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AnxiousMum

Is it enough to just want a better life for your kids?

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As the title suggests, one of our main reasons for a potential move to OZ would be for the sake of the kids. I can honestly say I know if we did make the move I would struggle with day to day life for a while, I don't like change and that would be hard for me, I would also struggle if the kids didn't settle at first. (On the otherhand I know eventually they would be fine). BUT... After saying all that I just want a better life for my kids, a better future, and right now in the UK I personally don't think they will get it, I also don't think things will improve by the time mine leave school. I suppose what I am saying is I want a crystal ball to tell me if a move will be successful based on just wanting something better for my kids future.

 

Thoughts anyone?:biggrin:


"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Quote from Ferris Bueller.

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Guest siamsusie

Personally apart from employment prospects I dont believe "a country" gives you a better life if you are comparing many countries in Europe or Australia.

 

A good family secure environment is the most important.

Who knows employment wise what the future holds for children in 15/20 years down the track.. what it will do is to give them the opportunity of having the choice between two countries.

This is what I would have liked to achieve for my children who are now grown up.

 

I think emigration is an extremely hard slog, full of sacrifices , some say one has to be selfish in many ways !, its exciting, mind blowing , expensive, lonely, full of variable emotions .. but if you want something badly enough it is achievable.

 

For some it works, and it has worked for me, its a great country, but I do understand why some folks experience great hardship.

 

Dawny one of our members, arrived with her husband and two children, she came , saw and the children didnt like it, so now they have departed these shores.. From her you will also get some good positive advice about the negatives.

 

I hope it works out for you.

 

Susie x

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Guest guest37336
As the title suggests, one of our main reasons for a potential move to OZ would be for the sake of the kids. I can honestly say I know if we did make the move I would struggle with day to day life for a while, I don't like change and that would be hard for me, I would also struggle if the kids didn't settle at first. (On the otherhand I know eventually they would be fine). BUT... After saying all that I just want a better life for my kids, a better future, and right now in the UK I personally don't think they will get it, I also don't think things will improve by the time mine leave school. I suppose what I am saying is I want a crystal ball to tell me if a move will be successful based on just wanting something better for my kids future.

 

Thoughts anyone?:biggrin:

 

Nothing wrong Mum in wanting a better life for your kids, as responsible parents we always want the best for them, as long it is the 'best' for them and not us, if you know what I mean.

 

But be careful my friend, if the kids are happy in Australia it will pay little dividend if they see their mum unhappy. I'm NOT saying this will happen, but whilst childrens welfare is very important, so is our own, IMO anyway.

 

Hope you know what I mean.:wubclub:

 

Cheers Tony.

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Good points made by both of you, thanks for replying. I actually Dawn and know what a hard time she had deciding to leave OZ, but I think Lemming hit the nail on the head, its true the kids could be happy as larry but if I or their dad are unhappy they will pick up on that I suppose. Hmmmm lots of things to think about me thinks.:chatterbox:


"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Quote from Ferris Bueller.

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Guest tandcmum

I honestly don't know if where you are in the world has anything to do with giving kids a better life. I do fel if kids are nutured, loved, envcouraged and supported they will exceed in whatever country they are livng in. I do think moving to Oz will give the kids more options, even if just from a point o view that if you gain citizenship they have the choice of two different parts of the world to live in and work.

 

Kids are basically happy if they have a solid family background, for some families who have a lot of extended family support moving to the other side of the world may not be a good thing as they then miss out on that. My family are an independent unit with no support from grandparents etc. For the things we like to do as a family i think Oz will be the better place for all of us but i do think it is a very idiviual family thing

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I get what you are all saying, I really want more options for the kids when they leave school. In the UK right now the prospects for kids leaving school is not looking good and apparently wont pick up for next 5 years or so. I think my kids will have a better working life out in OZ than here.


"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Quote from Ferris Bueller.

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It's just a matter of one first world country versus another. Nothing magical about moving to the other side of the world away from the extended family and established support network to an essentially isolated experience for a couple of generations. Kids just need parents who want the best for their kids, not necessarily to trek them to the other side of the world - they need happy parents who model the sort of behaviour they eventually hope their kids will follow and it really doesnt matter where in the world you are to achieve that. Remember that Australia has high rates of youth suicide and significant youth mental health problems - it's not immune from the problems of the rest of the western world.

 

Be aware, too, that many young Aussies cant wait to escape the small pond that is Australia and head off for UK/Europe on their gap years so even though you may uproot and come here, your kids could be anywhere by the time they hit 25. I have one who went to UK for a gap year and hasnt come back - doesnt intend to, his career prospects have been far better than he could have achieved here and he is on the property ladder which is more than can be said for his brother who is still here - I cant see him ever getting a mortgage. Both lads have independently mentioned the relative isolation of our little family - both have partnered with girls from established, big extended families one in UK and one here - it will take a couple of generations for that isolation to become less evident

 

If you want to come to Australia, be sure that it is because you are wanting to scratch and adult itch for adventure, dont dump it on your kids

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A certain amount of this is cyclical, though. Three years ago there probably wasn't much to choose between the UK and Australia. Since then the UK has been through a recession, whereas Australia hasn't, making Down Under the better option.

 

As the saying goes, prediction is hard, especially when it's about the future, and I have no idea what's coming.

 

If Australia is heading into a recession now, then in five years time they could well be where we the UK currently is. In contrast, the UK could have pulled out of its economic fugue by then, and be enjoying strong growth.

 

Alternatively the current sovereign debt crisis might blow up, and take a wrecking ball to the world economy. Australia might be a better option then, simply because its low level of government debt means that it'll have more room for manoeuvre than the UK.

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It has to be a better life for the whole family. Children will settle and will learn anywhere as long as they are in a secure family unit. Also changing countries does not make them successful or unsuccessful in my opinion. Look at yourselves and what you are like and your children will probably be similar and have similar ambitions.

 

If you have a very secure job and are happy in it its a consideration not to make the move. Often people make the move and find that they have to start again to climb the ladder at work and some never make it to the rung they were on before they emigrated.

 

Its got to be an all or nothing experience and not a maybe, if, and put up with experience.


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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Hi Caroline,

I know i have already spoken to you about your dilemma, so won't ramble on too much lol, most peeps have already said what i would echo anyway!

It really is a case of having an itch that you need to scratch, but as most people know that there are a lot of itchie's that shouldn't be scratched unless we are prepared to face the outcome of our actions! We found out the hard way, that just cause we wanted something different our kids really didn't want to know, turned out to be one very emotional ,stressful and costly error on our part! We went through the guilt of dragging them to Australia, from family and all they knew, to feeling that we should have just said tough we are here now, and you are bloody well going to enjoy your life we have planned for you,we have gone to a lot of trouble and expense to give you a better life so get on with it!!!

 

But as you know we didn't say that at all, we chose to return, Once we made that decision, it was easy, all the stress and upset vanished over night so to speak, and allowed us to enjoy the last few weeks of our time in Oz!

Take your time, and make sure you talk and i mean really talk to your children, something i wish we had done more of,Let them know it really doesn't have to be for ever if you decide to go, You have options hun!

Who knows one day my little family just may want to take the plunge again, until then i will just sit it on the fence and wait, never say never :jiggy:

 

No doubt i will catch up with you soon on f/book, until then Ttfn and keep smiling hunny :hug: xx


Oz is Beautiful, but the uk is home :wubclub:

Returned to Bournemouth 20th August 2010

 

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When we first came I used to have real issues with the lack of grandparents for our children- I used to look at other families and envy them their extended families and friends. Don't get me wrong, I loved it here and always knew we would stay forever right from the start- but things were not all positive. Now I see my children and grandchildren and soon to be a great grandchild and they all have heaps of friends and relatives because we founded a dynasty out here, so to speak. Feels nice- and there was no guilt trip about having more than 2 kids like there was at that time in the UK.

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Guest melbourne07
As the title suggests, one of our main reasons for a potential move to OZ would be for the sake of the kids. I can honestly say I know if we did make the move I would struggle with day to day life for a while, I don't like change and that would be hard for me, I would also struggle if the kids didn't settle at first. (On the otherhand I know eventually they would be fine). BUT... After saying all that I just want a better life for my kids, a better future, and right now in the UK I personally don't think they will get it, I also don't think things will improve by the time mine leave school. I suppose what I am saying is I want a crystal ball to tell me if a move will be successful based on just wanting something better for my kids future.

 

Thoughts anyone?:biggrin:

Hi - I do sympathise with you, its a hard decision but a worthwhile one! I think it can be helpful to examine exactly how YOU feel about living in the uk, because that's the part that you know. As yet, you don't know how you will feel about living in oz - you may love or hate it.

Once you've done that, then you just have to shut your eyes and leap and once you're there, try to remain openminded, some things in oz are different, some better some worse, that's the experience of the migrating family.

If it helps, hubby and I moved to melbourne in 07, had our daughter there and made friends. of course we miss family in uk but for us the lifestyle and people far outweighed the downside.

i do believe with the current economic situation in uk its pretty hard for everyone, so australia (who are not suffering the recession nearly as much) is an easier place to live right now. that may change.

good luck with your decision- listen to your instincts only, no one else's experience/view can be as valuable as that.:cute:

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