Snoozy

Quoll, If only I had the knowledge when I was young. I would never have come here. I came with my ex like a good wife. He had asthma and was very ill back home. He was cured by the hot climate. He told me it just like England only a bit bigger and a bit more heat in summer. I was so naive I believed him. I never wanted to leave but felt I had to give it a try for his health. I'm trapped in exile here.  I've been down the counselling road. I studied Psychology and can find my own ways of coping. I busy myself with my art and various other interests. I can't go out in the unbearable heat. My life is behind roller shutters, blackened out windows, as I can't bear the glare in the sky. I long for grey  cloudy skies, rain and so much more.That's all I see is a vast ocean, shopping malls, (yawn) endless boring suburbs. Empty streets no children playing. Superficial people too busy buying the next big car, house or boat etc. I have no desire for material wealth. I have learnt to be alone and I'm ok with it now. I have one trusted friend and I feel grateful for that. 

No, I've never considerd myself to be Australian. I've lived here for 43 years and I'm still a permanent resident. I cannot bring myself to be a citizen of Australia. I don't belong here and never will. 

3 minutes ago, MARYROSE02 said:

Without knowing Paul or where he lives in Perth, and it could just as easily be Perth in Scotland, I imagine he lives in a street in which he has got to know the neighbours, on either side, across the road, down the street. Sometimes, you hit it off with someone almost immediately, and sometimes it takes a while. Maybe the parents get talking to each other outside the school gates, maybe you get involved in a sport - surf club, golf club, bowling club, soccer club. Maybe you join a bushwalking club, play bridge, scrabble, bingo, go to the local pub or club for the meat raffle, quiz night, watching the footie on the TV, or actually going to a game.

 I have had wonderful neighbours in both England and Australia. My next door neighbour in England was VERY kind to me, especially after my father died, and in Sydney when my mother came out for my brother's wedding, our next door neighbour baked a cake with "Welcome Mary" on it. One Pommie, one Aussie, both very kind people.

The idea that Pommies are friendly by default and Aussies unfriendly by default is total BS. You have to reach out to people too if you are going to make connections. I've been in Surfers Paradise for four months now, and I am still getting to know people but there are bars cafes where people say hello to me, people know my name and I can join people at a table when I see them.

My friends have always been a mixture of Pommies, Aussies, people from elsewhere and I don't actually care where they are from. I either like them or I don't.

You have no idea about my life and how hard I've tried to fit in. I am a friendly woman, and have helped many people here. I can't be bothered with this convesation. I knew if I opened up on here I would cop it. I will never talk on this forum again. 

1 hour ago, ali said:

Our community is a nice one however,  I've never been one to live in my neighbours pockets and am quite content to wave and say hello.  We don't have street parties now that our kids are older, but  we still have a lot of the same neighbours and I know that we could call on them if needed in a time of crisis.

I too never lived in neighbours pockets. It was just nice to know they were there if needed. Every time I walked out the door, it was nice to be recognised and spoken to, instead of the hostility I have received here. There's not one neighbour here I could call on in a crisis. I''ve accepted that I'm alone, and now don't want anyone around me. This is what I've turned into since living here. 

3 minutes ago, tea4too said:

@Snoozy lived in South Wales though and if she grew up in the Valleys the type of community she is referring to is more than the friendly, supportive neighbours that most of us appreciate. To be fair very few places remain unchanged and the pit closures, unemployment and chronic ill health associated with working in the mines have had a big impact over many years, however the beating heart of the Valleys has always been the generations of people and families who live there. Many areas in England manage similar legacies but Welsh topography means these towns and villages are almost set apart, which perhaps reinforces the sense of living in a tight knit community.

Sadly the Valleys are suffering some of the highest Covid-19 infection rates in the UK just now and it's been suggested the very closeness of friends and neighbours may be a contributory factor, but I read a quote recently along the lines of 'we need to be close and can't change a culture that's been in our DNA for centuries,' which sort of underlines a sense of community that would be difficult to replicate elsewhere. T x

 

tea4too, Thank you, that's exactly how my life was in the valleys. My friends are still there, and have kept in touch with me all these years. We went through many hardships, but always helped each other, and our humour kept us going. I am grieving for Wales, my heart is there, I merely exist here. I have never experienced a community like that ever again. I'm not sure where there are communities here, like Paul1 Perth mentioned. x

59 minutes ago, bug family said:

Can I just say snoozy I feel for you and understand exactly what you mean, I hope it helps somewhat to know that you are not alone in how you feel,  that can be seen in what has been written on here time and time again by many posters, anyhow thank you for your honest words, I hope someday that you find some happiness here take care

bug family, Thank you so much for your understanding. I have been reading the posts for a few years now.  It brings me some comfort being on here. I'm having a hard time now I'm older  and have ill health, and knowing that I will never return home xx

46 minutes ago, Bulya said:

Had some fantastic visits with a race team but under no circumstances could I live there.  Palpable sense of isolation and a very weird vibe...

Bulya, Yes, it's the isolation that has made me very depressed. I wish I could have explored other parts of Australia. Maybe I could have settled and not been so unhappy.

1 hour ago, Red Rose said:

Sounds like you have lived a lifetime in Perth. Has it changed for the better since you arrived in 78? Are there parts of Perth / WA you do still like?

 Red Rose, There have been so many changes, especially housing and the roads, railways etc. I can hardly recognise the place now. There are so many new suburbs that never existed in 78. I miss the old Australiana homes. They had a certain charm, that will never come back. It's more costly now to live in Perth, than it was back then. Places like Subiaco are ruined. They shut down the lovely markets. Personally I think that was a very foolish move. Maybe people think it's all for the better, personally I don't. I guess it's what they call progress. I've never liked Perth, so no, there's no parts that I'm really fond of. Sorry, I have such a negative attitude towards living here. I miss the friendly community I grew up in. It still exists today. For me Perth is all about wealth and status. There are many more changes, I just can't list them all here.

10 hours ago, newjez said:

That's so sad. I've had a love hate relationship with Perth. But at the time I didn't like it I left. I take it the rest of your family love it?

newjez, I came with my son and ex husband. The rest of my family lived in Wales, but have since passed away, except for my sister. 

6 hours ago, Bulya said:

They’re clueless when they select a place to migrate to (pin the tail on the donkey basically).  Once here they can far more easily learn about Australia, and then move to a better matching state/territory.  Those that we know from here that have moved have done well.  It’s isn’t rocket science...

Bulya, Not all of us have the money to move around. It was not a case of pin the tail on the donkey for me. 

Hi ali, No I've never been before. In 78, I knew nothing about Australia. I came with my son and ex husband who had been here before and loved it, and assured me I would too. I have tried so many things, joined groups etc. I just feel I have never fitted in here, and Aussies are not so friendly. Sorry, that's been my experience. I've never been able to afford to move back without some help. My family were not welcoming to the idea of me coming home to them again. 

9 hours ago, tea4too said:

Oh Snoozy, that is a long time to struggle. I see from your earlier posts that 'home' is South Wales, and I wondered if you knew about the Welsh Society of WA that is based in Perth? If you can't go to Wales maybe a little bit of Wales can come to you. Take care, and though it's only a virtual one just wanted to send a big cwtch. T x 

https://wawelshsociety.org.au/page.php/aboutus

 

Thank you tea4too. I have been to the Welsh Society. It's too far away from where I live now xx

I realised it the moment I stepped off of the plane in Perth, that I had made a big mistake. I hoped that one day I would return, if only for a holiday. Circumstances have prevented me from ever going home. Forty two years I have endured living here. To many it's paradise, for me it's a hell hole.

Hi Lcgeordie.....I feel for you. It's only natural to feel homesick and to question everything. I know what it's like to have all those thoughts swirling around in your head. It's always good if you can talk to someone about your feelings. I hope you have some support from your friends etc. It's great that you and your children like it here. I do hope things will get better for you. Take care.

Tears are a release, otherwise, I would not have coped out here. I never think of it as a long time to be crying.

Hi The Pom Queen.... Thanks, yes I finally decided to join. I think it will help me from feeling so isolated. I know so many others go through similar situations.

My son is 44. I would love to move back to Wales, I can't afford to. I have not been back for a holiday.

Hi JockinTas, Thanks, I hope one day I will get back and see Wales again. :smile:

Hi, I'm new to PIO. Although, I have been reading many of your stories over the years, which have really helped me. So at last I decided join, and introduce myself.

I'll just tell you a little bit about myself. I emigrated to Perth in 1978 from South Wales UK, with my husband and son. My marriage broke up within two years. I decided to stay to try and give my son a better life. I have found it very hard to settle. I am still extremely homesick. Not a day goes by without me crying about coming to Australia. I miss so many things. I just cannot get used to the Aussie way of life. I'm a recluse now. I have done so many things here. Joined so many groups, courses etc.

I know there are so many good things about Australia. I'm very grateful, for all the help I've had over the years. It's just the longing in my heart for Wales, will not go. I think some of you may relate.

Hope you're all having a lovely day, wherever you are.