseas postings....

OK, we missed the bit about you working overseas because it was not clear. So what you are saying is that you moved your family to Australia but didn't live there, you actually worked in another country as an expat.

 

Now you're retired, you've naturally retired to Australia because that's where your family is - but you don't feel at home there. You have a decision that many others have faced - do you move to the UK where you'll feel more at home (but you'll be a long way from family), or do you put up with Australia to be close to your children? It's a common consequence of migration and one that most people don't even consider when setting out as a young couple. The only possible compromise I can think of is to move elsewhere in Australia - you sound as though you haven't travelled much within the country and you might be pleasantly surprised that there are other Australian cities where people are civilised and welcoming.

 

I have to correct your statement that your UK pension is docked because you receive an Aussie pension: that is not the case. The UK pension is NOT means-tested so there is no possibility of it being docked because of the Australian pension. What happens is that while living overseas, your UK pension is frozen. If you move to the UK your UK pension will increase and you can also use your years living in Australia to make up any missing years in your contribution record.

 

Since you have a UK pension, you should have declared that to Centrelink when claiming your Australian pension, and in fact it's the Australian pension that would be reduced to take the British pension into account. If that hasn't happened, then you should double-check with Centrelink soon - because if they find out, they will demand you repay any amount overpaid immediately.

 

If you move to the UK, you'll still get both your UK and Australian pensions. The Australian one may reduce a bit - it would be worth checking with Centrelink to find out.

 

As for being grateful - why on earth should you be grateful? People get upset because they have an affection for Australia and don't like hearing other people say nasty things about it, that's all. I'm not happy here in England and am heading back to Oz soon - I could say some nasty things about life here and you would probably be upset with me for saying them, because you love England!

I really didn't think I was going to write my whole autobiography to justify everything that I was just making a comment on.... Yes, you are absolutely right about the pension we have done everything correctly and Centrelink have no reason to "find out" anything I just got my pension the wrong way around it was 50c in the dollar deducted from the Australian pension for each dollar received from the English pension, which we paid up fully before we left UK. Either way, I was just asking the question hoping somebody would be able to enlighten me if and when I returned to UK on difficulties they may have experienced.. Trust me I couldn't hear any more unkind words about England than I have already heard in 35 years in Oz or out of it from the Ozzies. Try living in India for 8 years and hear what they have to say about the Raj and how they actually re-enforced how English and Christian we were!!! More manners and Englishness than even the English. I have travelled for 8 years in a caravan and visited far and wide, from Tasmania to Broome to Birdsville you name it, I have the T shirt. I have also travelled from the North Pole to the South and everything in between. It still doesn't mean I don't want to "belong".... if UK doesn't provide it I will not be too far away from not needing to worry anyway, will I ?

I had a very happy life I lived/worked overseas.

Who's Zack interesting !!

So why did you stay so long if it was so bad, you obviously could have afforded to go back if you took many holidays!

Thanks to everybody... I feel so much better, just the thought that somebody is out there and interested and taking the time to reply and not berating me because I was not grateful. etc. etc. means such a lot. But why would I not expect that, isn't that what I miss.

The point was somehow missed when I said we both worked overseas and we could have done that from the UK. It has been since retirement. If I had to stay here in Oz for 35 years I would have been gone in a flash. Somebody mentioned, quite rightly, my children married ozzies and my six grandchildren are here. I was not involved in their births or growing up which has isolated me from my immediate family, neither of my children want to leave here, they still don't. I hope I instilled some form of patriotism for Australia in them, I never let my thoughts interfere as a bias in anyway, shape or form, they were free to make up their own minds.

My holidays, because of the proximity and cost of either flying to Oz or UK was a choice of my own, money was not an issue, costs remained the same. My parents were alive and sick then so I felt an obligation to spend some time with them.

Both my husband and I feel that we have given our all to more than repay what Oz has given to us. Our full UK pension I have to say is "docked" because we are entitled to full pension here, we have only just given up work....and if we are entitled to pension then it should not be at the expense of our UK one which we paid into. We both had government jobs both here and UK and both of us contributed to a private pension fund, in the UK this is not taxable. Lots of things we planned for in our retirement became very outdated, when the time came to "cash in" we were self funded retirees until the GFC hit and robbed us of any comforts. That is the commercialism of it all, but without a caring word or a welcome when we join an activity or club cannot and will not compensate for any monies, holidays, whatever. Many thanks for all your very kind words of concern.

Thanks to both of you for taking the time, I actually have somebody who cared enough to reply!! Thank you so much.

Hi I just HAD to register for this site when I read the first post which listed all the drawbacks to Oz, every one of which sooo correct good on you for owning up and returning to UK. Ozzie answer to this post "close the door on the way out" along with the stickers on cars "if you don't love us, leave" the copper in our street, in uniform, that says "there's the airport you have a car Fxxx off".

My husband and I arrived here in 1980 when dear old Maggie took our jobs away. We need your qualifications in Australia, broke every rule for emigrating because they "needed" us. When we arrived we found out it was because nobody wanted to experience overseas working, developing countries etc. etc. we were a brilliant "export" we got many jobs for them because we were "British". We received absolutely no "thanks" and we could have done all these jobs out of UK. It split us up from our family both here and UK. I was so homesick, I still am at 77 and 73 respectively I found this site because I wondered if anybody was out there that felt the same way as me. Wish I had looked earlier !!! I knew from the first week in Oz that I would never make it, my thoughts are exactly the same now 35 years later nothing at all has changed and I just feel that I want to "belong" again to enjoy my later years and to die hopefully with someone who cares, that gives me hope because it is an absolute definite that nobody here will bother.

We have returned for many holidays and the people and atmosphere of London, where I worked for 20 years before my departure, never feels any different, the familiarity, the fact that everybody acknowledges you and you go about your business is something that NEVER happens with the small Oz minds. They have a multi-cultural society they complain about because it doesn't "assimilate" this is a two way street, they don't make ANYBODY feel welcome not in their stores, homes, schools, hospitals the list goes on and on.

If anybody reads this that is retired and gone back to the UK ( we both have a full UK pension) and can let us know the plus and minus of the issue I would be so grateful to.

I am just going to read on - other posts are going to reassure me that I am not the only one I am sure.

Definitely not a true blue!!!!