Guest stevenglish Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 Hi I'm going through the process of applying for sponsorship. It does seem to be a superb deal, flights, shipping, kids schooling & medical bills taken care of, tax relief on certain things and 12 weeks initial accomodation. I'll be tied to the company for 2 years but at the moment I have no intention of coming back, I want to make a real go of it for both me and my family. Why then is my mother -in -law :twisted: trying to emotionally blackmail my wife into staying. Has anyone had a similar experience? I don't want to resort to open war fare, but if I sit down and explain the 'once in a lifetime' nature of this chance we've been given she pretends I don't exist. Any advice?? Or should we just sneak off and send her a post card? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stevenglish Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 Hi I've spoken to the wife at length as you can imagine and she's really up for it, my only concern was that she's going along with it to spite her mum. She flatly denies this so I 'm more than happy with her approach. She does have a good relationship with her mum but she gets blanked on the subject too. Kind of a 'if i don't speak about it it won't happen' thing going on there. If you're a railway type you'll be interested in the company, Railcorp in Sydney, apply through agency at http://www.anderselite.com.au thanks for the reply & good luck if this work is suited to you. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lholmes Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Hi Steve Perhaps try the compassionate approach? At the end of the day she is obviously not dealing with losing you guys very well. It's a long way away for a family weekend! My advice is to explain that it's just as hard to leave them as it is for them to see you leave. Explain that your decision to migrate is not a personal attack on her but an opportunity you can’t say no to. Once she understands that it’s a decision you have made to benefit you and your wife's future, she should hopefully cave and see it from your perspective. Also, temp her with holidays and tales of the sunshine! She may be so sidetracked organizing her trip down under that she will forget about preventing you and your wife from leaving. I think the immigration process is hard but the emotional side of leaving friends and family is on a whole new level! Good luck and what ever happens, remind her that she is still family and always welcome in your lives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scott&lisa Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Hi All, I am extremely close to my mum, so when my husband and I announced that we had got our visa and were leaving as soon as we had sold our house (which we now have - hoorah!!) the emotional strain has been heartbreaking for us all. My husband is petrified that I will "lose it" at the airport and refuse to get on the plane. All I can do is reassure him that I want this new life (and I do - VERY MUCH) for us and our girls as much as he does. My parents want us to go as much as they don't - if that makes sense. They understand why we are going but it doesn't stop the hurt. My mum is trying to think of the holidays she will have and only the flight to pay for!! Besides, I have warned my husband that he will probably see more of the mother in law once we are in OZ when she comes over for her 3 month holiday!!!! Might be him deciding not to get on the plane after all!!! Anyhow, sorry to waffle on but as much as it hurts to say goodbye to family and friends I am sure they all understand why we all want to leave this crappy island behind for a much better life - and if they don't maybe the sneaking off and sending a postcard trick might be your best option!!! Lisa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Hiya Guys I wish my folks were as understanding, I'm not allowed to talk about it without my mother saying she wants to die. My father telling me how my little boy will die from a spider bite or such like! At this rate she will still be in denial as I am getting on the plane. I know they will never come to visit, as usual it will be down to me to come back and see them. Good luck with it all x SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scott&lisa Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Hi Scoop, Sorry to hear how your mum and dad are feeling about your move. The whole emmigration process is so stressful and then with family emotion on top it does get very hard to bear. All you can do is stay focused on why you started it all in the first place and just think of the benefits when your new life begins in OZ. I hope your mum and dad change their minds before you go. All the very best of luck Lisa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bethandneil Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 hi we too are getting grief about our planned move, so your not alone. However we are getting it from all sides, my mum, his brother and best friends, so if your only getting grief from you mum in law i envy you, it must be bliss!!!! Beth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Arnold Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Oooops we haven't even told our families yet......waiting for TRA app to be cleared first before we start getting the grief, we are going regardless!!! 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Hi Steve Perhaps try the compassionate approach? At the end of the day she is obviously not dealing with losing you guys very well. It's a long way away for a family weekend! My advice is to explain that it's just as hard to leave them as it is for them to see you leave. Explain that your decision to migrate is not a personal attack on her but an opportunity you can’t say no to. Once she understands that it’s a decision you have made to benefit you and your wife's future, she should hopefully cave and see it from your perspective. Also, temp her with holidays and tales of the sunshine! She may be so sidetracked organizing her trip down under that she will forget about preventing you and your wife from leaving. I think the immigration process is hard but the emotional side of leaving friends and family is on a whole new level! Good luck and what ever happens, remind her that she is still family and always welcome in your lives! Hi Sorry to hear of your difficulties, Steve. A friend of mine will be migrating to Oz soon. Her Mum (who is a pet, really - I think she was just trying to hide her upset and maybe also fear) was well dismal about it to start with, pretending to be totally uninterested and so on.... Anyway, we have managed to get her Mum thinking about wonderful visits to Adelaide for a six month break every year and no more gloomy winters in the UK. It worked. Her Mum has become so excited about 6 months in Oz that she & her hubby are now busy redecorating, so that they can let their house out whilst they are away and make it help to pay towards the cost of their trip. So I agree with Holmes. Hope the idea works for you too, Steve. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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