fizzybangs

Sounds to me like you want to finish the relationship or this would not be a problem for you but have a small doubt so are saying 6 months. I would hate to be apart from my other half for 6 months. End the relationship and move forward. You have made your decision to return but don't stuff him around. If you end it, he can save a heap of money and get on with his life here instead of going back and then you ending it.

Hi, I received my Aussie citizenship last week and have just been informed of a funeral in the UK that I should attend. Obviously haven't had time to get my Australian passport sorted. Anyone have experience of traveling between Australia and the UK on a British passport? (I realise the rules say you shouldn't).

You need a re-entry visa for your British passport then no hassles. Won't get back in without one. No good relying on citizenship papers. I know, been there and done that and with previous married name in passport! Name did not matter, just re-entry visa.

After a very long time in Oz the sun now drives me insane! In Tassie this summer to avoid the summer storms and humidity in SE Qld. Just could not take it any longer. However, a year back in UK from Spring to Spring returning last year I loved the variations in the weather and the 'polite' UK rain. I never feared being flooded either, nor giant hail stones nor the violent electrical storms. Loved having seasons again and could always go out walking whatever the weather.

I have no idea why but for the last few days all I can think about is possibly making the move home. Playing over and over in my head.

 

Although I have always felt slightly 'off' here in Australia... Ive chugged along. Trying to find my place here.

But I feel like the road here might be ending.

I have been here 3 years, and in that time I just haven't been able to fit in. I don't feel like I belong here...

 

Maybe because of my personal experience...or being that my values are completely different to those I have met, but to me Australia is simply pretentious.

Its all about status, who can do what for whom, who has the better x and y... Their patriotism is embarrassing. Considering they have a National Sorry Day... which noone seems to know about.

I havent meet people who want to learn about cultures, history... whether it be from beyond their country or even in it!

 

I have endured bullying of magnitude, felt unwelcomed here. But more than anything there is no depth here. I don't feel it from people.

 

Friends... Well, how can I describe such beings... So far I have been used, people palm their kids onto me, take my things, have little regard for me and my values. There take the piss sense of humour isn't admired by me. And they basically spit you out when they have what they needed from you.

This I think is really getting me down...more than the stinking hot weather, or any other issues I may have here. I have moved 6 times in 3 years (different states too). And each time its the same thing.

Over and over again. Completely taken for granted.

 

I hate that I can not openly have a conversation about life in general, have discussions, debates, for the fear of people tearing me down. Everyone has an opinion! And everyone is extremely self justified and defensive!

 

So.... going home....

 

I am going to try one last time. I will move to another region this year (I may as well stick it out to get my citizenship) and see if I can find some kind of belonging. But I have decided if that doesn't feel right I am just going to leave.

Why waste any more time feeling the way I do. I have no idea where in the UK I would go, or even what it is like there at the moment. But one thing I do no is people have depth, the are very humbling, compassionate and well I would feel like I belong.

I have been here since 1981, with a nine month plus a one year trip back. I have rarely read such a great post. You have hit the nail on the head with everything. It is not going to change, in fact it has got a lot worse since I arrived. We are going home for good soon!

My brother and wife always did most of their shopping in M & S but tried some meat at Aldis in Hereford and were blown away by how good it was. They get most things from there now and rave about quality of fruit and vegetables. A lot of people are changing which is why Tesco is suffering so bad. When we were back there for a year we found certain things we liked in different stores and bulk purchased those items when there. Aldi 70% chocolate so cheap, Morrisons lattice pork pies likewise, Tesco for triple chocolate puddings out of the freezer section, Asda for non perfumed clothes washing liquid etc. We used all of them!

It's only 25 miles to the centre of Manchester! You've never seen middle of nowhere until you've been to Oz :cool:

Oh I love your last sentence! Pinching it LOL

Electricity costs are dear in both countries, food is better and cheaper in UK, petrol is higher. Overall bringing wages into consideration, not much difference at all. As for average price of lamb being around $15 in Devonport, I fell off my chair as I am in Launceston and go to Longford where they have the abattoir shop and it is dearer than that!

The UK has had more sunny days this winter since - can't recall, was it 1948 I saw in the news? You do have to notice it though and if desperate to come back here you may not be noticing the good about UK. After 32 years we went back for a year, returning last April. The heat at Sunshine Coast Qld was horrible in winter so we moved to Tassie for summer! We are about to move back again to Qld - Australian state ping pongers!

Devon was amazing when we were back there. I loved the seasons, the variety of food shops and associated cheap prices, we could afford to eat out a lot more but we can't here. Travelling was so easy over long distances although shorter distances took a lot longer as so much attracted us we kept stopping! The UK is alive. The news is abysmal! Enough to depress the best of us so don't watch it! You can catch up on line so easily. Which reminds me - telecommunication costs are so low in the UK! Amazingly cheap, staggered us. I love both countries, there is room in my heart for both. I would prefer to live in the UK though despite my having 3 children here.

There is one other thing that may stop you, I'm afraid, unless you're very well off. If you leave now, you won't be able to get your Australian government pension. You probably won't be able to get a British pension either. Which means if you don't have enough in your superannuation/house to last you till you die, you could end up destitute.

 

To get the Australian pension, you'll have to stay in Australia until you reach pension age so you can claim it, and then you can leave - but as you know, that's several years away yet.

 

If you're planning to work when you arrive in the UK, you'll earn some NI contributions and you may be able to make extra payments so you can get some British pension instead, it would be worth looking into.

This is not correct. Suggest you do your own research but you have to have lived here for 10 years and be here when you apply. You can apply from many countries (can from Dublin too if you live there) but not the UK. You also have to have lived here (been domicile) for the full year before applying to make it portable. If you arrive later, you must be here for 2 years after getting it for it to be portable. Obviously, the amount you get is worked out on how many years you have lived here. I will have lived here for a full 34 years when I get mine this year so will get 34/35ths of the age pension

Family and friends are like flowers and they need to be watered. It does not matter a jot where we live its what we do, do we phone, do we remember birthdays, do we visit one another. If one side is doing the giving and the other is expecting the giving this is not right.

 

A loving family is one where support is given to the members whatever their choices and they are not made to feel guilty about their choices. I have said this time and again, children are on loan, they grow up and have their own lives. If they choose to stay in our lives then we have done something right. If we have to beg them to stay then we have not done the right thing. As an older person I know I am vulnerable but the last thing I want is my children to feel that they have to support me. I am and have always been an independent person in my marriage in my life. I continue to be that person and if I end up in a home and they cannot see me or visit me because of where they live, a phone call is enough. Its so important for them to have the same married life I had, my oh was my life and so are my children and now its their turn.

 

All this suppressed guilt I read about in posts and its guilt brought on by others has no foudation. Yep Johnny and Mary need their mum and dad in their pocket because their parents have done it that way but we are all different and every way we do it is the right way. Its our way.

 

Behind closed doors if only we could see. I used to have a hairdresser many years ago and they lived here and were migrants as most of the people are and they did not visit their mum because their mum had given them nothing to make them want to visit. Guilt is no good. My family is all around the World USA UK New Zealand and its up to me whether I want to keep in contact and its up to them as well.

Nobody has made me feel guilty! I also do not need to 'water' my relationships with my family in the UK. That is the point of my regrets actually, they fill me with love and hugs and I wish I hadn't removed my children from their wonderful, loving embrace. My daughter who has been back several times, even to work there cannot get over how big the family is and how she is immediately accepted as part of each family. No fanfare, just that we belong. First time I saw my niece in her Mum's kitchen after 30 years she just said 'Hi, here' and chucked me the tea towel! I dried the dishes after she washed them and when finished we hugged. I was instantly 'in' the family. They are awesome. Last time we were in London when my nephew needed help so we were contacted and dropped everything to go and help. They never treat me like a visitor or mention the fact Inhave been away for 32 years!

As for wanting someone to be proud of me and my adventures and accomplishments? It is my deceased father! He is with me always and know he is proud of how I overcame abject poverty in Oz after arrival, being in a refuge with nothing and now enjoying a lure even gevwould envy.

My kids are stuck here but once their very invalid father has passed away who knows. I am going 'home' and maybe they will too. Life is an adventure and I refuse to age gracefully nor stop moving to where I am happiest.

Well fizzy it sounds like you have had a great run....iam in a strange position.....all my family in oz,so my little group are the family minority in their own country.

My daughters cousins are all in oz.

We were at a family funeral last week.....loads of extended family,and my daughters hadn't met half of them.

I think family is splintering wherever we are based.

I meet new people every day in my job,and in my 20 yrs doing my job, I have only met a couple of "old style " families,where the families were very tight and localised..

 

One in Liverpool....one in telford

Finally fizzy,I find your regrets sadden me,because you have dome and acheived so much

what is achievement though? I would have once thought of jobs, education, financial, health etc. Don't we all have someone who we want to make proud of us? My thoughts have changed over the last few years. No price on family connections because when we are gone the kids family connections will be their kids and cousins and their kids. It would be better had they been part of 'the family'. They always envied other families meeting up with relatives at Christmas and other important events. Back in UK they have nearly 100 incredibly loving family members and even though two have met some of the family now, there is my deceased brother's family of 18 odd, four generations who none of them have met. Just my personal thoughts. We have done a lot sure. the only way to liken the feeling I have when wishing family connections for my children is that it is similar to that stomach gut feeling you have when homesick for your own country. It is a heart and gut feeling that cannot really be explained. Having several houses or having travelled widely is no longer what it id all about for me. It is the feeling of belonging.

I would disagree that food costs are comparible. We were there last year and my OH said I was messing up his budgets and when I asked why, he said I wasn't spending enough on food! We were shopping in Sainsbury's, Tesco and Morrisons but my brother who always bought everything from M & S has tried out Lidls or Aldi and says he is stunned at quality of meat and food bills have dropped dramatically so seems we can buy even cheaper if we switch when we go back. We also ate out far more than we do here in Oz and I was horrified when we came back to live at Cotton Tree, Maroochydore. The prices to eat out here are crazy high. Our BT phone cost £18 per month which included free calls within the UK anytime! Internet was silly cheap too and truly unlimited and fast. Here I am paying $111 per month and never watch videos or I run out if allowance and it then slows down so much that it is unusable. I think you will be delighted if you work from your Oz budget!

Good heavens, you will have more than enough unless renting in London! Food will cost half to start with and telecommunications are so much cheaper. You could afford private heslth, private schools and holidays with that combined income.

Hi - had a quote for a 20ft sole use container including wooden box for piano, together with cost for company to take my belongings which are currently in storage and to store them for us until time to leave. Comes in at $9377 and $16.50 per week to store belongings (we are currently paying $150 per week to store). Any thoughts? Does this seem reasonable? Going Brisbane to West Yorkshire, UK by the way. Thanks in advance xx

Try Kent at Wacol. Brilliant and the guy that runs it us a Pom! Cheapest quote we have ever had, efficient, extremely helpful. I emailed him once on a Sunday night expecting an answer during office hours on Monday and got immediate reply back and ut was after 9.30pm! They also used a removal company in Devon that has all the certifications available so excellent company that end too which us really important. Used Letton Percival for shipping insurance like rveryone ekse does on here. Great company and so much cheaper than any shipping removalists.

Home responsibilities protection (HRP) existed in the 1980's though. The link provides broad guidance to help with the most common queries, so it would be worth checking your own eligibility to HRP for a period not covered by the web pages. Good luck, it's probably worth an email just to be sure. Tx

Well they told me on the phone that I'd be on wife pension but not really better off because if something happens to my OH and he is quite a bit older than me, I will only get 60th on my widow's pension of what I get now. They told me outright that it will not be counted as I was married to previous OH then and he gets his own UK pension in Oz. So my years married to him don't count!

Returning from Tasmania in April after fabulous 6 months out of the heat, to Brisbane or Gold Coast for as short a time as possible then back on the plane to UK. I found out after 32 years that I missed the UK just too much deep down and think now that I was consumed by just making a living with 3 kids to bring up in Oz. Had the house, investment properties, did the four year tour of Australia once retired early. Deep down UK is home which was a shock! Perhaps it is there underneath all along, hidden. Spent a year back in Devon returning last April to Sunsine Coast near my daughter then the 6 months here in beautiful Tasmania where, incidentally, unemployment is continually dropping! Have to go 'home' where my heart is. I have enjoyed one heck of a long holiday and dep down perhaps I knew it was just that. Wish I had never bought my kids up here though and they too have deep regrets at not knowing extended family. Two of them have met some of them. One has been back a few times and is now unsettled. Wish I had stayed put to start with!

This made me smile - my parents have just gone home after a month staying with us here and spent a lot of the time searching through all the Foxtel and Digital channels trying to find some "World News"! Mind you, they did complain that "no-one has mentioned anything about the weather or what's happening in the UK at all" to which we pointed out, why would anyone here really care...? We've not heard much here about Ebola recently, is it still happening?

oh my goodness! SBS is world news and yes, in all media there has been talk of where Ebola is now arising and where it has abated. There is always News 24 too which has world news weeknights and maybe weekends too.

Not sick of you at all! Just want to know you are on your way!

interesting and thanks for info and will look into it. We have transfered it now and will get a lump sum in March and our pension hasn't changed at all - yet!

I do qualify as I was on Income Support (Disability Pension) on 1st January 2015

I sure was! For years! Thanks for info, will look into it for sure.

Don't qualify as this has only been brought in in the last few years and not retrospective to the 1980's

I think that's because, even though you went overseas for a while, you were regarded as living continuously in Australia up to that point. So you weren't just in Oz for a full year before claiming, you'd been in Oz for however-many-years before that.

 

If we went overseas now (at 61) and became deemed non-resident, so our continuous residence was broken, the two year rule would apply.

Yes, which is why the CES lady told us to come back just under the year.

@fizzybangs - depending on when when you reached (UK) state pension age, if you were a foster carer in the UK for a complete tax year before 2010 you may be eligible for National Insurance 'credits' towards a state pension. This link might help? www.gov.uk/home-responsibilities-protection-hrp/overview Tx

I sure was! For years! Thanks for info, will look into it for sure.

Hi fizzybangs,

It is not for everyone, but is an option to protect a capital amount. I agree the returns in an Australian super fund are superior strictly on a dollar basis but you also have to take into account exchange rates. For example my Aus super has risen in dollar terms but has gone down by around 17% in pound terms since mid 2012 despite adding 20% in dollars in the same time. It is now worth a lot less now than in mid 2012 in pounds. However if the AUD recovers it will be worth more. Also the Deeming rules would make no difference if you reached aged pension after this date regardless of when you started drawing a super stream.

interesting and thanks for info and will look into it. We have transfered it now and will get a lump sum in March and our pension hasn't changed at all - yet!

We claimed our UK pension from Oz when 60. The UK overseas dept in Newcastle phoned us up to adk us if we wanted to buy more credits which we did. We later phoned them up and bought more credits.

Anyone heard from Helz recently?

What a fabulous post. Thank you. Just remember though that we tend to only remember the good parts of either country! I love both and have lived in both for same amount of years. If you came back and had children would you regret that they never grow up to know eir extended family?