Jump to content

You're currently viewing the forum as a Guest
register-now-button_orig.png
and join in with discussions   
ask migration questions
message other members

..and much much more!

The Pom Queen

Do we have to die in hospital

Recommended Posts

I have thought about this a lot recently and just wondered when your time comes would you want to be in a hospital ward maybe alone or at home with your family. Personally I want to be with my family at home, is this being selfish?


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Guest31881

No I do not think it is selfish, I also think that most families would like to be with their loved ones when they die. A lot of people find comfort in knowing that their loved ones had friends and family with them and died in the comfort of their own homes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think at home if I can :)


Jo (Aussie), Jon (Pom on a 100 visa), Satch (the gorgeous viscous labrador) have now been joined by Siena Rose.

Does anyone have a spare instruction manual for a baby girl?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd rather be walking along (or possibly shuffling) in a nice sunny park, or along the beach and then just 'BAMB!' no warning, just game over. Hopefully in a painless and 'didn't even know it had happened' way. But then I am a selfish bean (and don't really fuss much over dead bodies etc whereas I can imagine whoever found me might - ho hum, I'll be dead so won't stress too much over it I guess :biggrin:).

 

If I had to chose between the two though, would anyone actually chose a hospital? :err:


Moved on a 179 PR visa Feb 2012; Citizenship granted Jan 2016. Settled in Adelaide. Loving it and feel like everyday is paradise compared to life in the UK.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest37336

Wouldn't 'want' a hospital Kate at all.:no:

 

And neither would I want my family around me. I know that sounds harsh, but I have seen way too many folk be with their loved ones at the moment of death, and whilst I WHOLLY appreciate that they wanted to be there, the aftermath can often have huge impacts.

 

Though I love them dearly I wouldn't want/let them see me take my dying breath. Rather take myself of somewhere and 'do the deed' or let nature takes it course, the outback comes to mind,:idea::yes:

 

I have a very strong sense of a dying persons last wish, and within reason I will and would do ALL I can to facilitate this for anyone I know. My family have had enough bloody grief in their lives to contend with, and the last thing I would want to do is let them see me dying on a bed and leaving this mortal coil.:no:

 

Leave me alone to remember the good times I have had (which are many) and make peace with myself in my own time and location.

 

My Herbert's don't need to see a dying bloke who when was alive believed in living life to the full and squeezing every last drop of life out of it.

 

We have often spoken about this (in between Eastenders and Corry,:biglaugh:) and I think they know what I am trying to say.:wubclub:

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sh7t man no way

all depends what your dieing from m2m--if pain relief wuz necessary in a controlled environment then the law may require this 2 be done--its all a bit of a grey area i feel--but given the correct legal choice--aye home it would be for me:wubclub: maybee with a few coldies,and a toot--whilst the old girl wuz giving me some natural relief would be the way 2 go:vampire::wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Odd one, Katie...I think I would rather kark it in hospital. I have put my name on the organ donation list and, as I live 50 km from the nearest hospital, the time factor is critical.

 

Cheers, Bobj.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest37336
Odd one, Katie...I think I would rather kark it in hospital. I have put my name on the organ donation list and, as I live 50 km from the nearest hospital, the time factor is critical.

 

Cheers, Bobj.

 

When you finally kark it mate, which I know will be a long time yet, :yes: can you donate that fishing 'gene' of yours to me please.:notworthy::notworthy:

 

Cheers Tony.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Odd one, Katie...I think I would rather kark it in hospital. I have put my name on the organ donation list and, as I live 50 km from the nearest hospital, the time factor is critical.

 

Cheers, Bobj.

 

 

I never thought of it that way, im on the organ donation list too but im not too far from a hospital, about 25mins. this threads a bit depressing lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

well am nae fussed far a snuff it, if am in hospital hopefully al be in the arms o a young blond nurse:wub:cause her indoors will be skipping aboot ootside:laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
well am nae fussed far a snuff it, if am in hospital hopefully al be in the arms o a young blond nurse:wub:cause her indoors will be skipping aboot ootside:laugh:

 

 

or it might be a big old crabbit nurse lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
When you finally kark it mate, which I know will be a long time yet, :yes: can you donate that fishing 'gene' of yours to me please.:notworthy::notworthy:

 

Cheers Tony.

 

My genes...or my rods and reels??:nah:

 

Cheers, Bobj.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

or it might be a big old crabbit nurse lol
och it al nae matter , as lang as am nae in pain bugga it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest37336
My genes...or my rods and reels??:nah:

 

Cheers, Bobj.

 

:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

 

All gratefully received mate, oh and some of that memorabilia as well Bob if you don't mind.:wubclub::hug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im only joking, im sure you would have your pick of the nice nurses lol :wubclub:

 

 

tut tut tony you cant ask for stuff the now lol but if we're allowed then i want all your wildlife photos please!! :laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would like to be at home. They seem to let people stay at home these days and just have the nurse or doc call on them for drug therapy if necessary. Nicer at home, no seats in the hospital too noisy all that stuff.

 

However who knows it may be on the street corner :laugh:

 

Must be a paper coffin though do not want to waste resources


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have thought about this a lot recently and just wondered when your time comes would you want to be in a hospital ward maybe alone or at home with your family. Personally I want to be with my family at home, is this being selfish?

 

It's not being selfish at all, but sometimes it can't be done, depending on how much medical care a person needs at the end. Hopefully, if it has to be in hospital, at least your family will be with you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a very strong sense of a dying persons last wish, and within reason I will and would do ALL I can to facilitate this for anyone I know. My family have had enough bloody grief in their lives to contend with, and the last thing I would want to do is let them see me dying on a bed and leaving this mortal coil.:no:

Cheers Tony.:wink:

 

I (and two friends) were with my OH when he died in January (in hospital). I would have been devastated if I had not been there and it was a privilege to be there. I know this will sound weird but it was a strangely beautiful experience. We sat with him for 4 hours afterwards. My friend later said that it was the most life changing experience she has ever had.

 

The grief for your family, Tony, will not be in the actual moment of dying but in the stress of any illness that leads to it and your absence in the months and years afterwards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I (and two friends) were with my OH when he died in January (in hospital). I would have been devastated if I had not been there and it was a privilege to be there. I know this will sound weird but it was a strangely beautiful experience. We sat with him for 4 hours afterwards. My friend later said that it was the most life changing experience she has ever had.

 

The grief for your family, Tony, will not be in the actual moment of dying but in the stress of any illness that leads to it and your absence in the months and years afterwards.

I am so happy that you got to spend that time with him.:hug::hug:

I agree though about the family grief being during the illness, I suppose in the end you just want your loved one to be at peace.

It's quite funny because I'm not scared of dying anymore BUT I am scared of dying alone in hospital.


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I am so happy that you got to spend that time with him.:hug::hug:

I agree though about the family grief being during the illness, I suppose in the end you just want your loved one to be at peace.

It's quite funny because I'm not scared of dying anymore BUT I am scared of dying alone in hospital.

 

Yes, what you don't want is to see your loved one suffer, either mentally or physically. For my OH they put him on a syringe driver (slow release morphine and sedative) so he was pretty cruisey. He had a private room and ensuite bathroom in hospital (private health insurance comes into its own at times like these! :biggrin:). There was a recliner couch in the room for me which was VERY comfortable and they provided me with any meals I wanted. In fact I could have stayed full time except I had 4 cats to feed :cute:

 

And he's been around, without any doubt, in the 8 months since, so dying is definitely not the end:wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My fatherinlaw is in his 80s, the family asked him when he died did he want to be laid out in the house orfuneral home, I was horrified, he winked at me and said,

Do what you want with me,Ill be dead. Funny guy.

 

My gran died in hospital last xmas. I would have preferred if she was at home.

The nurses kept telling us to not over crowd the bed etc, and travelling down in the snow!!

 

I believe they pick their own time to leave. They often slip away when their loved ones pop out to get something to eat or something. I also can say it was a profound exp.

 

Life is short, live it well, be happy.

kind regards

cazmayo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I would like to be at home. They seem to let people stay at home these days and just have the nurse or doc call on them for drug therapy if necessary. Nicer at home, no seats in the hospital too noisy all that stuff.

 

However who knows it may be on the street corner :laugh:

 

Must be a paper coffin though do not want to waste resources

 

Agree about the paper coffin Petals, how about that vertical buried-in-a-bag cemetery in Camperdown in Victoria. Space saving if you ask me, although no cemeteries for me, my body is only matter and I want it turned into dust and scattered under a tree on the river at Warrandyte.

 

About hospitals - well my brother was having some treatment near his end of life at the facility where the new Olivia Newton John Cancer centre is being built (thanks god for that) and the old building was 100 years old and horrid - it was manky and dark and crowed. One day I was in there visiting him, and I walked out and in the dirty old lift with the smell of disinfectant etc and I cried. It was then I decided to bust him out of there.

I called a family member and said to bring their Landcruiser, as we were going to do a 'jail break' out of the that place. We put some pillows and blankets in the back, grabbed him, put him in there and took him home. The staff said 'you can't do that'. I said "I just did' and drove off. I was glad, as he was at home with his family the rest of the time, except for the last 24 hours where we needed some help. The hospital system is not a good place to die, and hopefully it won't be where I'm going. Oh, and the same as Bobj, take all my organs out before I go - although I can't guarantee their condition - especially my liver !:laugh:


If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Agree about the paper coffin Petals, how about that vertical buried-in-a-bag cemetery in Camperdown in Victoria. Space saving if you ask me, although no cemeteries for me, my body is only matter and I want it turned into dust and scattered under a tree on the river at Warrandyte.

 

About hospitals - well my brother was having some treatment near his end of life at the facility where the new Olivia Newton John Cancer centre is being built (thanks god for that) and the old building was 100 years old and horrid - it was manky and dark and crowed. One day I was in there visiting him, and I walked out and in the dirty old lift with the smell of disinfectant etc and I cried. It was then I decided to bust him out of there.

I called a family member and said to bring their Landcruiser, as we were going to do a 'jail break' out of the that place. We put some pillows and blankets in the back, grabbed him, put him in there and took him home. The staff said 'you can't do that'. I said "I just did' and drove off. I was glad, as he was at home with his family the rest of the time, except for the last 24 hours where we needed some help. The hospital system is not a good place to die, and hopefully it won't be where I'm going. Oh, and the same as Bobj, take all my organs out before I go - although I can't guarantee their condition - especially my liver !:laugh:

 

Olly can I book a jail break if ever that time comes:yes: That is so lovely and I bet your brother looks down at you now and thinks good on you sis:yes::hug:


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL Kate, yes he said to the nurse 'this is my bossy sister' don't take her on !

 

That palliative unit had a detonator under it llast year, and I wanted to press the button! Now I see the new Olivia Newton John Cancer and Wellbeing Centre on the top of the hill at Heidelberg, and I pray that it will be finished soon with fantastic facilities.

 

http://www.oliviaappeal.com/Sitemap.aspx


If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×