tearose

My query was with the person that posted that not very welcome post.

Yes I am a bit fragile at the moment, and could do without such comments from Bunbury, just a pity people cannot be less critical.

Thanks anyway Fisher. Hope you are ok now

Sorry fisher ,don't buy that either .

??

I am in your situation Tearose and I am moving back. Mum is 84 and whilst 'good for her age' starting to have various health issues and I am her only relative. I realise you may not have that option, if you have kids then it's a joint decision with your spouse, there are a number of threads from POMS with Aussie husbands who want to return but can't. In which case my advice is

i) ask your mum what she wants to do. My mum considers a 30 minute train ride into the city near where she lives a major expedition so moving to Sydney is a complete no for her.

ii) Talk to someone who has been caring for her: her doctor, social worker ( there should be one if she is admitted to hospital and lives on her own). You will probably need her consent to do this but if she doesn't consent to talk about it then she is unlikely to be willing to make the move.

iv) Check with a migration agent what your options are. It depends on a number of factors, her health, how much money she has, how many relatives she has , where they are and you need expert advice.

iv) Plan financially for regular visits to the UK whilst she is living there.

 

Good luck

thank you

I would not want to move to the other side of the world to be near my children, in fact I do not see a lot of them now and they live in Australia. They have their lives. I think your Mum would be happy in a hostel situation in the UK where she had peers and people her own age to talk to. My mum has just moved into a hostel at 97 and she can go out on her own if she wants to. I had been trying for a few years to get her to move to one as she was lonely here in Aus and she would have been lonely if she was in UK because of her age. All her sisters and brothers had passed on etc and friends too. The older we get the less friends and relatives of our own age are around. Lets face it younger ones boss us around we do not want that. My husband's cousin is an only child and his mum and dad lived in Scotland when his dad died he returned to the Scotland found his mum a hostel situation and returned to his life and she carried on hers. Everyone is different but we are independent as I am, fiercely so we do not want to be a burden and we want to be our own person to death if possible.

Thanks

Thank you for replying without judging or criticizing me, that is NOT what I expected on here!! Shame !!

I have not posted "much" on here without going into the whole "story" and wondered if that was a good idea, but reading "other" posts I'm now glad that I didn't.

She is 82 for heavens sake ....why nearing the end of her life would she want to travel 12,000 miles to the other side of the world ...come on get real .

How do I know ? ...because that's why iam here in the u.k ...its called TAKING RESPONSIBILITY .

Whether that be for your children ...or for your ageing parents .

Iam sorry to get on your case ,but it seems bloody selfish to me .

You don't want to disturb your life in oz or n.z ....so to solve the issue ,you are proposing to ship your mom out to you .

Sorry if I sound harsh ,but i have siblings just like you .

One even proposed flying mom out to oz after all these years to visit their family ...mom is 88 ,and would be travelling on her own ....I had never heard anything so stupid in my life ....i was bloody furious.

 

Is it what your mom wants ? ...i could go on ,but I will leave it at that .

No offence to you personally ....but think about what you are proposing

I do think this is a bit harsh to be honest.....i thought this the best place to come for friendly advice.

You know nothing about me or my family or my responsibilities so please do not judge me.

Yes but her health is terrible, she is being looked after, would that make a difference?

I don"t have a sister, I have a brother but he lives in New Zealand

How long did it take?

Have you thought about moving back to be with your mother?

No

Plenty of parents have made the move to Australia to be with their adult children. Hopefully some of them will be along to post.

 

However, given your mothers age and her most recent injury, you really are best contacting a decent agent who can take a look at the case and who can advise you properly. I think thats the only way to really know one way or the other if there is much of a chance as its a case by case basis and things change so quickly.

Thanks

Thanks, she is very independent so a lot of those options are out, and hence as she is still sound, then that is why we feel we need to get her over here before she does really start to decline.

I posted here in case anyone had been in a similar situation....?

Also, as I said earlier she has no family now, only a sister that does not speak, and no friends

It's nothing serious, just age related stuff and she is of sound mind!!

I know....she's always hated the thought of nursing homes, and do not feel that she has many options available to her?

My brother and I having been conversing all weekend, and reckon its the only option?

My mum is 82 and her health is beginning to deteriorate, she is currently in hospital after a fall (she's had a few now).

I am in Australia and my brother is in New Zealand and my mum in the UK, with no family.

What are the chances of getting her out here sooner rather than later? She has her own house, with no mortgage, so money not too much of an issue.

Thanks in advance

SevenSeas were awesome

On a negative note, I've been in Oz now for 7 years, and not made a single friend. Aussies keep themselves to themselves, and I am finding it the hardest thing ever ! :ssign3: