Guest51810 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 lol i keep kidding myself that i'll be sportier too. Everything you said is true, im looking foward to a challenge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I expected to hate it to begin with and then love it - but I hated it, then liked some of it then loved the beautiful bits (always will) but still had the empty feeling (did everything you;re supposed to made friends, joined clubs etc.). I had been before so knew what to expect - but I can remember sitting on the beach on my own reading a book taking it all in and thinking this is so beautiful - but is it worth giving up your life for - I said that to my teenage son (19 at the time) and he completely agreed? Also I think its harder with kids because you have their future to think about OH and I would have tried Sydney for a couple of years before heading back if we weren't worried about kids education. Anyway my kids are having the time of their lives in UK all the better for having had three years in Oz I suspect. My eldest at top med school has had a better social life in a month than he had in oz for three years. so for us all good in UK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Incidentally Alan, I'm impressed that you managed to spell 'receive' correctlythanks dom one trys 2 make some type of effort 2 maintain one standards--i felt my standards should be upped for such an important thread:wink:just got lucky with me spelling:biggrin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 When I returned to Uk I expected to hate it but ended up loving it.... When we came here there was no time for research... Thought, we're old hands at this now! How can Sydney be horrible? We'll love it and have this wonderful lifestyle everyone is on about! The reality of the matter is that I have lost a fantastic job I had in the Uk and no longer live in my lovely house, and am having to start all over again. Sydney has not met my expectations, and despite the weather, in the every day things my quality of life was better in the Uk. All of this has knocked the stuffing out of me and that is the last thing I expected! Sticking it out for now and think it shall all get better somehow, but tbh, I would go back if I could and at this point in my life wish I were more settled and not having to start all over again.... done it too many times now and feel as though it is a kind of delay in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 When I returned to Uk I expected to hate it but ended up loving it.... When we came here there was no time for research... Thought, we're old hands at this now! How can Sydney be horrible? We'll love it and have this wonderful lifestyle everyone is on about! The reality of the matter is that I have lost a fantastic job I had in the Uk and no longer live in my lovely house, and am having to start all over again. Sydney has not met my expectations, and despite the weather, in the every day things my quality of life was better in the Uk.All of this has knocked the stuffing out of me and that is the last thing I expected! Sticking it out for now and think it shall all get better somehow, but tbh, I would go back if I could and at this point in my life wish I were more settled and not having to start all over again.... done it too many times now and feel as though it is a kind of delay in my life. There isnt much i can say really but heres a :hug: I hope things get better for you soon x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 lol i keep kidding myself that i'll be sportier too. Everything you said is true, im looking foward to a challenge! IMO it is totally totally impossible to predict how long it will take to make friends or how easily they will come. I lived n NZ before here, only for 14 months and I had great friends. However, 4 years here and it was at least 3 years before I even had one. Here's the thing. I went to NZ on my own and hence had to make friends, when I came here I came with my partner, hence the problem. I did not become complacent because I had a partner, the problem was that my partner wouldn't try to meet people with me. SO, I ended up looking like a single person when really I wasn't. In hindsight, I should have just continued and not worried about him, but I got very tired of explaining why I was "there" by myself (at meets and stuff) and got embarrassed and just gave up. ALSO, due to a lack of confidence, I would end up totally drunk at any meet up with new people and I think it was a bit off putting:embarrassed: But hey ho, you live and learn. My advice, be yourself, try and go wherever you are invited and if you wanna have a few drinks, make sure you can still stand:goofy: But TBH now I look back, some of it IS funny:biglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 We sound similar, i drink when im feeling awkward so i'll have to steady myself! I usually dont make as much a effort as i should when making friends but i'll really have to push myself, im looking foward to it tho. I think on heres really good for meetups, theres a scots in perth thread so if we go going to meet up with them but i also want to make aussie friends. im sending dave off to the rangers supporters club lol hopefully he'll make a friend or two there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 When I returned to Uk I expected to hate it but ended up loving it.... When we came here there was no time for research... Thought, we're old hands at this now! How can Sydney be horrible? We'll love it and have this wonderful lifestyle everyone is on about! The reality of the matter is that I have lost a fantastic job I had in the Uk and no longer live in my lovely house, and am having to start all over again. Sydney has not met my expectations, and despite the weather, in the every day things my quality of life was better in the Uk.All of this has knocked the stuffing out of me and that is the last thing I expected! Sticking it out for now and think it shall all get better somehow, but tbh, I would go back if I could and at this point in my life wish I were more settled and not having to start all over again.... done it too many times now and feel as though it is a kind of delay in my life. I'm with you there. For such a long time, I kept thinking about how much time I am wasting of my life. But really you are not, It is never a waste, or delayed as you say. Pablo told me to enjoy the things I can while I am undecided or unhappy and it is good advice. You sound exactly like I felt. In time, you will work it out and know where you need to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 when are you coming back to scotland? if we're leaving it'll be around april or may i think so hopefully we can get that night out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 We sound similar, i drink when im feeling awkward so i'll have to steady myself! I usually dont make as much a effort as i should when making friends but i'll really have to push myself, im looking foward to it tho. I think on heres really good for meetups, theres a scots in perth thread so if we go going to meet up with them but i also want to make aussie friends. im sending dave off to the rangers supporters club lol hopefully he'll make a friend or two there You know what? I wouldn't change any of it though. I'd advise my own daughter or anyone else to be more aware of their own personal safety though. ie. going to nightclubs alone in Auckland City Centre or Surfers Paradise, is definitely ill advised but I was desperate. I'll tell you something else as well, women do not make friends while drunk at a pub (like men can), I am sure you know this, anyway. The only people who want to talk to drunk women alone at pubs are (some) men who are a little bit :Randy-git: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Feb/March hopefully:biggrin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 You know what? I wouldn't change any of it though. I'd advise my own daughter or anyone else to be more aware of their own personal safety though. ie. going to nightclubs alone in Auckland City Centre or Surfers Paradise, is definitely ill advised but I was desperate. I'll tell you something else as well, women do not make friends while drunk at a pub, I am sure you know this, anyway. The only people who want to talk to drunk women at pubs are men who are a little bit :Randy-git: At least its a bit of life experience! not long till your back, just in time for a lovely spring :wubclub: Yeah men always seem to have a drunk women rador even if your not falling around lol. When im drunk I always seem to get weirdos talking to me :wideeyed: think its my perfume or something lol. Im hoping i can just tag along on one of these meetups or maybe a neighbour will invite us round for a drink or bbq Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 At least its a bit of life experience! not long till your back, just in time for a lovely spring :wubclub: Yeah men always seem to have a drunk women rador even if your not falling around lol. When im drunk I always seem to get weirdos talking to me :wideeyed: think its my perfume or something lol. Im hoping i can just tag along on one of these meetups or maybe a neighbour will invite us round for a drink or bbq I'm sure you will. It'll be grand. When I am drunk I think I am the weirdo:embarrassed: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I remember VERY EMBARRASSINGLY telling this girl I met that we should hook up and I SWEAR she thought I was coming on to her (to be honest I probably would have just for a bit of female company, desperate times and all that:laugh:) I was trying to be cool , but it turns out, you are not supposed to say hook up' apparantly it's 'hang out' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I'm sure you will. It'll be grand. When I am drunk I think I am the weirdo:embarrassed: Lol the funny thing is when im drunk and they start talking to me i usually act like their my best friend, its not like i tell them to get lost or anything! I probably talk a load of rubbish to them :laugh: its only the next day my friends will say who was that weird man you were talking to last night:goofy: Shouldnt really be let out the house! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Our expectations were based on the reality of living here before for extended periods,both with kids and without and also having an aussie husband.We did not fall into the 'life will be better,more opportunities for kids,blah blah' catagory of thinking because we knew,for us,.. this was a load of malarky.We expected life to be different to life in Ireland and the rest would depend on a combination of hard work,motivation and a pinch of good luck. In many ways our expectations have been spot on.It's been tough at times,we've worked hard,had a ball at times,felt lonely at times and everything in between. What we had not expected however is how non-stimulating we would find it.It's been great for the 3yrs but I cannot imagine living it forever.Yes we could move elsewhere but why bother?Been there and done that before.We have decided to cut our losses and head back to where we enjoyed life.To head back where we do not feel like life is passing us by. Were our expectations too high?I don't think so.We just don't like it here enough to stay long term.What we left behind was way better for our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 IMO it is totally totally impossible to predict how long it will take to make friends or how easily they will come. I lived n NZ before here, only for 14 months and I had great friends. However, 4 years here and it was at least 3 years before I even had one. Here's the thing. I went to NZ on my own and hence had to make friends, when I came here I came with my partner, hence the problem. I did not become complacent because I had a partner, the problem was that my partner wouldn't try to meet people with me. SO, I ended up looking like a single person when really I wasn't. In hindsight, I should have just continued and not worried about him, but I got very tired of explaining why I was "there" by myself (at meets and stuff) and got embarrassed and just gave up. ALSO, due to a lack of confidence, I would end up totally drunk at any meet up with new people and I think it was a bit off putting:embarrassed: But hey ho, you live and learn. My advice, be yourself, try and go wherever you are invited and if you wanna have a few drinks, make sure you can still stand:goofy: But TBH now I look back, some of it IS funny:biglaugh: totally agree. One thing I've found which has really bolstered my confidence is to NOT do things I wouldn't normally do just for the sake of making friends. Talking nicely without swearing or without my usual sense of humour......pointless Pretending to be interested in fishing and footy......pointless If they're proper friends they've got to like who you are warts and all, after all you've got to like them ain'tya? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcmillsa Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Feb/March hopefully:biggrin: Me too looking at Feb/March for me and my son to go first Daughter will follow in April and husband in May/June we are all staggered! The only way we best get home we think although would all love to go together just not practical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 i want to change when i step off the plane, i know its going to be a struggle though. i guess the only person who can change you; is you! doesn't make it any easier though. i hope the telly is sh!te, that will help a lot. The telly is ****e mate :embarrassed: that;'s why so many people are in bed by 9 in the evening .... seriously, I have never known people who go to bed so early..The only people who stay up late are Poms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 totally agree. One thing I've found which has really bolstered my confidence is to NOT do things I wouldn't normally do just for the sake of making friends. Talking nicely without swearing or without my usual sense of humour......pointless Pretending to be interested in fishing and footy......pointless If they're proper friends they've got to like who you are warts and all, after all you've got to like them ain'tya? I know. I tried not swearing for a while and talking about crap that BORES me to death, pretending to find things funny that I didn't. Just makes me look like a **** in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 The telly is ****e mate :embarrassed: that;'s why so many people are in bed by 9 in the evening .... seriously, I have never known people who go to bed so early..The only people who stay up late are Poms. Telly is totally ****e...agreed. You need satelite. Unless of course you are out at the beach playing volleyball and making loads of mates. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Telly is totally ****e...agreed. You need satelite. Unless of course you are out at the beach playing volleyball and making loads of mates. :biglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz B Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I think mine and my hubbies expectations were probably a bit high, and probably thought we would be superfit and mega active. We try and get out walking and getting bikes for christmas so we can all have a bike ride together. We have a swim in the warmer weather, but I can't help thinking about sharks now! We saw one just over a year ago at quinns beach, and quite close to the beach! Hubby didn't believe and realised after he got out and saw it, that he should have listened to the people shouting, I think it put the kids off the vac swim down there in the early morning! Anyway after living here for over 4 years, I know that I want to move back to blighty, but it isn't just me and that makes the decision so hard. I also know that there will be some things I would miss from Aus, but know it is not for me in the long term future. A lot of peoples thoughts and what they feel I can relate to them all. Lizzy :wubclub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 ......................I hoped that we would have more oppertunities to get on...................we did ............the work was there for OH..........it wasn't easy but hard work and determination paid off.............but I didn't expect me or mine to 'change'..............the boys were always outdoor kids..................instead of nagging them to wrap up and wear coats....................it was wear a hat and sunscreen.....................I never did play sports..............still don't...............was not a great socialiser..............still aren't..............we are able to travel a bit here and see parts of this beautiful country........................we couldn't afford to do that when we lived in the uk........................the boys have done well in their career choices................wouldn't of afforded to help them in the UK...........................so Australia has lived up to the expectations of a better quality of life for my family......................but most of us [imo] take 'ourselves'.......................where ever we go................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Cheers, i dont expect it to be easy, Im shy so im going to have to come out of my shell more over there to make friends! I dont stay shy for too long tho and im looking foward to making new friends even if it takes a while. I always wondered if its easier for people who have kids because as you say - theres the school runs, kids parties etc. I'll just have to join clubs etc plus theres here, always seems to be meetups Migrating, even within the same country, is such a subjective experience and what works for one, is a disaster for another. That Scottish girl I told you about who worked in The Trinity Bar, I asked her what she liked about Sydney? 'EVERYTHING!' Caroline, the Irish girl who also worked there said the same thing and both were very sad that they could not stay longer (both on WHV's) Did I tell you about Seamus, the Irish guy whom I got talking to in The Trinity Bar? I first met him when I was in the YHA hostel at Central whilst I was in between house moves. He had just arrived in Sydney for the first time on his WHV. He recognized me in the Trinity - 'You're Dave! Don't you remember me? Seamus from the YHA?' He was with a mate whom I automatically assumed must be another Irish/English bloke. No, he's an Aussie. Listening to Seamus' experiences it was like hearing a 'blueprint' for success in migration. Live in hostels for a while, non-stop partying, travelling, then get a job, a flat, get sponsored by his employer for a change to a 457 visa. He plays squash socially in a league and does other sports/gym, made a load of friends, both Irish/British & 'Native!' But somebody else, in the same circumstances, might find it hard to settle. I've found it easier the second time around, perhaps because I can't 'escape' to my Mum and Dad any more and I've had to 'push' myself to talk to people a bit more. Those barmaids I talk to for instance. I think there was a time when I thought people on the other side of the bar were 'different', to be kept at arm's length. I can remember walking around this same suburb, on a Sunday, feeling lost, desolate, isolated, and I can imagine it's the way that others feel. I guess it just takes time for a place to feel 'Home' not 'Away!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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