ali Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 So glad its working out for you, teenagers are Gods punishment for having sex! When does he stop punishing us lol? This has been a brilliant thread - full of advice, understanding, tears (i'm sure) and a little laughter ... bit like having a teenager ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkio Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 :ssign12: Updating again folks. It's been six months since my original post. Son is now 17 and has been out of work since he lost his college place. The good news (for us) is that Son, GF and I have just returned from Aus. We just popped over for 10 days :SLEEP: for him to have a bit of a look and get that all important stamp in his passport. We made it over with 13 days to spare - talk about cutting it fine!! We spent half the time in Fremantle and the other half in Mandurah (two very different places and experiences). Seems like he preferred Mandurah. I can't say that I am certain that he will move with us next year, but I believe that he feels more open to the idea. Although we have always told him that it isn't like going to China or Spain, he wasn't prepared for just how easy it was to feel like he could fit in. Whatever happens now, I'm proud of him for having the maturity to admit that he may not have initially made the right decision for himself and I'm very very happy that he has kept his options open for the next four years. It's getting very hard to move around with all these things crossed by the way!! :biggrin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 So, I've read a similar thread starter to this several times. Like it says on the tin, my 16 yr old son refuses to come and says he has arranged to live with his 15 year old girlfriend and her family we leave. My god I am in pieces. He left school this year and has spent more time with them than with us since then. He is at college and has no job or means of income. To be honest, he never has been that keen, but we got his visa anyway and crossed our fingers. Now our dream is in ruins because there is no way on earth I can even consider leaving my child here on his own. We have family here, but we aren't close emotionally (albeit geographically quite close).Today I had the conversation that I have been putting off for a while now. I've been trying to avoid backing him into a corner where he would actually say "NO" and then feel that he can't back down. I wanted to leave him room to manouvre and change his mind without having to admit to it. He sat there trying to be all hard and said "well you are the ones who are f..ing off over the over side of the world and leaving me on my own" he sounded so lost and young. I told him that I had never thought it would come to this. I always thought he would come. It never occurred to me that he wouldn't. We have another son of 14 who is keen and had hoped to get over before January so he could start his final years of school over in WA. Well that's not going to happen is it? So three of us do want to go and the other one is stamping his feet. Ok, why should he have to do something he doesn't want to? But why the hell should we have to give up our hopes? Dammit, he hasn't even given it a chance. We wanted to do this for their flippin benefit as well as ours. Why wont he try it for a few months and see if he might actually like it? So now we've sort of decided that if we do get a buyer we will sell our house and downsize to a smaller one, maybe a fixer upper and free off much of our capital, so that when we are in a position to leave we wont have to wait for a buyer again. When second son finishes his high school education in two years we will look at it again and see what position number one Son is in. By then he will be nearly 19. Still not old enough to be left alone but maybe not so much of a child and he may have grown a little by then and have come to the same conclusions that we have about the prospects in England versus Aus. If not - well, he will be an adult and will have to make his own decision and still have another couple of years before the five are up. Isn't it amazing, when you want something so much its like its more important than anything.. And yet here we are doing everything we can to get home! It's hard if you have put all your hopes into this and now you feel you cannot go, but its amazing how single minded we all become, we have come to realise that our friends and family are far more important than Australia (which we are not mad keen on anyway) but before we came out we were convinced it was the perfect move for us. I suppose the question to ask is, how come you didnt go to Australia 10 years ago? I know its no help, but I wonder why you have suddenly decided now that you have to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 :ssign12: Updating again folks. It's been six months since my original post. Son is now 17 and has been out of work since he lost his college place. The good news (for us) is that Son, GF and I have just returned from Aus. We just popped over for 10 days :SLEEP: for him to have a bit of a look and get that all important stamp in his passport. We made it over with 13 days to spare - talk about cutting it fine!! We spent half the time in Fremantle and the other half in Mandurah (two very different places and experiences). Seems like he preferred Mandurah. I can't say that I am certain that he will move with us next year, but I believe that he feels more open to the idea. Although we have always told him that it isn't like going to China or Spain, he wasn't prepared for just how easy it was to feel like he could fit in. Whatever happens now, I'm proud of him for having the maturity to admit that he may not have initially made the right decision for himself and I'm very very happy that he has kept his options open for the next four years. It's getting very hard to move around with all these things crossed by the way!! :biggrin: Wow, I am so pleased for you and so impressed by your son that he actually validated his visa (did his girlfriend like Aus by the way?). The fact he's kept his options open is wonderful. Great news for you all xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzbound Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 We had a very reluctant 16 year old being dragged here diggin in her heels and now 19, she would not return to the UK at all!!! Bloody kids, I love our life here and I am so pleased she loves it too. She has a better life and many more opportunities than she would have back in the UK. I'm so proud of her for making the effort and making something of her life. You did the right thing bringing everyone out here to look around its so different to looking on the internet or at pictures. I wish you all the luck in the world and fingers crossed it all works out for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveS Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 This thread was a really good read! Glad you got him to validate Lurkio. Have to say he sounds incredibly immature to waste that initial flight! I would have struggled to contain myself in that situation. I do not look forward to my Son (7 weeks old) turning into a teenager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 :ssign12: Updating again folks. It's been six months since my original post. Son is now 17 and has been out of work since he lost his college place. The good news (for us) is that Son, GF and I have just returned from Aus. We just popped over for 10 days :SLEEP: for him to have a bit of a look and get that all important stamp in his passport. We made it over with 13 days to spare - talk about cutting it fine!! We spent half the time in Fremantle and the other half in Mandurah (two very different places and experiences). Seems like he preferred Mandurah. I can't say that I am certain that he will move with us next year, but I believe that he feels more open to the idea. Although we have always told him that it isn't like going to China or Spain, he wasn't prepared for just how easy it was to feel like he could fit in. Whatever happens now, I'm proud of him for having the maturity to admit that he may not have initially made the right decision for himself and I'm very very happy that he has kept his options open for the next four years. It's getting very hard to move around with all these things crossed by the way!! :biggrin: Thanks for the update, it's been a very interesting thread. You certainly have a lot more patience than me. You should show your son this thread and it may suddenly dawn on him what a little s*** he is being and what people actually think. We have some friends who emigrated about 10 years ago. They came from Manchester and had 2 sons 14 and 16 when they came. We only new them through mutual friends and had only met once before when they came to validate their visas. They stayed with us for a couple of weeks when they emigrated for real. Both the kids were dead against it. They were pretty obnoxious to say the least. Too cool for school types. They both started school here and behaved like they had in Manchester. Whatever the teacher said they did the opposite. Would have been cool in the UK apparently but in the school here the kids thought they were a couple of no-hopers and wouldn't have much to do with them. They have both really changes now, took them a while but they have changed immensely. Both have jobs, one is married and earning a great salary as a draftsman for a mining company. Hope you get things sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest68570 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 Tbh What I wouldn't give to be in your sons situation right now... I am 20 and I really desperatley want to move to oz. But If I want to go I have to get a degree or get sponsered, all your son has to do is get on a plane. Envious to say the least. Tell him to pull himself together and see what a sh*thole Britain is and that this girlfreind probably isnt worth it. I would give anything for my parents to come home from work and say because of them I'm going to get to move to Australia any day soon... Its a funny world we live in...! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkio Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 (edited) For all of you who were kind enough to take an interest in my problems - I thought you might like an update??? So here we are nearly two years down the line and we're all here in WA! The little horror held out right up to the morning of the move (when the shippers had been with us for two days) then changed his mind and moved with us. Obviously we had bought his plane ticket and planned for him to come regardless, but if he had held out and not come we planned to take a two month holiday until the container arrived. If he hadn't moved by then we would have simply turned the container round and returned to England. We've been here nearly two weeks now. My H has already got a job and we are hunting for a long term rental. I'm not saying that it is plain sailing with my boy - he is missing his friends and his girlfriend, but he's here and is prepared to give it a shot. He's got his white card, is looking for a job and starting driving lessons. I can't ask for more than that in the circumstances. He's here with us and that's the most important thing in the world for us. Edited September 14, 2013 by Lurkio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobbsy Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 You bring back memories. When I was sixteen, my family moved to a new town (a couple hundred miles away). It wasn't anything like a move to Australia but, even so, I really didn't want to move and leave all my friends. In those days in Canada a sixteen year old didn't have the right to move out on his own and I was simply told "you're moving". The worst day was starting my new school--I actually tried to pull a sickie but was sent anyway. However, it only took a day or two to realise the move was the best thing that ever happened to me. Although I had friends, the old school was fairly large and had it's share of bullies. The new school was a quarter the size, had an enthusiastic staff and the students made it easy for me to fit in. It's not an exaggeration to say the move was a life changing experience for the better. Anyhow, I wish you well and hope your son has the same experience here in Aus! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 It's great to see it all turned out for the better. Bit of a bummer to arrive with all this rain but soon we should have an awesome summer woohoo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 I hope your son soon settles in and starts to feel like Australia is his home. Is his girlfriend planning on coming over? I remember my first love, as do we all and at that age it seems like its the most important thing in the world. Id also perhaps encourage your son to gain some employment or education as sitting at home every day may lead him to dislike the place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Great to hear he's with you and achieved quite a lot in the short time with his white card and driving lessons - does he fancy any TAFE courses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 For all of you who were kind enough to take an interest in my problems - I thought you might like an update??? So here we are nearly two years down the line and all four of us are here in Rockingham WA! The little horror held out right up to the morning of the move (when the shippers had been with us for two days) then caved in and moved with us. Obviously we had bought his plane ticket and planned for him to come regardless, but if he had held out and not come we planned to take a two month holiday until the container arrived. If he hadn't moved by then we would have simply turned the container round and returned to England. We've been here nearly two weeks now. My H has already got a job and we are hunting for a long term rental. I'm not saying that it is plain sailing with my boy - he is missing his friends and his girlfriend, but he's here and is prepared to give it a shot. He's got his white card, is looking for a job and starting driving lessons. I can't ask for more than that in the circumstances. He's here with us and that's the most important thing in the world for us. I read this thread and my son who is 18 now but still in college, was initially dead against coming to Australia and I told my husband that it would break my heart to leave him as I've already lost 2 of my sons and I couldn't bear to without my "baby" boy. I feel really lucky as he saw how torn I was by it and he's come to terms with the fact that he is coming with us. I am slightly different to you as I told him from the outset, he's coming and that's the end of the story, although he did ask me how I was going to "force" him on to the plane. I think his sisters also had a lot to do with it as when he was so resistant to coming, they kept crying saying that they didn't want him to stay behind and he was their best brother! They still feel the loss of their other brothers and I think he felt guilty making them suffer too. I am so happy for you that it's all worked so well and thank you for keeping the thread updated x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flybyknight Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 (edited) our situation was.... well is similar, our 17 year old was pussy whipped too, we promised him he could fly back if he came out with us for a holiday. the plan mainly was to validate his visa. on the holiday he was, well a complete brat! he made our life's a misery, it made it so much easier at the airport! we were both thinking that when you're 17, 5 years is forever, so we live in hope he'll return. he's got on his feet quick, and things seem pretty good for him. in all honestly we dont chat as much as we'd like, he's got his mates and a job in the co-op, and he's just being a big kid. it's a shame, but he was a headstrong kid anyway, a rebel. i think he would have either moved out pretty soon even if he had stayed. i suppose it would be amazing to have him back out here, we'd pay for the flight tomorrow. but at his age, he's finding himself anyway. i'm not totally sure we could stop that, even if he was under our roof. best they move out, while they still know everything just read more of the thread, so glad it's worked out for you. Edited September 13, 2013 by flybyknight should have read the whole thread! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Teenagers can be evil, we spend so many years running after them, easing their way through pre school, primary, high school, school plays, music lessons, youth clubs, birthday parties, swimming lessons, sleep overs, driving lessons, Saturday jobs, taxi service. we pussy foot around their wants, their needs, their feelings, their friends, their happiness and well being. So, at some point we want to do something for ourselves and you would expect a little bit of 2 way traffic here and to be fair, most kids I imagine would be on board with living in a beautiful place with the family that loves them but then others will dig their heels in and realise to their horror that it is no longer all about them. Wouldnt it be nice if kids would just give their parents a break and do something in return for all this time and love that's been lavished on them since the day they were born. Something as simple as validating a visa that has been handed to them on a plate. To the op, I am glad your son has finally agreed to join you in Australia but oh boy has he put you through it. you must have the patience of a saint, just reading through this thread has put my blood pressure up. good luck Metoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savitar Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 For all of you who were kind enough to take an interest in my problems - I thought you might like an update??? So here we are nearly two years down the line and all four of us are here in Rockingham WA! The little horror held out right up to the morning of the move (when the shippers had been with us for two days) then caved in and moved with us. Obviously we had bought his plane ticket and planned for him to come regardless, but if he had held out and not come we planned to take a two month holiday until the container arrived. If he hadn't moved by then we would have simply turned the container round and returned to England. We've been here nearly two weeks now. My H has already got a job and we are hunting for a long term rental. I'm not saying that it is plain sailing with my boy - he is missing his friends and his girlfriend, but he's here and is prepared to give it a shot. He's got his white card, is looking for a job and starting driving lessons. I can't ask for more than that in the circumstances. He's here with us and that's the most important thing in the world for us. Amazing news! You brought a smile to my face with this positive story. I know its been hard but alls well that ends well..... Good luck with the next chapter....I am sure he is on his way to the airport as I type, looking for a flight home....:wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Found this thread and followed it from the start. It was like buying a box-set getting the story from the beginning with twists and turns and a great ending..........or is it to be continued in Season 2. Some great comments and contributions too; some a bit unsympathetic. We are making our plans which will involve moving out to Oz when our daughter is 11. A few years later would work better for us financially but we were concerned about uprooting a potentially reluctant teenager at a more tricky time for schooling too. After reading your story we will definitely keep to the plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkio Posted September 14, 2013 Author Share Posted September 14, 2013 And the moral of this story is .... Plan your move and do it whilst your children young if at all possible. Thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement through the years - they have helped more than you could ever know xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 So good to hear a positive outcome!:biggrin: And the moral of this story is .... Plan your move and do it whilst your children young if at all possible. Thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement through the years - they have helped more than you could ever know xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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