Harpodom Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 .......in the minds of family and friends back in the UK? For example, emails... There was a time when I'd take ages to reply to emails from friends etc, basically cos I was lazy and disorganised. Nowadays I'm at the other extreme, if friends email me from the UK, I reply almost immediately and then wait up to 2 or 3 weeks for a one line reply! Yesterday I sent a very lengthy email to all my family with pics. So far, no response. For example, Facebook.... I joined this intially with the aim of keeping my family up to date with photos etc of our kids. After 3 years of minimal or no feedback from them to all the photos I've shared, I've pretty much given up. For example, phonecalls.... I think I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of phonecalls I've had with my brother, likewise my sister and best mates. I suspect I'm not alone in this. It honestly feels like they've 'moved on'. Anyone else feel like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Yes, all the time. Although I am not close to my family and I understand friends are busy with small children, it is difficult..... You see, their lives go on the same regardless of us not being there every day, and it is the ones who move away who are "cut off" which, to me, is painful. There are one or two people who have surprised me and keep in touch more often than I would have thought, but most friends only really reply to emails I send. Perhaps I am just too sensitive and need to get some thicker skin! :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Unfortunately I'm one of the ones who struggles to reply to emails and pm's. I get so many messages come through that sometimes it can take a few weeks to reply, other times I totally forget, it is nothing personal just not enough hours in a day. We are always in trouble with the family in the UK for not keeping in touch, in fact you have just reminded me we have a family wedding coming up and I haven't sent a card yet oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 ......................I guess it comes down to your expectations...................I used to always send cards..............telephone and write letters............:chatterbox:........then become a little perturbed when this was not returned with the same enthusiasm.......:mad:...........since then I have learnt to accept people for the individuals they are......................one friend who I had'nt seen for over a year...............I bumped into on a travel........................we spent the afternoon enjoying each others news........:smile:........one friend is an avid emailer.......................I sometimes find I really don't have anything new to share..............:eek:..............often we need to accept that not everyone shares our perception of staying in touch.......................but if and when the need or oppertunity arrises...............they would if wanted to get in touch...............or be able to continue the rapport ...........................even after years apart..............:smile:by accepting what you get from a friendship........................instead of worrying about what you expect........................can help maintain life long frienships.............in my humble opinion.................:wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 reading the OP again, I do come across as a whingey little git. Most of the time things like this don't faze me in the slightest, but there's odd times when I just wish certain people would act as if they gave a $hit.... Still, as Naomi said, we chose to come here, not them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 ...................I don't think the post indicates "a whingey little git "..........:wideeyed:.................more someone dissapointed that the same enthusiasm........................isn't shown with .....................their perception of keeping in touch................:yes:..........we've all done it....................I have sent cards picked especially for a person.......................and when I have asked how they liked it................have felt dissapointed when the acceptance was luke warm[imo]...............:frown:.............so now I don't have any preconcieved ideas about others reactions and try not to judge others by my expectations........................each to their own is a good mantra...............:smile:................you cannot change people and their actions only the way you react to them......................! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I know my dad had a lot of grief from his family when he came here many years ago now Dom, and it wasn't till I went over there to live that they actually told me all this rubbish about how Dad had gone and left his mother there alone, etc, when the actual story was she didn't want to come to Australia and had children from another marriage to attend to, so she didn't want to uproot them. The nonsense I heard from the family was unbelievable. They said that Dad had gone so far away that he may as well have gone to another planet to start another life - it seems the distance is too great for people to stay connected in some instances? You would think it would be better these days with all the social media etc, but maybe not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 In the UK atm I rarely hear from my twin sister, but hear from Mum and Dad all the time. But - if I'm honest - I don't exactly call her either!! Although it'd be nice if she replied to the emails I've sent at all... Ah well, I know they love me, it's just we're both pretty rubbish at communicating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 ...................I don't think the post indicates "a whingey little git "..........:wideeyed:................. I do:wink: Only joking Harpo you know I love you really:tongue: I think as we get older we want to try and keep in touch more with friends and family. It reminds me of the song Cats in the Cradle [YOUTUBE]bSwL9deXNW8[/YOUTUBE] My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew He said, "I’m gonna be like you, Dad, You know I’m gonna be like you" And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon When you comin home, dad, I don’t know when, But we'll get together then, Son, You know we'll have a good time then. My son turned ten just the other day He said "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on lets play can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do" He said "Thats okay" And then he walked away but his smile never dimmed And said "I’m gonna be like him, yeah You know I’m going to be like him" And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin home, dad, I dont know when, But we'll get together then, Son, You know we'll have a good time then. Well he came from college just the other day So much like a man I just had to say, "Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?" He shook his head, and he said with a smile "What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys See you later, can I have them please?" And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin home, Son, I dont know when, But we'll get together then, Dad, You know we'll have a good time then. I’ve long since retired, my son's moved away I called him up just the other day........ I said "I'd like to see you if you don’t mind" He said "I'd love to Dad, if I could find the time. You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu. But It's sure nice talking to you, Dad, It's been sure nice talking to you........" And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me, My boy was just like me.............. And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin home, Son, I dont know when, But we'll get together then, Dad We're gonna have a good time then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
domestic goddess Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 My OH sister got married a couple of weeks ago at home we were sick we weren't gonna be there so we decided to have a wedding party over here. So wedding balloons, guests, foof and drink all in the house, we had Skype on and we got to see the bride and family. Not forgetting the garter!! Ours families are very good at keeping in touch and some friends maybe were just lucky or maybe in time that will change who knows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 As in this famous sketch Dom, yes tis true. [YOUTUBE]npjOSLCR2hE[/YOUTUBE] Dead, deceased, non existent, expired of life, no more,:no::no::biglaugh: I know I expect far too much from people, but occasionally, JUST OCCASIONALLY, some bugger acknowledge my existence for gods sake.:cry::cry::no::biglaugh::biglaugh: PS. Is it any wonder I look miserable in my photo,:biglaugh: Cheers Tony.:wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 As in this famous sketch Dom, yes tis true. [YOUTUBE]npjOSLCR2hE[/YOUTUBE] Dead, deceased, non existent, expired of life, no more,:no::no::biglaugh: I know I expect far too much from people, but occasionally, JUST OCCASIONALLY, some bugger acknowledge my existence for gods sake.:cry::cry::no::biglaugh::biglaugh: PS. Is it any wonder I look miserable in my photo,:biglaugh: Cheers Tony.:wink: .... the place would be an empty wilderness without you :cute: :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 .... the place would be an empty wilderness without you :cute: :hug: I want to adopt you Cats,:notworthy: I reckon if I got a bit part on Eastenders, Corry or Emmerdale my family might, just might occasionally say, 'Isn't that errmmmm, hang on, hang on, the face rings a bell, but buggered if I can remember his name'.:cry::cry::shocked::biglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I want to adopt you Cats,:notworthy: I reckon if I got a bit part on Eastenders, Corry or Emmerdale my family might, just might occasionally say, 'Isn't that errmmmm, hang on, hang on, the face rings a bell, but buggered if I can remember his name'.:cry::cry::shocked::biglaugh: Aw, that would be nice :wubclub: Honestly, some family we are better off without.... mine were probably lovely in another life :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Aw, that would be nice :wubclub:Honestly, some family we are better off without.... mine were probably lovely in another life :huh: :notworthy::notworthy::notworthy: Post of the month Cats.:yes::notworthy::biglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackboots Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Agreed .. on all of the above .. i feel as i'm in my hamster cage and living an alternate reality at times :unsure: sometimes i get really sad that friends and family forget the important dates from over there .. and i also find it strange that the ones who created the most fuss over us leaving are the ones who rarely keep in touch if ever now ... as you say our choice to up and move across the globe .. maybe its just as hard or upsetting for them to keep in touch, as it is for us that they don't .... did that make sense ? :smile: ( or is that my rosie coloued tints again ?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 whos this harpodom member:confused:best post on his thread he sounds grumpy--i usually dont reply 2 members that dont exist--but theres always a first:wideeyed:he probaly wont get back 2 me:mad::wink::no: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landv Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Don't jump to conclusions that they don't care or "forgot" you Harpo. I know, personally I'm very bad at replying to emails, making phonecalls etc., constantly putting them off and is always on my list of things to do. Im well known for sending birthday cards and anniversary cards late. And probably people back home think that, " oh she doesn't care anymore, she's living it up in Oz now, we don't matter anymore ", which couldn't be further from the truth. Have some of this :hug::hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Don't jump into conclusions that they don't care or "forgot" you Harpo. I know, personally I'm very bad at replying to emails, making phonecalls etc., constantly putting them off and is always on my list of things to do. Im well known for sending birthday cards and anniversary cards late. And probably people back home think that, " oh she doesn't care anymore, she's living it up in Oz now, we don't matter anymore ", which couldn't be further from the truth. Have some of this :hug::hug: cheers v :hug: I got a lovely email back from my sister, my faith in humanity is largely restored. I'm as much to blame as any of the people I was talking about in the OP. TBH I'm often too busy using forums etc to stop and think about contacting the people I love. I suppose the lesson, as well as not having too high expections, would be to make a concerted effort to stay in touch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 One thing that often prevents people from phoning or emailing is that they feel that because they've not spoken/emailed for a while, they should make it a long one, and so they wait until they've got time for this, which may mean months between calls/emails. It can be worth training yourself and your friends that little and often is fine too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 good point Rocky, and never underestimate the effect apathy has. I often think about certain people and how great it would be to catch up with them, but that doesn't necessarily translate into action! the time difference is quite an obstacle too. I think a lot of people aren't quite sure WTF the time is over here and don't want to interfere with putting kids into bed etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Yeah, I have international clocks on my phone and computer, so I can check at the touch of a button what time it is in the various countries my family/friends live in. I can generally remember, but then daylight savings hits, and I get confused again... If I'm thinking of someone but can't call them because of time, I try to either txt, email or facebook a short message. The joys of smart-phones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 cheers v:hug: I got a lovely email back from my sister, my faith in humanity is largely restored. Oops hope she didn't see your post on PIO:wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Oops hope she didn't see your post on PIO:wink: listen you:mad: I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boganbear Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Yep the only person who phones I my dad who gets free international phone calls on talktalk. I get a few comments on facebook but thats it so I might soon delete facebook and bugger to the lot of them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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