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Guest jodie stott

I thought this was my dream......how long till i know for sure?

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Guest jodie stott

hey everyone, we moved from scotland to Penrith in Sydney five weeks ago, i had a burning passion to get my family over here, and now we are here, i feel very sick, and cant stop thinking what have i done. The kids like school, but its not a better standard. I couldnt wait to get away from the dreech in scotland but o how id love to be there right now. I am writing to ask, How long before i really know that this isnt right, iv heard that after three months you truly know if you can stick it out very long term, my husband and i have said this year we will give it our all, and then if i still feel the same we will work our way back the following year, thats 2 years. I feel stuck and lonely,

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Guest Guest31881

HI,

 

Welcome to PIO..

 

Unfortunately your question is impossible to answer, Home sickness is something we all suffer to one extent or another, Missing familiar things, family and friends.

Some people know straight away they cannot and will not ever settle in Australia, others will give it two years to see how things go.

 

My personal gut feeling is, If you give it two years and still cannot settle here then go home. However if you really hate it here and only you know the answer to that, then go home now before the anxiety you feel starts to make you ill, or at least start to make "Escape" plans. You may start to feel better if you did not feel trapped here.

 

Good luck to you what ever you decide to do.

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Guest anitaw

Hi Jodie and welcome to Sydney. I emigrated from Edinburgh 15 years ago. I too felt very homesick and worried I'd done the wrong thing. At the time I had a 2 year old son and was 7 months pregnant. We knew only 2 people in Sydney and they were a great help. I felt bad and cried a lot for about 3 months. When the baby was about 2 months old I started going to playgroups. That was a lifesaver. I met many other Scottish/English/Irish mums there and new friendships were forged. Things looked much brighter ! I have been back to Scotland twice since then, on holidays and I can now honestly say I could never live there again. If I am blue I take a trip across the harbour bridge. Hope this helps . Keep writing too..that will help you. Also, get involved with the school if you can. Another great way to meet people.

Anita

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hi Jodie

 

relax. it's OK to feel like this. don't make any decisions, just go with it and see what happens. backing out now will probably only make you feel that there was unfinished business later on. set a target of maybe 6 months. If you still hate it then, maybe....


My Brain Hurts!

 

 

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Guest jodie stott

Thanks everyone, I do not hate it here, but im praying i will Love it, i really do want this to work but my heart feels broken, and i really really couldnt wait to leave the uk, i took home for granted. I have been to darling harbour three times and it really helped my sadness but its a long and sweaty trip to there, And alot of the locals said to us there, 'get outa penrith!' i found some playgroups within our first week here, been along to three, havent met anyone yet, but trying hard :) We have a permanent visa, took us three years to get over here, i love the sunshine, but never thought id miss driving past the north sea every day..:( dont mean to be a whinge , never ever thought id feel this way. cheers again everyone

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hey everyone, we moved from scotland to Penrith in Sydney five weeks ago, i had a burning passion to get my family over here, and now we are here, i feel very sick, and cant stop thinking what have i done. The kids like school, but its not a better standard. I couldnt wait to get away from the dreech in scotland but o how id love to be there right now. I am writing to ask, How long before i really know that this isnt right, iv heard that after three months you truly know if you can stick it out very long term, my husband and i have said this year we will give it our all, and then if i still feel the same we will work our way back the following year, thats 2 years. I feel stuck and lonely,

 

The other posters have given excellent advice but I would like to ask how you can judge the "standard" of the school in just 5 weeks? If you dwell on this with your judgement based on only 5 weeks, you will find it very hard to settle. Schooling is different here and "different" does not a "poorer" standard make. Keep an open mind and if, after a longer period of time, you still feel the same, then I would suggest a move for your kids till you find a school that you feel meets your needs, and theirs, better. It may unsettle them, but as I say, if you feel that you have done wrong (educationally) by your kids, you may find a growing resentment towards Oz as a whole.

 

Good luck


See my art here: https://kevindickinsonfineartphot.smugmug.com/

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Guest jodie stott
The other posters have given excellent advice but I would like to ask how you can judge the "standard" of the school in just 5 weeks? If you dwell on this with your judgement based on only 5 weeks, you will find it very hard to settle. Schooling is different here and "different" does not a "poorer" standard make. Keep an open mind and if, after a longer period of time, you still feel the same, then I would suggest a move for your kids till you find a school that you feel meets your needs, and theirs, better. It may unsettle them, but as I say, if you feel that you have done wrong (educationally) by your kids, you may find a growing resentment towards Oz as a whole.

 

Good luck

 

Hi and thank you for your reply, i can say it is not the same standard as this is what WE have experienced here, and did i say that it was a bad standard? nope. im NOT talking about australia here, im taking about the standard our children have had so far here, but hopefully not for much longer. I know my children would be unsettled with another move, since we have taken them across to the other side of the world five weeks ago and this was the most unsettling experience for them ever, So im well aware of what will make our children unsettled, Can i ask that if anyone replies, it be with advice and not to pick at things im saying , i like the education system here i like this place, i am just wondering if we have done the correct thing. Cheers with an open mind, and putting our kids first, we will be thankful not resentful, blessed and give our all this year, XX

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Hi

 

I understand how you feel. We have been in Perth area for 11 weeks now and on many occasions have thought what have we done. I don't think the time of year helps, Christmas is always going to bring memories of back home and I am missing the cold weather (never thought I would) in the run up to christmas.

The schools are winding down for the end of the school year and yes they are very different much more laid back than the UK school, children seem to wonder about the school grounds getting stuff out of bags (they are kept outside of the classroom).

I think it takes a long time to feel settled, I expected to feel fine after my things from home arrived but It made me more unsettled.

We will give it a good try and I think 2 years is enough to know if you can live here or try another area of Australia before making the decision to return to the UK.

Good luck hope you feel better soon.

Jayne x

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It takes a long time to get settled - probably about 2 years being honest. We've been here 3 years and only just decided to stay but not where we are, so are looking at another state to be nearer family. Everyone's situation is different so good luck and hang in there. It will get better and hopefully one day you will wonder what all the fuss was about.

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Hi and thank you for your reply, i can say it is not the same standard as this is what WE have experienced here, and did i say that it was a bad standard? nope. im NOT talking about australia here, im taking about the standard our children have had so far here, but hopefully not for much longer. I know my children would be unsettled with another move, since we have taken them across to the other side of the world five weeks ago and this was the most unsettling experience for them ever, So im well aware of what will make our children unsettled, Can i ask that if anyone replies, it be with advice and not to pick at things im saying , i like the education system here i like this place, i am just wondering if we have done the correct thing. Cheers with an open mind, and putting our kids first, we will be thankful not resentful, blessed and give our all this year, XX

 

Sorry that you see my response as "picking". I was trying to give practical advice. :rolleyes:


See my art here: https://kevindickinsonfineartphot.smugmug.com/

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Hi Jodie,

 

It is only natural for you to miss where you were born, grew up etc. we have been in western oz for about 8 months now I too miss the cold weather at this time of year it doesn,t feel christmasy in the heat, but i suppose that is because we are not used to it being hot at christmas time (we are from north wales) i never thought i would say i miss cold weather.

I do think that if you tell yourself that something is forever then it seems really daunting and hard to comprehend.....if i told myself that i would never walk down the local high street in the welsh town where I am from then I would really struggle and end up being homesick.

What I (iit is only my way of dealing with it) have figured is that this is our big 'ozzy' adventure / break from the U.K. (everyone should have one big adventure in their lifetime) it isn,t forever and I am looking forwards to exploring this huge, diverse and fantastic country, but always with a view to returning home one day ....when that is I am not sure yet but I will have to give it a few years to be honest to myself and family....I do hope you settle and treat this as an adventure for you and your family and hey bonny scotland isn't going anywhere it will be right their waiting for you when you choose to return....and this will be something to tell the grandkids about when your old and grey :tongue:

wishing you the best of luck

 

Daddy Bug

 

Bug Family:biggrin:

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Guest ksc2303

i'm in that situation now - moved from west midlands to melbourne, it's been six months and in the last 2 weeks i've been wanting to go back.. so much it makes me feel sick and upset at the fact i'm stuck here and don't know a soul. i don't think you should have to "give it time" i think once you know what your heart wants then you should do what it tells you. that's my opinion anyway. i don't like to waste time somewhere where i'm not happy, i don't think anyone should!

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http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/moving-back-uk/124906-how-long-do-you-give-australia.html

 

Jodie, you might want to have a read of this thread, lots of varying opinions of course.

 

Personally I would say that you're not losing anything by having an adventure for a while, you're only gaining experiences. Whether you decide to stay long term, or this turns out to be a short adventure, who cares? Just enjoy the now...

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Mod Hat On - Guys i have removed a few posts before the threads turns personal and goes off track..

 

 

Mod Hat Off -

 

Jodie,, hang on in there... as others have said 5 weeks isnt long ,everything is still alien to you and its a huge learning curve, a bloody hard one at that. Deep down only you know if moving here was the right decision , but for me personaly it took 2 years to feel i really did belong and i could make a good life out here. Quite regually in those first couple of years i would ring hubby having a tantrum and spitting my dummy over one thing or another,, looking back ,boy am i glad he didnt buy me those flight tickets i often asked for,,lol..

Try to get out there ,make friends have fun, i know i was at my worst when sat home alone dwelling on what / who id left behind.. Also dont have expectations too high, it puts too much pressure on you and if things are meant to be ,they will eventually fall into place.

Lots and lots of luck with your future and try to have a fab christmas...

 

Cal x


If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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Jodie, PM me! Sounds like you could do with some friends and a chat, Penrith isn't a million miles from where I am in Sydney Hills, so maybe we could meet up halfway and have a chin wag. We have been here since August, I am certain we have made the wrong decision and now are just trying to understand where we go next. It is never easy, but in the meantime we can only try to make it as good as possible, maybe even fun sometimes! If you could do with a coffee then let me know.... :notworthy:


And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive at where we started, and know the place for the first time.

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Guest Sianburton

Hi Jodie

 

I'm sorry your feeling so down about the move. I just wanted to tell you my story and to offer a bit of advice. My now husband and I went to Australia on a working holiday visa in Aug 2009, we travelled for 2 months and then settled in Adelaide for the rest of our time to live and work and see if we wanted to immigrate (a luxury I know). For the first 4 months in Adelaide I loved it but then my birthday came in March and all of a sudden I had no friends to celebrate it with as the few I had made were busy. I was devestated as have always had lots of friends round to celebrate with and, if I'm honest, make me feel loved.

 

After my birthday I became so home sick all I wanted was to come home. I created this perfect place in my mind where everything was wonderful and I had friends constantly around me and I was never lonely. I couldnt wait to get home and for the first 3 weeks it was great to be home. But then I started to remember all the reasons why I had prefered Australia before I got home sick and to be honest its just got worse and worse. 3 months later I was pinning for Australia worse than I ever did for England. Having been homesick for England and then return I realised that was all it was, homesickness.

 

Now were just about to our visa applications in for permanent residence and I'm still freaking out about being away fro family and friends but I now have a balanced view of going and coming back. Your not some crazy person who on the spure of the moment decided to move your family to the other side of the world. You thought long and hard and worked tirelessly to get there because in your heart you knew it was for the best. Give it some time, get down to the beach and the harbour and try and meet some people. Youve moved so far out of your comfort zone your bound to have a period of thinking you've made a mistake. Remember us humans like stability and routine not massive great big changes lol

 

I hope things settle down and you start to feel a bit better. Try and keep your chin up x

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Guest 5am8011

Hi im in no position to be giving advice iv not taken this step yet (hopefully i will soon) but my cousin picked up one day and left for oz. she was there 3 weeks and every day she phoned her dad (my uncle) crying she wanted to come home. my uncle told her to chill out relax she is doing the right thing for her and her family he told her to set a not to distant date, in her case 6 weeks. dont think about homesickness and what she left behind but live in the now and do the enjoyable things she could now do. and if she was still unhappy he would pay for them to come home. the home sickness died down after a couple of weeks she felt more comfortable and my uncle vists twice a year and skypes her reguarly (i think this helps) and she has settled down nicely. i think you have to set a realistic target and just enjoy your self if by the trget date your still unhappy then y not move back home the only person you would be kidding is yourself at least you wont have the wat if regret. just a thought. best of luck sam :smile::hug:

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I think people put huge expectations on themselves and on the country when they move here. I noticed in myself that we had so long to plan this great event and had imagined and talked about everything that it would encompass, for so long that I felt really deflated when we arrived! lets face it when you are in a zone for so long anything will be an anticlimax!! The thing is dont keep thinking " I should feel like this"" or "I should be doing that" because of the images that you had in your head. Remember life is an adventure full of opportunites and choices the old country will not go anywhere while you have your experiences and then if at the end of the day its not right for you then you can return. It will be harder for you if you constantly try to make everything live up to certain expectations, you will be so busy looking for the grand life altering moments that you wont see all the little things that all eventually, collectively make it what you wanted and make this your home. The main thing is to stay focussed and keep yourself as busy and as possible giveing yourself as many opportunites to meet people as possible, And hey if someone from this site offers to meet for a coffee and a chat - do it!!

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I think part of the problem is this 'living the dream' thing. Live in the real world and you are likely to be less disappointed.

 

If you can walk back into a life without too much damage then go for it (ie house, job, school) especially if you have kids at a vulnerable school age (eg teenagers) but try and give it as long as you have before you ruin any chances of a painless move back.

 

Otherwise as the others have said, set a date at which you will make a definite decision about where your best opportunities lie and throw yourself into enjoying every moment until that point. Whatever you do, dont think of this as a 'forever' situation because that way madness lies.

 

You will probably become desensitized to a lot of things that are bugging you at the moment and I differ from many others on here but I would keep off Skype, Facebook and the phone for a little while because it is just like picking at a scab and it never gets the chance to heal.

 

Good luck, living where you feel you dont belong is the pits

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hi hope you feel ok , i no that feeling i was in brisbane for 7 months last year i was so upset wondered what we had done i still liked it but couldnt settle and missed family to much so we packed up and went back to scotland and only lasted 8 months and came back to oz we realised our quality of life and for the kids was way better here >> maybe go back for a holiday as u could go back and want oz again and beleive me it will cost a fortune . good luck it will get easier !!!!!

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Guest EukiBear

I have only skimmed this thread so apologies if this has been asked and answered, may I ask where does hubby work?

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As we live in this cyber world why not try some of the mums and children forums like Essential Bay and Kidspot and there are others. As you have joined here and discussed stuff you can do the same there and after a while you meet people you gell with and can meetup. Also gives you good idea about schools, community and what is what in Aus. This is information you cannot read in a newspaper.

 

There are many mums just like you, not just new migrant but Australian and other nationalities who are living away from their family because of their work or other reasons. You are not alone.


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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Set yourself a goal...set out a 12 month plan and say we will give it 12 months and really try and enjoy ourselves thinking always that if it does not work out it is not the end of the world and you can always go back to Scotland, treat it as a one year holiday and if you still feel the same go home, at least you have tried.


Drinking rum before 11am does not make you an alcoholic, it makes you pirate..

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Guest sh7t man no way

the general rule of thumb in oz is 2 years--but life is short,and you only have one life--can you waste 2 years of it is the question:wubclub:

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